# "str8" men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103 "2011-12-05T05:13:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![oogie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7feea3/32.png) [@oogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oogie)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/1 "2011-12-05T05:13:40Z")
why do so many so-called str8 men fool around with other men yet deny it to themselves and others?\* \* ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/2 "2011-12-05T05:17:49Z")
cite? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/3 "2011-12-05T05:23:44Z")
Can’t speak for others, but I ain’t. My best bud at school tried it on with me once and I wasn’t in the least bit interested. But I think the official answer is that sexuality is a non-linear continuum and your “str8” people are somewhere away from the 100% hetero end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/4 "2011-12-05T05:37:21Z")
I’ve heard about this before. They call it being on the “down-low”. As to understanding it, I haven’t the foggiest. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/5 "2011-12-05T05:46:01Z")
Lots of men think that it’s only gay if they’re catching rather than pitching. As long as they’re pitching, they’re fuckin’ _straight_ motherfuckers. “I ain’t no fuckin’ fag, you know that, right?”, these guys will grunt, as they’re penetrating another guy. I gather that it happens a lot in prison, among disadvantaged populations, and among men from macho cultures like Mexico, Italy, some parts of the Middle East, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/6 "2011-12-05T05:49:44Z")
What about the men who call themselves “straight”? Do they do it, too, or is this phenomenon only limited to those who don’t know how to spell? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/7 "2011-12-05T05:50:47Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Lots of men think that it’s only gay if they’re catching rather than pitching. As long as they’re pitching, they’re fuckin’ _straight_ motherfuckers. “I ain’t no fuckin’ fag, you know that, right?”, these guys will grunt, as they’re penetrating another guy. I gather that it happens a lot in prison, among disadvantaged populations, and among men from macho cultures like Mexico, Italy, some parts of the Middle East, etc. That sounds like rape. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/8 "2011-12-05T06:01:24Z")
“str8”? ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/9 "2011-12-05T06:08:55Z")
Because you don’t have to be gay to have ‘gay’ sex? ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/10 "2011-12-05T07:25:56Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That sounds like rape. :eek: Err, how? 😕 (OK, I can see it in the prison example, but from what I’ve read on this board that happens much less in real life than popular culture would lead you to believe.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/11 "2011-12-05T07:37:31Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Err, how? 😕 (OK, I can see it in the prison example, but from what I’ve read on this board that happens much less in real life than popular culture would lead you to believe.) Perhaps it was just the image the prison example set in my head; along with the line, “I ain’t no fuckin’ fag, you know that right?!” It just seemed very rape-y ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/12 "2011-12-05T08:25:02Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > cite? 1. Go to craigslist. 2. Enter m4m section. 3. Search for “str8”. That’s your cite. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/13 "2011-12-05T08:29:57Z")
And to answer the OP’s question, it’s pretty simple: men generally have higher sex drives than women, and women are also generally more selective about who they’ll have sex with than men are. That leads to a large surplus of men who want to have sex but don’t have or can’t find an available and willing woman (they may even have wives/girlfriends from whom they just aren’t getting enough), and they seek out men for sex. Yet at the end of the day, they still like and prefer women sexually, so they consider themselves straight or “str8”. What’s the mystery? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/14 "2011-12-05T08:33:57Z")
Because, while women have a bit more fluidity allowed in our sexual expression (ie, I kissed a Girl, the LUG concept, Portia del Rossi, etc), male sexuality is seen as a binary - either you’re gay or you’re straight, full stop. The concept of male bisexuality is in some ways seen as more deviant than homosexuality. So… if a fellow is attracted to women and also attracted to men, he is more likely to feel like he needs to make a choice, one way or another - and being gay is a lot harder in this society. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/15 "2011-12-05T08:39:11Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Because, while women have a bit more fluidity allowed in our sexual expression (ie, I kissed a Girl, the LUG concept, Portia del Rossi, etc), male sexuality is seen as a binary - either you’re gay or you’re straight, full stop. The concept of male bisexuality is in some ways seen as more deviant than homosexuality. So.. if a fellow is attracted to women and also attracted to men, he is more likely to feel like he needs to make a choice, one way or another - and being gay is a lot harder in this society. Plus he may prefer women anyways. Still, it doesn’t explain why the actual college stereotype is usually women experimenting. Maybe just because they’re okay with admitting it? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/16 "2011-12-05T08:50:26Z")
Pretty much, starting with admitting the desire to do it to themselves. There’s a phrase that I’ve heard guys use “You only have to go to the moon once, but you’re an astronaut all your life” - ie, if you have one homosexual experience, you are Therefore Gay. It sounds pretty stupid to me, honestly. But that kind of mentality makes guys who, if they had the freedom to acknowledge it to themselves and to others, would be somewhat in the middle of the Kinsey scale, panic and decide that they Must Be Straight! Or else! Which in turn leads to things like gay-bashing, and Ted Haggard, and all sorts of nastiness. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/17 "2011-12-05T09:01:42Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That sounds like rape. :eek: Rape, in prison? Say it ain’t so! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/18 "2011-12-05T10:11:58Z")
And here I thought this thread was going to be about the one guy in a comedy act who sets up his partner to deliver the punch lines. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/19 "2011-12-05T11:54:02Z")
Because because compared to me, most other men are anatomically closer to being a woman?😃 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103/20 "2011-12-05T14:07:24Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Because, while women have a bit more fluidity allowed in our sexual expression (ie, I kissed a Girl, the LUG concept, Portia del Rossi, etc), male sexuality is seen as a binary - either you’re gay or you’re straight, full stop. The concept of male bisexuality is in some ways seen as more deviant than homosexuality. So.. if a fellow is attracted to women and also attracted to men, he is more likely to feel like he needs to make a choice, one way or another - and being gay is a lot harder in this society. What about Portia de Rossi represents fluidity in sexual expression? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/str8-men/605103.md?page=2)