# Straight Dope Crushes and Fantasies?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200 "2000-04-13T22:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/101 "2000-04-17T20:24:00Z")
Hey Demo, are you _sure_ you knew that?? šŸ˜‰ * * * Alcohol and calculus donā€™t mix. Never drink and derive. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/102 "2000-04-17T21:27:00Z")
I damn well _know_ Dragonlady has crush potential! I mean, she likes Cinnamon oil, yā€™know?! šŸ™‚ * * * VB Iā€™ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. Itā€™s broken. - A Wally original! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/103 "2000-04-17T21:28:00Z")
Well, with the usual caveats regarding the existence of a real-life lady to whom I am devotedā€¦ ā€¦Shayna makes my toes curl. In the really good way. šŸ™‚ - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/104 "2000-04-17T21:29:00Z")
My \*\*\*TRUE \*\*\* crush on this board knows for a certainty who she is, and I ainā€™t tellin! * * * VB Iā€™ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. Itā€™s broken. - A Wally original! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/105 "2000-04-17T21:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by psycat90: > \*\*Hey Demo, are you _sure_ you knew that?? šŸ˜‰ > > \*\* Smart assā€¦ ::smooch:: šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/106 "2000-04-17T22:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Coldfire: > \*\*Woohooā€¦ three crushes already! > > Mine would be mega the roo, MoosieGirl and CanadianSue, I guess.\*\* ## Fineā€¦nothing about your favorite bird? Hmpf! And sheeshā€¦not even mentioned once? _sob_ My life is just ruined now. šŸ˜‰ Homepage: [www.tiercel.com](http://www.tiercel.com) Occupation: Culling slow moving vermin Location: The wild blue yonder. Interests: Thermals, updrafts, downdrafts, air currents in general. (Profile by UncleBeer.) Environment? Nah. Mood lighting and ambience is what counts. - a genuine **WallyM7** sig ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/107 "2000-04-17T22:48:00Z")
It was a typical Monday, Falcon. I was struggling to reach my wisecrack quotaā€¦ and the Canuck Women thing was the only thing that came to mind. Sad, huh? Rest assured, if it werenā€™t for Max being so big, the Atlantic being so wide and my girlfriend being so jealous, our bilateral crushes could lead to great things šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/108 "2000-04-17T22:55:00Z")
Hey, Falconā€¦donā€™t feel so bad. I didnā€™t get a mention either. * * * ## Homepage: [www.idreamofjeannie.com](http://www.idreamofjeannie.com) Occupation:Wish granting Location: Iā€™m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla. Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble ā€“_Custom profile courtesy of **UncleBeer** _ I never hate myself in the morning. I sleep till noon. ā€“_Custom sig line courtesy of **Wally** _ ---
**Author:** ![saucy\_potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@saucy\_potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucy_potato)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/109 "2000-04-17T23:09:00Z")
Me neither. Maybe Iā€™m too new? Too boring? ā˜¹ * * * _That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch._ ---
**Author:** ![ignatiusjreilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@ignatiusjreilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatiusjreilly)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/110 "2000-04-17T23:42:00Z")
Hey **Riddles** - if you come to Houston for our Dopefest in three weeks, Iā€™ll sing for you. I added a verse to the timeless classic called ā€œPlease Come to Bostonā€ ā€œPlease come to Houston when the sky melts Itā€™s freakinā€™ hot outside and it smells oh so badā€¦ā€ Iā€™m need to come up with a line about bitching about the Astros. OK - still working on it, but you get the idea. heh heh ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/111 "2000-04-17T23:51:00Z")
Iā€™m so hot, I have a crush on myself. (Oh, and Iā€™m modest too.) ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/112 "2000-04-18T00:45:00Z")
I absolutely would have mentioned my crush on Jeannie as wellā€¦ but dang it, sheā€™s my crush on Pyroto. Here too. I just think of her as JeannieEatsZucchini now. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/113 "2000-04-18T00:57:00Z")
Oh, geez, Rickā€¦you made me blushā€¦ I think you may have only said that because of my complaining that no one mentioned me. But even if you did, and since you said it first, Iā€™ll fess up: Bricker is my crush. So, um, how about that picture, oh Grand High Wizard? ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/114 "2000-04-18T01:19:00Z")
I have a crush on **Ruffian**. Oh no, too late!: [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/007382.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/007382.html) ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/115 "2000-04-18T01:29:00Z")
True, Ruffian is a babe. But I always seem to end up having crushes on unavailable women. So I refuse to have crushes at all. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/116 "2000-04-18T02:02:00Z")
I am deeply flattered but somewhat bemused, by being ā€œfictionalā€ and by being included with Alphagene and Gaudere. Demo, you are a certified sweetie and a fine person. But I am a tad worried about you. ::bestows chaste kiss on Demoā€™s cheekā€“on his FACE, perverts!:: Veb ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/117 "2000-04-18T02:22:00Z")
Well, Rick. I was all set to tell you how much you rock my world. But then I read thisā€¦ > [@](#): > > I absolutely would have mentioned my crush on Jeannie as wellā€¦ but dang it, sheā€™s my crush on Pyroto. > > Here too. ::cue evil music here:: So Jeannie, do you have any food allergies? Peanuts, perhaps? Iā€™d like to invite you over to dinner some time this week. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Iā€™m just kidding, of course. šŸ˜‰ And Rick, you know you light my fire, babe. But since weā€™re being fickle, Iā€™m free to mention that thereā€™s also a NY lawyer here who has me a bit intriguedā€¦ * * * [ul][li]ā€œShaynaā€¦ [one of] the most despised posters on this board.ā€ As declared by WallyM7. (And if you want to know who the others are, [click here](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/007220.html). Iā€™m in very good company!)[/li][li]ā€œMom, heā€™s a neo Nazi! Heā€™s a doctor also? Wellā€¦ā€ - an original WallyM7 sig.[/li][\*]ā€œHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.ā€ - Anne Frank[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/118 "2000-04-18T15:54:00Z")
Yā€™all also might want to check out [www.ecrush.com,](http://www.ecrush.com,) another anonymous crush site. It actually worked once with me with an old friendā€¦ šŸ™‚ And although I am the proud recipient of **matt\_mcl** ā€™s affections, Iā€™m terribly surprised no women have named me. What, doesnā€™t great grammar, intelligent discourse and conviction count for anything anymore? {SIGH} OK, how about my adorable boyish good looks? šŸ˜ƒ Esprix, whose picture is in two threads on this board * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## ā€œNever assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.ā€ {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sigā„¢} ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/119 "2000-04-18T15:58:00Z")
I have a crush on ultress but she doesnā€™t even know I exist. ā˜¹ * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/120 "2000-04-18T16:14:00Z")
Alright, after that last post, I have to take the bait and have a crush on Nothingman. Persistance is the mother of crushes. Or something. Donā€™t worry, after years of despising the way I look, becoming power hungry isnā€™t a possibility. However, the other crushes shall remain concealed in an enigma, etc. * * * A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing: ā€œI go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.ā€ A custom made Wally .sig! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200.md?page=7)