# Straight Dope Crushes and Fantasies?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200 "2000-04-13T22:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/121 "2000-04-19T05:03:00Z")
You do know why they are called crushes, don’t you? Because when you actually find the courage to let them be known, the object of your affections rejects you, utterly crushing your heart. —Yeah, I’m cynical about it, so what? * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/122 "2000-04-19T05:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I am deeply flattered but somewhat bemused, by being “fictional” and by being included with Alphagene and Gaudere. There have only been a few times since I’ve been here when I _realy_ wish I could’ve phrased my post better. Fictional…sheesh… I’m a putz. Oh well, I still got a kiss! Nyah nyah nyah nyah! * * * I have chainmail underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/123 "2000-04-18T20:30:00Z")
Esprix, hon…you’re a sweetie. Not sure if I’d call it a crush, but I would LOVE to meet and hang with you. (Besides, doesn’t a crush have to have SOME chance of happening? ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/124 "2000-04-18T21:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Falcon** : > > Esprix, hon…you’re a sweetie. Not sure if I’d call it a crush, but I would LOVE to meet and hang with you. (Besides, doesn’t a crush have to have SOME chance of happening? ;)) Not necessarily - we can have crushes on movie stars, can’t we? And I’ve love to meet you, too. 🙂 Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™} ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/125 "2000-04-18T21:36:00Z")
Well in that case, Esprix, I suppose I could have a crush on you…you ARE a cutie. 😉 Besides, you remind me of my friend Mark. And hell, you’re in Philly? Come on down when we have the next DC gathering, boy! ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/126 "2000-04-18T21:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Shayna: > \*\*:cue evil music here:: > > So Jeannie, do you have any food allergies? Peanuts, perhaps? I’d like to invite you over to dinner some time this week. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! > > \*\* Um…see, I just _knew_ I shouldn’t have said anything… Look at it this way, Shayna…I had to fish for my compliment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/127 "2000-04-18T23:50:00Z")
Jeannie, honest, I was only joking. Really and truly. Cross my heart. Actually, I was trying to be funny and I guess it didn’t come across quite the way I meant it to. I really didn’t mean to insult you if I did. I’m not having the best posting week. ☹ Maybe it’s a good thing I’m going home for a few days - I think I need the break. Have a happy holiday! * * * [ul][li]“Shayna… [one of] the most despised posters on this board.” As declared by WallyM7. (And if you want to know who the others are, [click here](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/007220.html). I’m in very good company!)[/li][li]“Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - an original WallyM7 sig.[/li][\*]“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/128 "2000-04-19T00:08:00Z")
Shayna–I’m sorry. My post was meant to be funny as well. I totally understood what you meant and took your comment in the spirit that you meant. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I guess I should have added another smilie? ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/129 "2000-04-19T02:23:00Z")
Demo, you may not, NOT beat up on yourself, don hair shirts or apply cat o’ nine tails to yourself. There are plenty of perverted and seriously sideways Dopers who will happily do that for you. In all probability they’ll bring along the drop clothes, mood candles, mind-altering substances and coconut-kiwi body oil. You are NOT a putz. Wally will TELL you when you are a putz. You are a genuine sweet guy, which is much rarer and much less saacharine that that sounds. I was poking fun at myself; TVeblen IS fictional. I’m not a.) dead, b.) male, c.) an economist or d.) (aspersions by Pluto aside, bearded. Rest assured that you’re worth more than a few wistful, lustful little dreams yourself. But time is out of sync. Just ask Chris; she stayed at my place last weekend and not ONE damned clock agreed with another. Here’s lusting at you, kid. Veb (But ALPHAGENE?! Gaudere, natch; but Alpha??) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/130 "2000-04-19T02:36:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You do know why they are called crushes, don’t you? Sure! You take the head of the object of your affection and very, very slowly crush it in a vise until they admit that they’ve been a little sweet on you too! Well, it worked for me. * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/131 "2000-04-19T02:40:00Z")
I am hurt… No crushed… No whiplashed… No bedazzeled. No one is crushing me. Oh the humanity. What must I do to gain the heart’s and minds of you the fickle public of Dopers. Don’t cry for me, I will just be bouncing my ball against the wall. Alone. sniff sniff, no no, thats just a toothpick in my eye, no matter no matter. Oh, wait, now I have figured it out. All of my crushees are secret admirers to shy to let me know. Ahh, everything is clear now. Woooh, that was a close one. Please don’t tell me, that will ruin the intrigue. Now, the more people who don’t have a crush on me, the more I feel like James Bond. Now for my crushes. Byzantine was always pretty neat, although I haven’t seen her much around lately. NeuroTrashGirl too. And many others. Those are the two I think of right away. pat ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/132 "2000-04-19T02:43:00Z")
**::Beaming::** ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/133 "2000-04-19T02:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Demo, you may not, NOT beat up on yourself, don hair shirts or apply cat o’ nine tails to yourself. > There are plenty of perverted and seriously sideways Dopers who will happily do that for you. ## Yep. xoxo Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/134 "2000-04-19T03:38:00Z")
pricciar: > [@](#): > > I am hurt… > No crushed… > No whiplashed… > No bedazzeled. No one is crushing me. Oh the humanity. Don’t feel bad. Nobody wants to play with me, either. I think it’s because I’m the big bad boo- \ What? * * * Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/135 "2000-04-19T04:11:00Z")
Jeannie: > [@](#): > > I totally understood what you meant and took your comment in the spirit that you meant. > > Don’t be so hard on yourself. Thanks for saying that, Jeannie. It was one of those things that I thought sounded funny when I typed it (and it kindof followed a joke Bricker and I had had the day before). And then when I looked at it later, I realized it might’ve come off kindof snotty - like I couldn’t appreciate Bricker’s compliment to me without razzing you for yours. I suffered from ‘Post Now Regret Later’ syndrome - and I felt bad. I think from now on I’ll leave the sarcastic humor to Wally - LOL. I’m just feeling a bit of pre-travel stress, I guess. Thanks for understanding. 🙂 If I were gay, I’d pick you for my crush cuz you’re so sweet! Bricker’s got good taste! * * * [ul][li]“Shayna… [one of] the most despised posters on this board.” As declared by WallyM7. (And if you want to know who the others are, [click here](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/007220.html). I’m in very good company!)[/li][li]“Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - an original WallyM7 sig.[/li][\*]“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/136 "2000-04-19T04:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > \*\*Alright, after that last post, I have to take the bait and have a crush on Nothingman. Persistance is the mother of crushes. > > \*\* I learn something new on this MB everyday. “Persistance” eh ? Have to try that one IRL. Now if you will excuse me, I will be in the corner doing the patented happy dance. ## 😃 _“I am mortal, born to love and to suffer.” - Friedrich Holderlin_ ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/137 "2000-04-19T04:25:00Z")
Kat said: > [@](#): > > Um, lessee… > Mully, Wally, Coldfire, Uke, **Irishman** , Cowgod, CK, Surgoshan, Bricker, umm…some others I can’t remember at 12:30 am. > > After I get some sleep, I’m blaming this post on the housesitter. Hey, bring her along too. Oh wait, I wasn’t going to post fantasies! ::Suddenly realizes that could look like I want the orgy to include all the other guys too.:: ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/138 "2000-04-19T04:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Esprix: > \*\*OK, how about my adorable boyish good looks? 😃 > > Esprix, whose picture is in two threads on this board > > \*\* How did I miss it? Links, please! * * * Those who are dancing look insane to those who cannot hear the music. * * * One-of-a-kind, custom-designed Wally sig available on request. ---
**Author:** ![Cowboy\_Greg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Cowboy\_Greg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowboy_Greg)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/139 "2000-04-19T05:10:00Z")
**Evilbeth** , if you go to Esprix’ [home page](http://members.aol.com/esprix/), you’ll see that he does indeed have adorable boyish good looks. And those puppy dog eyes. Lucky for him I’m already hitched. 😉 * * * “It’s a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals.” ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200/140 "2000-04-19T05:14:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Irishman: > ::Suddenly realizes that could look like I want the orgy to include all the other guys too.:: I wouldn’t mind that at all. Umm…from Kat’s housesitter…yeah, that’s it. Really. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-crushes-and-fantasies/16200.md?page=8)