# Straight Dope-The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629 "2011-09-08T17:44:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/21 "2011-09-08T20:54:50Z")
Biggirl will be played by a re-animated Shirley Hemphill. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/22 "2011-09-08T20:57:43Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > **Diogenes the Cynic** will be played by John Goodman. I don’t know, I’ve always pictured DtC being more of a Stellan Skarsgård lookalike. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/23 "2011-09-08T21:15:17Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I don’t know, I’ve always pictured DtC being more of a Stellan Skarsgård lookalike. I was picturing him as John Goodman in _The Big Lebowski_. Calmer’n you are. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/24 "2011-09-08T21:16:58Z")
I’m thinking Una = Uma The \*Kill Bill \* icy-cold asassain version of course. But with a hard hat and spreadsheet instead of a sword. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/25 "2011-09-08T21:25:00Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Let’s cast the Straight Dope movie! Let me start with: > > Cecil Adams-Frank Langella > Ed Zotti-William Hurt > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Cecil: Rob Reiner, in cut-off shorts, sleeveless sweatshirt and carpet slippers. > Ed: Matthew Broderick, with very big glasses, buttondown shirt and gimmicky tie. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Another idea based on [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=623494): Have _several_ people play Cecil, along the lines of the Bob Dylan bio-pic _I’m Not There._ One of them should be Cate Blanchett. None of them should be Richard Gere. > [@koeeoaddi](#): > > **Cecil** will be a voice on the telephone and never seen > **Ed** will be played by Hugh Laurie (or Bender, if it’s animated) Wrong. All of you, wrong. The roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by Adam Sandler. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/26 "2011-09-08T21:27:19Z")
Nobody is awesome enough to be me. I’d better do it. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/27 "2011-09-08T21:33:44Z")
The role of phall0106 will be played by Jim Carey. In a dress. Or a skirt, I’m not picky. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/28 "2011-09-08T21:36:00Z")
Kunilou will be played by [Mitch Pileggi](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0683379/). Unless the popular misconception that Kunilou is actually a woman persists all the way to the casting decisions, in which case I’ll be played by Roseanne. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/29 "2011-09-08T21:39:12Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Wrong. All of you, wrong. > > The roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by Adam Sandler. No, the roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by Nicolas Cage. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/30 "2011-09-08T21:43:41Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Biggirl will be played by a re-animated Shirley Hemphill. Nope. Queen Latifah. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/31 "2011-09-08T21:48:56Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Biggirl will be played by a re-animated Shirley Hemphill. I made the mistake of reanimating Shirley Hemphill once. Trust me: sometimes, dead is bettah. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/32 "2011-09-08T21:54:50Z")
To play me…? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/33 "2011-09-08T21:57:15Z")
The part of **Gary “Wombat” Robson** will be played by Liam Neeson. [In a kilt](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2KA8Xmn-_Fk/TR5dHlOAKBI/AAAAAAAAB2E/ds2LfyPi6Ps/s1600/greatkilt.jpg). **Colibri** will be played by a small, yet talented, violetears hummingbird. **Marley** will be played by [Eric Idle](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE). Terry Jones will play the spammers. All of them. **Exapno Mapcase** will be played by that dude who played the sorcerer in _Conan the Barbarian_. I’m not sure why. I just think it would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/34 "2011-09-08T22:46:50Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > Toni Colette will play **twicks** because Judy Dench and Maggie Smith are both unavailable and a tad too old Uh, okay. :dubious: Since Cary Grant isn’t available, his modern equivalent, George Clooney, will play **C K Dexter Haven**. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/35 "2011-09-08T22:57:58Z")
**Lancia** will be played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, with hair/beard dyed brown. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/36 "2011-09-08T23:19:47Z")
**silenus** - A role of enormous variety and nuance, and played by an actor of such versatility, such talent…let me put it to you this way: I play the part. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/37 "2011-09-08T23:20:49Z")
Gangster Octopus will be an animated Octopus voiced by Joe Pesci. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/38 "2011-09-08T23:24:21Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/39 "2011-09-08T23:46:43Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Uh, okay. :dubious: I was going to go with Helen Mirren. 🙂 Is it my fault the classy smart ones are at least a decade too old? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/40 "2011-09-08T23:55:19Z")
I’m a 41-year-old white male, so I think **Jackee** would be the right choice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=3)