# Straight Dope-The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629 "2011-09-08T17:44:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/61 "2011-09-09T01:49:58Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Wrong. All of you, wrong. > > The roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by Adam Sandler. You take that back. > [@Tangent](#): > > No, the roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by Nicolas Cage. That goes double for you. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/62 "2011-09-09T01:55:58Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > And yours truly? Doogie Howser. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/63 "2011-09-09T02:07:07Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > I think Jack Black would be an excellent **The Grapist**. I’ve already called in the Fruit Of The Loom grapes guy for that role. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/64 "2011-09-09T02:08:05Z")
The roles of **Rick** and **Gary T** will be played by Airport vintage George Kennedy and TOS vintage James Doohan. The casting director is arguing with the director over who plays who. **QTM** is probably going to be played by DeForrest Kelly ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/65 "2011-09-09T02:20:04Z")
And XT will play Johnny Depp, SDMB Pirate™… -XT ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/66 "2011-09-09T02:23:12Z")
the role of **dogbutler** will be played by Alton Brown. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/67 "2011-09-09T02:33:10Z")
No, the roles of Cecil and Ed will both be played by [Frank Morgan](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0604656/). ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/68 "2011-09-09T02:36:48Z")
Mosier will be played by Captain James T. Kirk. We’ll have to recast the roll of William Shatner, due to the time constraints placed on Kirk. Maybe George W. Bush could pull it off? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/69 "2011-09-09T02:52:53Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > Also, if **Gary** gets to have Liam Neeson as a kilt portraying him, I will be required to be on set. You know. For… uh, kilt compliance checks. Can’t have a kilt falling out of compliance. Okay, you can check Liam. But when I’m on set, I have [my own compliance checker](http://www.robson.org/pics/Gary-Doug-Kathy-Highland-Games-2011.jpg) (that’s me on the right, my compliance checker in the middle, and our son on the left). ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/70 "2011-09-09T02:53:44Z")
I shall be played by an animated seal point Siamese cat. Or possibly Quistis Trepe. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/71 "2011-09-09T03:05:07Z")
I will be played by a goateed **Jon Favreau** , who will gain fifty pounds in the name of verisimilitude. My voice, however, will be dubbed by **Brad Garrett.** ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/72 "2011-09-09T03:10:36Z")
I’ll be a computer generated mashup of Kenneth Branagh and John Goodman. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/73 "2011-09-09T03:33:22Z")
Hockey Monkey will be played by an 80s Delta Burke. ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/74 "2011-09-09T04:00:19Z")
I won’t be in the movie as a character, but it will be my eye that’s used for part of the **2001** esque psychedelic montage that occurs near the end, after Cecil and Ed meet. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/75 "2011-09-09T04:41:32Z")
Little Nemo will be played by Monica Bellucci. In the nude. It’s not an authentic representation but I think it’ll bring more to the movie. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/76 "2011-09-09T04:43:26Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > And yours truly? Justin Bieber. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/77 "2011-09-09T04:52:07Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:69, topic:595629”] Okay, you can check Liam. But when I’m on set, I have [my own compliance checker](http://www.robson.org/pics/Gary-Doug-Kathy-Highland-Games-2011.jpg) (that’s me on the right, my compliance checker in the middle, and our son on the left). [/QUOTE] Warning! do not cross this mod. Instead of jack boots he carries a sword. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/78 "2011-09-09T05:04:27Z")
Maiira will be played by Ellen Page, just motherfuckin’ because. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/79 "2011-09-09T05:13:34Z")
Bit player but steady worker Hometownboy will be played by [Percy Helton](http://www.flixster.com/photos/percy-helton-hushhush-sweet-charlotte-10393419). Just to add a touch of surrealistic gravitas, his voice will be dubbed by Morgan Freeman. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/80 "2011-09-09T05:27:36Z")
Despite my tipping the scales at a mere 144 lbs, I shall be portrayed by the re-animated John Candy in a fat suit, who will deliver my lines with the supercilious grandeur of Ignatius J. Riley. Or what the hell, the reanimated Orson Welles. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=5)