# Straight Dope-The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629 "2011-09-08T17:44:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/81 "2011-09-09T05:40:56Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > **Cecil** will be a voice on the telephone and never seen I like this. And **Ed** will never be the person at the other end of the line. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/82 "2011-09-09T09:06:17Z")
I’m afraid my part will only be an extra, but here are [two](http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/7/3/6edbbf13-7b00-4df0-bb47-0beaa12445b8.jpg) [guys](http://files.coloribus.com/files/adsarchive/part_557/5576005/file/dog-kennel-einstein-small-31385.jpg) that are perfect for the role. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/83 "2011-09-09T10:25:52Z")
Willthekittensurvive? will be played by Antonio Banderas in his puss in boots suit! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/84 "2011-09-09T10:29:02Z")
Robin Williams is the perfect choice for **Super Kapowzler**. I was putting out feelers to Meryl Streep’s people for the role of Ellen Cherry, but it appears Karen Allen has already been cast. She needs to wear the dress from the desert tent in _Indiana Jones_. With the snake heels. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/85 "2011-09-09T10:38:28Z")
I will, of course, be portrayed by the Panda from Kung-Fu Panda, yet voiced by James Earl Jones. eta: **Czarcasm** can be played by Jaleel White. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/86 "2011-09-09T10:51:21Z")
**Opalcat** will be played by the hottest blonde bombshell in the business today. For verisimilitude. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/87 "2011-09-09T11:20:58Z")
I, **VunderBob** , will be portrayed by Mark Knopfler on steroids. Mostly because I’ve always wanted to play guitar, and can’t. Paul Lynde of Hollywood Squares vintage would be an excellent choice for **SwampBear**. Judy Tenuta as **FairyChatMom**. Gates McFadden in her ST:TNG prime as **AnyRose**. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/88 "2011-09-09T11:21:59Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I was putting out feelers to Meryl Streep’s people for the role of Ellen Cherry, but it appears Karen Allen has already been cast. She needs to wear the dress from the desert tent in _Indiana Jones_. With the snake heels. Two thumbs up for this. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/89 "2011-09-09T11:24:38Z")
I’d like to be portrayed by Nathan Fillion, if he can manage to play quieter and less charming. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/90 "2011-09-09T12:48:43Z")
Ministryman will be played by Al Sharpton…ahahahahahahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/91 "2011-09-09T14:18:14Z")
Kate Winslet should play **Olivesmarch4th**. And Samuel L. Jackson is perfect for **Skald the Rhymer**. Accept no substitute! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/92 "2011-09-09T14:28:19Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Kate Winslet should play **Olivesmarch4th**. And Samuel L. Jackson is perfect for **Skald the Rhymer**. Accept no substitute! With all due respect, dearest, that is silliness. I am an ageless spirit of malice and ice cream; it is as impossible for a mortal to impersonate me as it is for your ilk to look upon my true form without being destroyed. Even my wife must don goggles ere we mate. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/93 "2011-09-09T14:43:30Z")
OK. Marty Feldman it is, then. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kapntoad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@kapntoad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapntoad)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/94 "2011-09-09T14:49:42Z")
The 747 will play itself, with Blue Man Group in the role of “Treadmill”. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/95 "2011-09-09T15:00:07Z")
I shall be played by an actual dung beetle; however if that is not possible, I would also accept Sofia Vergara or Pee Wee Herman. Call Weird Al’s agent and see if he will consent to play **Vinyl Turnip**! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/96 "2011-09-09T15:03:11Z")
**lieu** , of course, will be played by Fred Flintstone. Either that or Bruce Campbell. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/97 "2011-09-09T15:06:06Z")
This is ridiculously fun. Tom Cruise should portray **Argent Towers**. Wilfrid Brimley should play **samclem** , obviously. **Athena** should be played by Julia Child. It’s only right. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/98 "2011-09-09T15:09:43Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > OK. Marty Feldman it is, then. 😃 I don’t know who that is, and I don’t know how to use Google or IMDB or Wikipedia or Yahoo!, but I sense nonetheless that I am being mocked. The usual threats. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/99 "2011-09-09T15:21:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Even my wife must don goggles ere we mate. A pointless gesture. Everyone knows that the goggles, they do nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/100 "2011-09-09T15:29:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t know who that is, and I don’t know how to use Google or IMDB or Wikipedia or Yahoo!, but I sense nonetheless that I am being mocked. The usual threats. In your defense, her choice of a dead actor to portray you _is_ rather low. You should be portrayed by a living actor everyone has heard of. Like Tom Green. Or Andy Dick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=6)