# Straight Dope-The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629 "2011-09-08T17:44:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/101 "2011-09-09T15:51:12Z")
The role of Max Torque will be played by [Abraham Benrubi](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0072344/). And if he is not available, by Daniel Craig. And if he is not available, by a block of parmesan cheese. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/102 "2011-09-09T15:51:32Z")
**Clothahump** : Rush Limbaugh **Der Trihs** : Michael Moore Man who masturbates like a mother fuck: Steve Buscemi Blimp: Rick Moranis hanging from a wire in a fat suit ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/103 "2011-09-09T15:54:05Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > In your defense, her choice of a dead actor to portray you _is_ rather low. You should be portrayed by a living actor everyone has heard of. Like Tom Green. Or Andy Dick. I don’t know who this Tom Green fellow is either, but if he is anything like Andy Dick, you’ll pay for this. And your little dog, too. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/104 "2011-09-09T15:55:48Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I was putting out feelers to Meryl Streep’s people for the role of Ellen Cherry, but it appears Karen Allen has already been cast. She needs to wear the dress from the desert tent in _Indiana Jones_. With the snake heels. The character \*\*Ellen Cherry \*\*is a moderator. All moderators must wear jackboots. Sorry, but it’s canon. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/105 "2011-09-09T16:01:57Z")
**Der Trihs** is Alan Rickman. Well, _somebody_ has to be. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/106 "2011-09-09T16:06:38Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Judy Tenuta as **FairyChatMom**. Aw, c’mon - you go for the cheap accordion joke? 😛 I see myself more as Bette Midler from her Ruthless People days - don’t cross me… 😃 OK, I can’t pull that off either. How about the late great Selma Diamond? I’m taller than she was and not as skinny, but I can do a whiny voice with the best of them! Plus she reminds me of my Aunt Jean, so there may be a genetic predisposition. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/107 "2011-09-09T16:17:22Z")
And Don Rickles as **BMalion**! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/108 "2011-09-09T16:22:49Z")
**BottledBlondJeanie** will of course be played by Barbara Eden as she appeard in 1965 who will of course wear the costume from I deam of Jeannie. **zoid** will be played by Kevin Costner, however all of his scenes will be left on the cutting room floor. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/109 "2011-09-09T16:39:49Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > I’d like to be portrayed by Nathan Fillion, if he can manage to play quieter and less charming. The man’s gotta sleep sometime. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/110 "2011-09-09T16:50:58Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Call Weird Al’s agent and see if he will consent to play **Vinyl Turnip**! He said he’d love to, but he’s extremely busy managing Weird Al’s career. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/111 "2011-09-09T16:52:19Z")
Elucidator played by Ed Asner Shodan played by Larry the Cable Guy Skald’s Human form will be portrayed by Andy Serkis via motion capture Der Trihs portrayed by Zachary Quinto ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/112 "2011-09-09T17:19:55Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Biggirl will be played by a re-animated Shirley Hemphill. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Nope. > Queen Latifah. I was going to say Queen Latifah should play me, but she’d need an awful lot of make up - so Kathy Najima or Rikki Lake better put back all the weight they’ve lost if one of them wants the role. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/113 "2011-09-09T18:06:24Z")
Reporter: So, I hear _Silent Bob_ is going to play you in the movie. Corner Case: _{raise eyebrow}{blink}{shrug}{wobble head}{spread hands}_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/114 "2011-09-09T18:06:57Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > He said he’d love to, but he’s extremely busy managing Weird Al’s career. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/115 "2011-09-09T18:08:10Z")
Lil Ed to be played by Kevin Costner Unca Cecil to be played by William Hurt Tomndebb to be played by Dane Cook Una to be played by Demi Moore ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/116 "2011-09-09T18:27:32Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Nope. > Queen Latifah. I’ve sat across from both **Biggirl** and **Queen Latifah**. **Biggirl** nailed it. 🆒 **Cartooniverse** would be played by his [doppelganger](http://www.pbase.com/image/2564925). **TubaDiva** would be played by [Linda Ellerbee](http://www.museum.tv/eotvsection.php?entrycode=ellerbeelin). **Ed Zotti** would, of course, be played by [Ed Zotti](http://www.librarything.com/author/adamscecil). **Slug Signorino** would be played by a [feckless illustrator](http://www.slugsignorino.com/homepage.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/117 "2011-09-09T19:32:58Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > With all due respect, dearest, that is silliness. I am an ageless spirit of malice and ice cream; it is as impossible for a mortal to impersonate me as it is for your ilk to look upon my true form without being destroyed. Even my wife must don goggles ere we mate. Beer goggles, I bet. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/118 "2011-09-09T19:53:36Z")
I would like to have Kathy Baker play me. I’ve been told we look similar. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/119 "2011-09-09T19:57:15Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Beer goggles, I bet. I hope you said this as you were putting on sunglasses and in the distance someone yelled, “Yeeaaaahhhhhhhhhh.” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629/120 "2011-09-09T20:06:26Z")
I’d be played by [Sara Rue](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm364943360/nm0749081) back before she lost all that weight. The resemblance [between us](http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/lesschatmorehat/me.jpg) is pretty darn close, actually. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-movie/595629.md?page=7)