# Straight Dope -- the Musical. No, the OPERA! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165 "2002-08-03T12:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/21 "2002-08-05T00:53:45Z")
**Yojimboguy** , you’re on. You’re also our romantic male lead, along with **Ino** and **Elenfair** and **pendgwen** as our female leads. **The time:** The dawn of the industrial revolution. **The place:** The sleepy, agricultural village of Cecily. **The villain:** Agentfroot, representative for Outrageous Gadgets (OG) who has a brilliant plan to “improve” life in the village. Take it away maestro! CJ ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/22 "2002-08-05T01:01:57Z")
Waitasec. ‘young leading man’ … yet I’m cast as a female lead? It’s your vision, sir, but I respectfully request a re-casting as a male character, preferably opposite **Elenfair**. Not for me, you see, but because she seems a little insistent that I have such a role. ---
**Author:** ![greatZebu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@greatZebu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greatZebu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/23 "2002-08-05T03:48:08Z")
I’ll handle the lighting. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/24 "2002-08-05T03:57:22Z")
**cj** : Before Lno can say, it’s L N O, not I N O:) And he’s male. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/25 "2002-08-05T06:10:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimboguy \* > \*\*Let’s not forget Og the Ogre, who lurks outside our village of… ??? > \*\* I’m auditioning for Og. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/26 "2002-08-05T09:27:42Z")
Excuse me – I’m a victim of my own bad phrasing. **Lno** is a male romantic lead, so we’ve got 2 couples plus other assorted interests. Oh, and I’m female. All right! We’ve got a classical Shakespeare plotline – a couple of cases of confused gender! [tenor and boy disguise]My mistress has sent me with a message for you.[/tenor and boy disguise] CJ ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/27 "2002-08-05T09:29:58Z")
Make that young man, please. :sigh: My morning cup of tea should kick in in a minute. CJ ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/28 "2002-08-05T12:21:11Z")
I am a dramatic mezzo-soprano. We are always the jealous rival/ evil influence/ heavy, and never get the guy. (Story of my life. So I’d be typecast; wouldn’t be the first time.) ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/29 "2002-08-05T15:54:45Z")
hmmm, now to find a good villain costume… maybe a bright pink power suit… wait, no, i’d never wear that… i can fake-opera-sing, but it sounds terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/30 "2002-08-05T17:52:52Z")
I will be the giant statue of Il Commendatore that sends venal wrongdoers to hell. _Chi l’anima mi lacera? Chi m’agita le viscere? Che strazio, ohimé, che smania! Che inferno, che terror!_ ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/31 "2002-08-05T17:55:32Z")
I can stand at the side and do the sign language interpreting. It’ll be very _dramatic_ sign language interpreting, I promise. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/32 "2002-08-05T22:07:42Z")
I’ll be the comic relief cook/servant who bakes the twenty-four blackbirds in a pie… ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/33 "2002-08-05T22:16:19Z")
Oooh, can I be a duchess, and stare haughtily through a lorgnette? I always wanted to do that. Unfortunately, I am a contralto…I don’t think we’re allowed to be anything more than chorus members. Guess that typecasts me as one of the Teeming Millions. Can I get at least _one_ smartass driveby remark? I’m a girl, so you can’t cast me as **handy** … ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/34 "2002-08-05T22:29:14Z")
I want the part of _Sir Edward of Zottiland_. Please? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/35 "2002-08-05T23:24:55Z")
I’m too shy to be on stage. What? Quit lauhing! I’ll make the costumes… I’ve got lots of experience with gawdy garments. Just ask my mother-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/36 "2002-08-05T23:50:06Z")
Here is the refrain the chorus shoud sing troughout the show: _Oh Cecily, oh Cecily! No one shalt mess with Thee! Our village square, Our maidens fair, Our menfolk brave and free._ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/37 "2002-08-06T13:32:11Z")
::: peers from her balcony at lno, hiding in the shade below ::: Ah! tu sais que la nuit te cache mon visage! Tu le sais! si tes yeux en voyaient la rougeur! Elle te rendrait témoignage De la pureté de mon cœur! … LNO, STOP CHUCKLING, DAMNIT! (for the curious, that’s Gounod, Roméo et Juliette) E. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/38 "2002-08-06T14:20:07Z")
:: snicker :: Devant Dieu qui m’entend … bwahahaha … je t’engage ma foi! No, no, Elly, I’m not laughing AT you! Wait, I can do this, let me try it again. Devant Dieu qui m’en… No, I’m laughing too much. One sec. I need a danish. Where the hell’s that danish boy? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/39 "2002-08-06T22:30:30Z")
Oh **Coldfire** , you’re needed on the set! ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165/40 "2002-08-07T00:48:16Z")
(Pssst, **cjhoworth** , **Coldfire** is Dutch, not Danish.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical-no-the-opera/122165.md?page=3)