# Straight Dope: the Musical **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 21, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060 "2007-02-21T05:35:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/21 "2007-02-22T20:02:03Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] I, too, think there should be a big fight scene between Creationists VS Evolutionists. And lottsa viking hats and pointy spears. [/QUOTE] [Elmer Fudd] Kill the WABBIT! With my spear and magic Helmet!! [/EF] ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/22 "2007-02-22T20:10:13Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] [Elmer Fudd] Kill the WABBIT! With my spear and magic Helmet!! [/EF] [/QUOTE] Yea!, we made it back to Wagnerian Opera. I was of course thinking of Kill the Wabbit when I posted. 😃 As background to the musical, should we have a deadly blimp flying around and randomly attacking people? That could work well with Flight of the Valkyries. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/23 "2007-02-22T20:25:22Z")
A 1920s style death ray, set on “extra toasty”, will be unleashed upon any audience members who dare to heckle the show with demands for a cite. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/24 "2007-02-22T22:08:38Z")
At some point in the plot, penis **must** ensue! ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/25 "2007-02-23T01:45:52Z")
CITE! CITE! CITE! You just might Want To Provide a single CITE! For your claims most outrageoius Are they lies, quite egregious Simple proof of others wit Will surely boost your case a bit! CITE! CITE! Need it now Tell us all exactly how Your claim that bats are birds Is not supported by just your words Your evidence has some holes, And makes us think of useless trolls CITE! CITE! Give us one before we abuse you just for fun Silly claims with no foundation Make a myth of your creation Adam and Eve is a real good tale But give us proof to make the sale CITE! CITE! Not faith or trust In your words, doubt we must For we simply must insist a background check must exist of your claims of design, intellegent something real, true and maybe elegant CITE! CITE! The need for proof May make us seem cold and aloof But if you can provide some link Perhaps , just then your ideas won’t stink All we need and want is a CITE To prove your musings more than right CITE! CITE! Cecil knows it No claim can be completely shite To show you know of what you speak the Internet; vast and wide, go seek Join us now, you citeless dunce In our fight on ingnorance! My appologies for the bad scanning, use of caps, and such, for some reason, I hear “the Anvil Chorus” as I read it… suggestions, improvements and such are always welcome Regards FML ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/26 "2007-02-23T02:00:29Z")
I highly suspect the costumes are going to involve lots of sequins. Lots and really lots of sequins. This production might actually require a BeDazzler Mistress\*, in addition to the Costume Mistress. - And I will fight **Draelin** to the _death_ for the honor, I tell you whut. _The **death!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/27 "2007-02-23T03:35:10Z")
[QUOTE=rockle] - And I will fight **Draelin** to the _death_ for the honor, I tell you whut. _The **death!** _ [/QUOTE] It’s okay, sweetie, I belong on the stage, anyway. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/28 "2007-02-23T12:47:37Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] It’s okay, sweetie, I belong on the stage, anyway. 😉 [/QUOTE] _Spoilsport._ PLUS, who’s to say I won’t end up on stage? I can sing some and dance some – I could start out as an extra in one of the big production numbers, and end up with my own, spectacular, BeDazzled showstopper. Like in “42nd Street,” or “Showgirls.” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/29 "2007-02-23T14:50:25Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] It’s okay, sweetie, I belong on the stage, anyway. 😉 [/QUOTE] Darling! We’ll sing that duet at last… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/30 "2007-02-23T15:04:08Z")
[QUOTE=Kizarvexius] Darling! We’ll sing that duet at last… 😉 [/QUOTE] Ah, yes–that timeless ballad, “How _You_ Doin’?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/31 "2007-02-23T15:15:14Z")
We’ll need backdrop pictures of kittens and breasts. 🆒 The programme should include a clear legal statement about not giving medical advice during the performance. There will be three types of seating: - boxes for Charter members - balcony for members - the rest occupied by guests ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/32 "2007-02-23T16:16:32Z")
Cecil…people who need Cecil… Are the most ignorant PEE-pullll…in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/33 "2007-02-23T17:13:33Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] [Elmer Fudd] Kill the WABBIT! With my spear and magic Helmet!! [/EF] [/QUOTE] Spear and magic helmet? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/34 "2007-02-23T17:25:20Z")
Here’s a snippet from a song in _The Sound of Cecil_: D’oh! A smack, a Homer-esque smack :smack: Ray, of nineteen-twenties style Meh, a post I don’t care for Fa, a bannee’s long exile So, a word heard in GD voi-LA, my cites I will now show Tea, list favorites in CS That will bring us back to D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! When you know the facts to cite You can join the ignorance fight ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/35 "2007-02-23T18:09:22Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Spear and magic helmet? [/QUOTE] Here you go: [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051189/quotes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051189/quotes) Elmer Fudd: I will do it with my spear and magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: Your spear and magic helmet? Elmer Fudd: Spear and magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: Magic helmet? Elmer Fudd: Magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: [aside to audience, cynical] Magic helmet. Elmer Fudd as Siegfried: Yes, magic helmet and I’ll give you a sample. [summons lightning that strikes Bugs] Bugs Bunny: Bye. [quickly runs off] Elmer Fudd as Siegfried: That was the wabbit. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/36 "2007-02-23T18:11:29Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Here you go: [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051189/quotes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051189/quotes) Elmer Fudd: I will do it with my spear and magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: Your spear and magic helmet? Elmer Fudd: Spear and magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: Magic helmet? Elmer Fudd: Magic helmet. Bugs Bunny: [aside to audience, cynical] Magic helmet. Elmer Fudd as Siegfried: Yes, magic helmet and I’ll give you a sample. [summons lightning that strikes Bugs] Bugs Bunny: Bye. [quickly runs off] Elmer Fudd as Siegfried: That was the wabbit. [/QUOTE] Michael Gebert, former film critic for AOL and the editor of The encyclopedia of Movie Awards, said in the book that if he were in charge of doling out awards, “What’s Opera, Doc?” would have gotten Best Picture for 1957, as it is the greatest cartoon ever made. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/37 "2007-02-23T18:23:27Z")
[QUOTE=scotandrsn] Michael Gebert, former film critic for AOL and the editor of The encyclopedia of Movie Awards, said in the book that if he were in charge of doling out awards, “What’s Opera, Doc?” would have gotten Best Picture for 1957, as it is the greatest cartoon ever made. [/QUOTE] Congress may have agreed. It was the first cartoon selected for the National Film Registry. [In animation historian Jerry Beck’s 1994 poll of animators, film historians and directors, this cartoon was selected as the #1 cartoon of all time.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051189/trivia) I agree it is the greatest short ever made, not as sure about greatest cartoon. Jim ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/38 "2007-02-23T18:45:37Z")
I’d like to see them work in a staging of the big musical number, _Hacksaw!_ ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/39 "2007-02-23T19:11:42Z")
I heard they did this musical once… in the… ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060/40 "2007-02-23T23:08:14Z")
You’d have to pay $14.95 to get in, but then there’d still be ads at the bottom front of the stage, and every now and then the actors would freeze on stage and just when the audience members were at the limits of their frustration, they’d start moving again. But it would be pretty wonderful anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-the-musical/393060.md?page=3)