# Straight doper males - have you ever masturbated with another man? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047 "2009-12-04T23:40:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/41 "2009-12-07T02:39:27Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Was that guy gay, though? I cannot possibly imagine a straight guy inviting another guy into the sauna and then initiating a jerk-off session. Unless there was a porno movie playing, or a naked woman dancing behind a glass wall or something, I don’t think straight men typically go into a sauna and start jerkin’ it. I don’t think he is gay, but he could be somewhere towards the middle of the scale. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/42 "2009-12-07T03:07:21Z")
Nope. Never did it, don’t know anyone who ever claimed to do it. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/43 "2009-12-07T03:17:35Z")
Nope. Never even considered it, although there was rude and kidding talk of “circle jerks” amongst some of my peers (but not in my inner circle) in high school. Snickers ensue. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/44 "2009-12-07T03:20:49Z")
Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/45 "2009-12-07T14:54:32Z")
Read _The Real Animal House: The Awesomely Depraved Saga of the Fraternity That Inspired the Movie_, by Chris Miller about his Dartmouth days in Alpha Delta Phi. You probably won’t eat for a week. “Depraved” doesn’t begin to describe it. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/46 "2009-12-07T15:40:28Z")
Although I’m gay, my best friend isn’t. We shared many happy jerk off sessions (with even the occassional blow job) until well in our twenties. He has a girlfriend now, so it doesn’t happen anymore (and I would now probably be weirded out by it). I have had full on sex with another straight friend when we were around 18 or so, and were both high on E. I had a straight roommate for a few years and walked in on him a few times while he was wacking off. He just shrugged and finished, while I went on collecting the laundry. Of course I looked, of course I got hard, but it wasn’t the type of guy to suggest to if I could join in (and I’m not a shy person). He just accepted that this is what guys do and shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/47 "2009-12-07T15:43:09Z")
No. Invited once but I declined. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/48 "2009-12-07T15:50:13Z")
No, never heard of it, and I don’t think the idea ever occurred to me until I read it on this message board. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/49 "2009-12-07T17:09:49Z")
I’ve heard the rumors that guys do this but I’ve never seen it nor known anyone who would admit to doing it. I think us straight guys figure that is how you catch the gay in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/50 "2009-12-07T18:12:11Z")
I too have always figured (and have read the same in scholarly works on sex (well,l not “scholarly” per se, but excluding stroke mags and the like), as well as novels (a scene in Steven King’s “It” comes to mind)) that this was a “rite of passage” for teenage boys (and girls too), same sex-experimentation while remaining unequivocably straight. What I’m about to share acutally should be cross-posted to the “secrets about yourself” thread, as for the past 25 years or so, until I press the “send” button, only myself and the other person involved has known about this. Back when I was a teenager (14-16 or so), over the course of many occassions, the kid next door that was a year or so older than me (and who I used to hang out with a lot because he had an Atari and I didn’t) and I used to experiment with mutual masturbation, as well as blow jobs and (as **Aghris** puts it), full on sex. I’m sure both of us thought of it as nothing more than experimentation, as we both at the time, and still do, consider ourselves fully straight. I still used to sneak peeks at my dad’s Playboys, and he used to fantasize about the neighbour lady on the toehr side of me that was a total knockout. None of us ever had an attraction to other men, and we both wound up happily married to females. I never thoguht much about it at the time, while I knew it wasn’t something to blab to anyone else about, lest I be labelled a “fag” (Lord knows I had enough labels in my life at that point), I also knew it wasn’t something that was unusual, or that made me “queer” at all. This is probably why I’m quite surprised to see the reaction from most on the thread, I’ve always assumed that other straight guys either had some innocent experimentation in their youth, or were aware that innocent experimentation went on in their neighbourhood even if they didn’t take part. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/51 "2009-12-07T18:46:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Back when I was a teenager (14-16 or so), over the course of many occassions, the kid next door that was a year or so older than me (and who I used to hang out with a lot because he had an Atari and I didn’t) and I used to experiment with mutual masturbation, as well as blow jobs and (as Aghris puts it), full on sex. I’m sure both of us thought of it as nothing more than experimentation, as we both at the time, and still do, consider ourselves fully straight. You were having an ongoing sexual relationship with another man but you consider yourself “fully straight”? Where do you feel the dividing line of “at least a little bit gay” begins? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/52 "2009-12-07T19:35:11Z")
Yeah, I’ve never done anything close to Thomas because it is kinda gay, while I am not. Full on sex? That’s very gay. Reminds me of an episode of the Norm Mcdonald show. Norm gets a power to read mens minds. The first gay: “I need a new screwdriver. I wonder if that means I’m gay?” Second guy: " I have to clean my house. I wonder of that means I’m gay?" Last guy:“I had sex with another man again last bight. I wonder if that means I’m gay?” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/53 "2009-12-07T19:35:53Z")
I don’t get that either. Same with the “straight” guys that **Aghris** had sex with. If they’re having sex with guys, they’re not “fully straight,” by strict definition. Obviously there is some kind of same-sex attraction going on there. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just not correct to call it “straight.” I would have been grossed out by the thought of “experimenting” with any of my male friends as a teenager. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/54 "2009-12-07T19:42:43Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Yeah, I’ve never done anything close to Thomas because it is kinda gay, while I am not. > > Full on sex? That’s very gay. > > Reminds me of an episode of the Norm Mcdonald show. Norm gets a power to read mens minds. The first gay: “I need a new screwdriver. I wonder if that means I’m gay?” Second guy: " I have to clean my house. I wonder of that means I’m gay?" Last guy:“I had sex with another man again last bight. I wonder if that means I’m gay?” So many typos, damn auto correct. “Thomas” should be “that”, the first gay" should be “the first guy” and “last bight” should be “last night”. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/55 "2009-12-07T19:48:41Z")
No, I can’t imagine a situation where anyone I know would have either. To be fair when I was living in the dorms I occasionally rubbed one out when my roommate was in the room asleep. I would assume that he did as well since he once got a bj while I was in the room talking to him. Even when I was watching porn with other guys I never jerked it or saw other doing it either but I’m sure we all took care of ourselves once we were alone. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/56 "2009-12-07T19:51:42Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Not interested. I doubt that I even could, it would just sort of weird me out. Exactly my response. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/57 "2009-12-07T19:54:54Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > You were having an ongoing sexual relationship with another man but you consider yourself “fully straight”? Where do you feel the dividing line of “at least a little bit gay” begins? Because I never had a sexual attraction to him or any other man. I’m guessing it’s like those gay men who marry women and have children just because they feel they have to appear as straight - well not exactly like that, I don’t know, hard to describe, but since I don’t feel myself as attracted to men, I don’t see myself as gay at all. When we were dating my wife asked me once if I was a virgin, and I felt I could answer “yes” to her honestly, since I didn’t see the above incident as anything sexual, jsut “youthful curiosity/experimentation” with someone I wasn’t even attracted to. Yeah, I know this will open up a lot more “but you can’t say you’re straight” remarks, especially since I can’t fully define it, but I see sexual orientation as something that you define yourself as, something you’re wired to be. My wiring doesn’t tilt for penises. Simple. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/58 "2009-12-07T20:04:00Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Negative. Never knew anyone that said they did, either. My experience as well. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/59 "2009-12-07T21:56:38Z")
I mess around with guys from time to time and consider myself straight. I cannot bring myself to kiss a man or love a man. I draw the line at being gay as the ability to love the same sex and or have a relationship. What I do is just purely sexual kicks. CAll it gay if you like. I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047/60 "2009-12-07T22:06:58Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Call it gay if you like. I don’t care. Um, OK. That’s gay. But only a little gay, so you’re still in the het club. Not that you care. 🙂 Re: the OP: no, never. I have only ever masturbated in the presence of a female, and even then, I try to get her to do the heavy lifting because I’m a lazy bastard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-males-have-you-ever-masturbated-with-another-man/520047.md?page=4)