# Straight Doper men - are you ALWAYS flattered when a woman is hot for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377 "2011-07-09T02:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/41 "2011-07-12T12:05:14Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > My question is this … do guys get an ego boost from ANY (legal) woman wanting them? Yes! Hell, I’ve gotten an ego boost from gay men hitting on me. Anyone finding me attractive is flattering to me whether I am into them or not. Of course, if I’m not into them and they keep at it, it would get annoying. But initially? Yup. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/42 "2011-07-12T13:06:49Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Yes! Hell, I’ve gotten an ego boost from gay men hitting on me. Anyone finding me attractive is flattering to me whether I am into them or not. A number of years ago I had weight loss surgery, and I lost a metric buttload \ of poundage. The first dozen or so that hit on me were gay guys. I was simultaneously flattered and annoyed, not so much by the idea of dudes wanting me, but where where the babes? ETA: One old guy walked straight up to me and grabbed my package on a public beach… The wimmin made up for lost time, eventually, but none grabbed my crotch. ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/43 "2011-07-12T13:10:57Z")
Odds are I wouldn’t even know. If, somehow, I did - I think I’d be flattered. But I either don’t notice flirting, or I interpret it as something else (just being nice, etc.). My wife likes to make fun of me for this. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/44 "2011-07-12T14:53:56Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > I am flattered if the I am attracted to the woman. I am uncomfortable when I’m not - because I know it stings to be rejected. I was going to say that it’s always flattering until I read this comment and realized that it also applies to me. ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/45 "2011-07-12T17:12:45Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > For some reason women who are much older than me have been attracted to me ever since I was a teenager, which is a long time ago. In many cases I wasn’t at all flattered. Ha, my husband gets this. He’s a few years older than me but looks at least ten years younger than his age. And the cougars just _flock_ to him, if you’ll excuse the mixed anthropomorphic metaphor. If we’re in a bar or cocktail club and I go off for a few minutes, it’s inevitable that when I come back there will be a woman 20 years his senior trying to buy him a drink. He’s always awkward about someone being hot for him, though, so I’d say he’s no more or less comfortable than any other time a woman or a man hits on him. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/46 "2011-07-14T18:25:42Z")
I imagine it depends on how often a person receives attention from their preferred sex. As a female who hardly ever gets hit on, I would be very flattered to be checked out unless it was a scary crazy homeless guy, or someone with a weapon. Even one time when I got "holla"d at in the parking lot of a liquor store from the passenger side of his best friend’s ride (those are song lyrics, but I’m not even joking), I found it flattering. Danger isn’t flattering, obviously, but I’m not somehow magically offended if someone finds me attractive but doesn’t happen to be attractive to me. I imagine for a person who gets hit on constantly, it’s more tiresome than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/47 "2011-07-14T19:07:55Z")
The _concept_ of a woman being “hot for me” would almost always be flattering. Obviously her actions could sour me to the idea. I’d assume most women would be less than excited if [generic hunk celebrity] started mailing them boxes of rabbit heads as a token of his eternal, undying, and not-to-be-denied affections. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/48 "2011-07-14T19:19:26Z")
> [@beartato](#): > > Ha, my husband gets this. He’s a few years older than me but looks at least ten years younger than his age. And the cougars just _flock_ to him, if you’ll excuse the mixed anthropomorphic metaphor. If we’re in a bar or cocktail club and I go off for a few minutes, it’s inevitable that when I come back there will be a woman 20 years his senior trying to buy him a drink. He’s always awkward about someone being hot for him, though, so I’d say he’s no more or less comfortable than any other time a woman or a man hits on him. My wife says it was my beard (almost always bearded since a teenager). I don’t get it. I wouldn’t say it was unflattering so much as disappointing at a time when I was younger and not getting much action from women my own age, and having older women who were not particularly attractive rubbing up against me. Now that I’m almost 100 (rounding up), I’m kind of flattered anytime someone is attracted to me. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/49 "2011-07-14T19:21:38Z")
Not enough data points to come to a conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/50 "2011-07-14T19:23:51Z")
This is by no means universal. I mean, just look at all the men who react with horror at the very idea that a fat chick might think they are hot…there is this meme in pop culture that fat chicks are all sexually deprived so they’re all ready to rape any man around. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/51 "2011-07-14T22:05:20Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > A couple weeks ago I was waiting for a train, and I caught a woman checking me out pretty blatantly. She then turned around and screamed obscenities at the empty platform on the other side for a good minute. That was not particularly flattering. …I actually just did a coffee spit take. Thank you for the laugh. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/52 "2011-07-14T23:20:04Z")
It doesn’t happen much, always flattering initially. ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/53 "2011-07-15T00:39:58Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > I think some posters are mixing up two things here. > > For me it’s always flattering for a woman to be attracted to me. That’s not the same thing as saying it is always a net positive and doesn’t come with problems. I was going to say that this was the most succinct statement of how I feel. But then came this: > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Always flattered. Not always pleased. FTR, Christine, when you blatantly hit on me while my wife was standing next to me, it was a bit uncomfortable. But still flattering. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/54 "2011-07-16T23:45:52Z")
No its not always flattering, I’ve had this happen to me several times and it can be creepy and irritating. If it was Jennifer Anniston though I expect that I’d just try and make the best of it. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/55 "2011-07-20T09:31:11Z")
I’m pretty much consistently too oblivious to notice. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377/56 "2011-07-20T13:37:36Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > This is by no means universal. I mean, just look at all the men who react with horror at the very idea that a fat chick might think they are hot… Which men are these? I don’t know any of them, and I know a lot of guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-doper-men-are-you-always-flattered-when-a-woman-is-hot-for-you/588377.md?page=2)