# Straight folks: How many gay people are you friends with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716 "2009-11-07T14:52:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/21 "2009-11-07T19:43:04Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I simply don’t know the degree of gayness of many casual acquaintanes. What’s a degree of gayness? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/22 "2009-11-07T19:50:26Z")
None that I’m aware of. ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/23 "2009-11-07T20:14:02Z")
None that I can think of. I have a very small social circle though, so there aren’t that people people; gay, straight or otherwise, that I would have over for dinner. At my regular bar, one of the bartenders is gay and we drink and BS a lot, but I don’t foresee having my bartender over for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/24 "2009-11-07T20:21:08Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > What’s a degree of gayness? Theater arts major. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/25 "2009-11-07T20:25:19Z")
Two in this town. They’re a couple, though, so I’m going to count them as one. Then there are two others who I don’t live near anymore, but we are still very good friends and talk at least weekly. If you expand to people I kind of know and like and talk to sometimes, maybe four. Casual acquaintances, I don’t know. Much like Sunspace, I don’t know the “degree of gayness” of everyone I kibbitz with by the water cooler. Edit: Miller, you get the prize! ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/26 "2009-11-07T20:31:30Z")
I live and work in Fort Lauderdale, which has a thriving gay population, so I’d say about half a dozen. They’re all people from work (but, then again, I’m a workaholic, and my entire social network involves work), but it’s sort of become a tradition to go to the sports bar downstairs from the office on Friday’s. My girlfriend’s lifelong best friend is also gay, and I’ve long expected that one of my good friends from college will come out one day. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/27 "2009-11-07T20:50:40Z")
Only 4. It used to be a lot more, but when my wife and I had kids our social life changed a LOT. Now the overwhelming majority of our friends are also parents. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/28 "2009-11-07T20:54:39Z")
None: but I have no freinds in the sense of the OP. The only people I go out with or spend time with outside of work or church are my husband and kids. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/29 "2009-11-07T20:56:09Z")
None that I know of, though most of my friends aren’t straight either, and are somewhere along the bisexual spectrum. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/30 "2009-11-07T21:16:54Z")
27, female, married, conservative town in the South, and I’m probably either friends with or casually acquainted with 85% of the gay community around here. My eldest son’s godfather is gay, and I expect to attend his wedding next year. My (female) best friend is bisexual. So, lots. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/31 "2009-11-07T21:25:12Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Theater arts major. I cracked up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/32 "2009-11-07T21:54:05Z")
None. It’s just happenstance. All of my circle of friends and acquaintances happen to be straight. (ETA: As far as I’m aware) ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/33 "2009-11-07T22:05:16Z")
I have about 6 or 7 really close friends and 4 of them are gay/lesbian. I know and have met a lot more gay people than that though of course. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/34 "2009-11-07T22:36:47Z")
I had to stop and think since they’re friends - not my gay friends. 3 pretty close lesbian friends. 4 pretty close gay male friends. Pretty close meaning they’ve been to my home and I’ve been to their homes. We hang out socially and speak on the phone or email regularly. I have a bunch of gay/bisexual buddies that I may have hung out with but have never visited at home. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/35 "2009-11-07T23:15:49Z")
None in my area, unfortunately. I moved 2,000 miles away a mere 6 months ago and the only people we have hung out with are couples. My best friend all through Jr. High and Highschool was gay, and I still consider him a “friend” even if we are so far away. Of his two partners, I only get along with one. The other is obnoxious tbh (he is one that is very, very rude to service people). In college I met this awesome lesbian that I spent some time hanging out with (and drank a lot of beer with). She had a huge group of friends that were awesome (not all were gay), and her SO was cool as hell. Other than that, I don’t know. Some of the people I’ve hung out with in college might have been gay, but I didn’t ask, and I’m not the type that is always "Huhhuh, she’s hot ya? so it doesn’t come up all the time. Neither I or my wife would not hang out with a couple because they are gay… however we tend to only hang out with couples because we enjoy hanging out with each other and single friends can feel awkward around us. (is that weird?) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/36 "2009-11-07T23:23:08Z")
Ahem…“some of my best friends are gay” ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/37 "2009-11-07T23:29:48Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > Neither I or my wife would not hang out with a couple because they are gay… however we tend to only hang out with couples because we enjoy hanging out with each other and single friends can feel awkward around us. (is that weird?) You’ve lost me on this. Gay people come in couple form, too. My girlfriend and I used to have her friend and his boyfriend over for dinner all the time, and we went to the science museum one afternoon with a gay couple; it was sort of an afternoon double date, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/38 "2009-11-07T23:33:21Z")
Yes, we don’t have any gay couple friends atm, but they would qualify. What I’m saying is single gay people fall under the same category as single straight friends. Not saying they wouldn’t happen, but we prefer couples as friends, gay or straight. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/39 "2009-11-07T23:38:20Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > And by “friends with,” I mean “know well enough to have a couple of beers and/or a dinner party with.” Honestly, I don’t know if I have _any_ friends that close, by that definition. As for the gay qualifier…I have no idea. Not that I know of, aside from the few I know to be married to or dating people of the opposite sex. And _they_ might just be bisexual, for what that proves. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716/40 "2009-11-08T01:05:31Z")
I don’t know. I don’t care and don’t see any reason to ask. It’s their business and has nothing to do with anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-folks-how-many-gay-people-are-you-friends-with/516716.md?page=3)