# Straight Getting Married to one of Twins girl **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2015, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593 "2015-04-02T05:03:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/81 "2015-04-07T10:15:47Z")
> [@kiranlove](#): > > no way You need to work on your sense of humor. Chicks dig a guy with a self-effacing sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/82 "2015-04-07T11:41:43Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > You need to work on your sense of humor. Chicks dig a guy with a self-effacing sense of humor. You’re interacting with a relatively young and perhaps naive person from a different society with different standards of humor who doesn’t have a perfect command of English and is unfamiliar with this board’s culture. Lecturing him about humor isn’t going to be very effective. Indeed, if you want to avoid misunderstanding, it’s probably advisable to lay off the jokes. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/83 "2015-04-07T11:45:15Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > Not aiming to fan the flames here, but this thread got me thinking a bit (which can be a dangerous thing…) > > I have never been in a relationship with an identical twin, but I could imagine some of my feelings of closeness and attraction for my wife getting unintentionally transferred to her twin. After all, they look alike, are genetically identical, and may have quite similar personalities. So it is not impossible that I might find myself with more feelings for the twin than I might otherwise have for a non-twin sister-in-law. > > And if I were a jealous type, imagining some other guy sleeping with the twin might be a bit unsettling. Might. > > Just some idle conjecture… > [@kiranlove](#): > > ooooooooooooo Do try not to get distracted by every bit of nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/84 "2015-04-07T12:32:18Z")
**kiranlove** , only out of curiosity, why did you choose to ask advice on this message board, specifically? There are many smart people on this board, but very few of them know much about Indian culture, and almost none have any experience with arranged marriage. Almost everyone here is from the United States or Europe, so everyone here thinks that it is important to get to know your soon-to-be wife (since it would be very unusual here to marry someone you weren’t already extremely close to). Also in these countries, it would be considered strange if someone was concerned about his wife being a twin. It’s just not something we worry about. So, most people here are going to give you similar advice. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/85 "2015-04-07T14:18:41Z")
I think you’d be surprised to discover how many of the board’s denizens are Indian (though to be fair most of us are non-resident Indians or just “Indian by descent.”) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/86 "2015-04-07T14:37:14Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > Not aiming to fan the flames here, but this thread got me thinking a bit (which can be a dangerous thing…) > > I have never been in a relationship with an identical twin, but I could imagine some of my feelings of closeness and attraction for my wife getting unintentionally transferred to her twin. After all, they look alike, are genetically identical, and may have quite similar personalities. So it is not impossible that I might find myself with more feelings for the twin than I might otherwise have for a non-twin sister-in-law. > > And if I were a jealous type, imagining some other guy sleeping with the twin might be a bit unsettling. Might. > > Just some idle conjecture… It really doesn’t work like that, in my experience. Here is my experience with twins, and admittedly I’ve never dated them, but I’ve been friends with a few sets. After a few years, \*they don’t even look alike to you anymore. \* You have gotten to know them so well they look different, they have different personalities, and you can tell them apart in a second. So quick, as a matter of fact, you begin to have trouble understanding why other people can’t. You may find your love’s twin physically attractive, but then again you may not. There may be just enough differences - and even identical twins can have different facial markings, scars, acne, etc. - and after all your wife is the one you love. Now what I can see is you feeling either a) extra protective over the twin or b) a little jealous of the twin. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/87 "2015-04-07T16:11:52Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It really doesn’t work like that, in my experience. Here is my experience with twins, and admittedly I’ve never dated them, but I’ve been friends with a few sets. > > After a few years, \*they don’t even look alike to you anymore. \* I agree. Once you are in a close relationship of ant kind with a twin, the other one is just like any other sibling. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/88 "2015-04-07T17:59:42Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > **kiranlove** , only out of curiosity, why did you choose to ask advice on this message board, specifically? I’m curious to have a verified Indian TM validate the turns of phrase kiranlove is using. “How about kids?” “Am not super hero” “ignore that shit” …just don’t seem like how an average Indian with a 75% grasp on English would speak. I talk to Gujaratis on a regular basis, and have lived with a Gujarati with really basic English skills for a significant amount of time, and kiranlove doesn’t seem to use the English language in the same way. I’m sure someone is going to blast me for assuming that there is a standard way for 1.2 billion people to misspeak a second language, but I’m not sure how else to express it. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/89 "2015-04-07T18:12:51Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I’m curious to have a verified Indian TM validate the turns of phrase kiranlove is using. This is exactly what I was hoping for. The phrasing has seemed off to me from the beginning. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/90 "2015-04-07T18:49:13Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I’m curious to have a verified Indian TM validate the turns of phrase kiranlove is using. > > “How about kids?” > “Am not super hero” > “ignore that shit” > > …just don’t seem like how an average Indian with a 75% grasp on English would speak. > > I talk to Gujaratis on a regular basis, and have lived with a Gujarati with really basic English skills for a significant amount of time, and kiranlove doesn’t seem to use the English language in the same way. > > I’m sure someone is going to blast me for assuming that there is a standard way for 1.2 billion people to misspeak a second language, but I’m not sure how else to express it. What the hell do I know but “am not super hero” sounds exactly legitimate to me. And people in India use the word “shit” a distressing amount of time. Shit, shit, shit! It’s crazy - they use it everywhere. It doesn’t sound off to me. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/91 "2015-04-07T18:55:37Z")
There’s nothing off to me either. Understand that not only are there 1.2 billion Indians but that they are immensely diverse. English will be spoken extremely differently by people from different linguistic backgrounds and different kinds of education. Members of my own family don’t speak English the same way. Some sound like Oxford dons. Some rely heavily on things they’ve heard in pop culture. Some translate phrases from another language. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/92 "2015-04-07T19:10:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > What the hell do I know but “am not super hero” sounds exactly legitimate to me. And people in India use the word “shit” a distressing amount of time. Shit, shit, shit! It’s crazy - they use it everywhere. > > It doesn’t sound off to me. You totally brought back a memory of the Gujarati I lived with (RE: shit)! I had forgotten about that. He used it as a standard response to almost anything said to him. We also worked in the same office, and I remember him having an embarrassing conversation with a superior about the overuse of that word. The superior blamed me for using it too much at home, and assumed the Indian guy had picked it up from me. He used it 100% as an exclamation though, never as an adjective or noun like **kiranlove**. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/93 "2015-04-07T19:14:17Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > You totally brought back a memory of the Gujarati I lived with (RE: shit)! I had forgotten about that. He used it as a standard response to almost anything said to him. > We also worked in the same office, and I remember him having an embarrassing conversation with a superior about the overuse of that word. He used it 100% as an exclamation though, and never as an adjective or noun. The superior blamed me for using it too much at home, and assumed the Indian guy had picked it up from me. Yeah, my (non indian) SO was really startled when we were watching a Bollywood romance and, when the guy realizes he’s in love, exclaims, “Shit! I love her!” I had to stop and explain that’s just what they say! My cousins say “Shit!” all the time, right in front of their moms, and it’s not really considered that ‘bad’ of a word. It just means like “Hot damn!” or one of the other silly things we say. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/94 "2015-04-07T19:27:32Z")
When I was a kid growing up in American culture, only “bad kids” cussed. I was shocked to hear my Indian cousins say shit and damn. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/95 "2015-04-07T23:26:52Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > You’re interacting with a relatively young and perhaps naive person from a different society with different standards of humor who doesn’t have a perfect command of English and is unfamiliar with this board’s culture. You really think everything posted in every thread, everywhere, is directed exclusively at the OP of each thread? That’s not been my experience at all. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2015, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/96 "2015-04-07T23:34:35Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > You really think everything posted in every thread, everywhere, is directed exclusively at the OP of each thread? That’s not been my experience at all. Is that what’s happening here? Or was I responding to a post quoting a specific person and addressing him as “you”? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/97 "2015-04-08T00:27:14Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Is that what’s happening here? Huh? It is often the case that posters in threads make comments (frequently quite humorous, though I’m not going to make any claims for my personal comedic ability) directed more at other members of the posting community than at the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/98 "2015-04-08T03:18:25Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Huh? It is often the case that posters in threads make comments (frequently quite humorous, though I’m not going to make any claims for my personal comedic ability) directed more at other members of the posting community than at the OP. Yeah, sure. And it’s also common for posters to directly respond to someone. One of the clues that this might be going on is to quote someone and then begin your response with the word “you.” ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/99 "2015-04-08T04:12:35Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Yeah, sure. And it’s also common for posters to directly respond to someone. One of the clues that this might be going on is to quote someone and then begin your response with the word “you.” Well, I’ll let you be Captain Obvious if I can be your first mate. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kiranlove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/87869e/32.png) [@kiranlove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiranlove)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593/100 "2015-04-15T04:35:47Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > You’re interacting with a relatively young and perhaps naive person from a different society with different standards of humor who doesn’t have a perfect command of English and is unfamiliar with this board’s culture. Lecturing him about humor isn’t going to be very effective. Indeed, if you want to avoid misunderstanding, it’s probably advisable to lay off the jokes. yeah. You guys not aware our culture, society. i See most of them are going down\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* but this is not in practice here. We are traditional and good sense humor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-getting-married-to-one-of-twins-girl/716593.md?page=6)