# Straight guy with a Lesbian Buddy **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082 "2011-10-28T15:56:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/21 "2011-10-28T21:51:48Z")
Regardless of gender and sexual preference, I think it’s weird to sleep in the same bedroom as anybody you’re not dating. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/22 "2011-10-28T22:48:23Z")
You guys must have thought college was the weirdest place ever. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/23 "2011-10-28T23:01:09Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I don’t think I even know any straight women who’ve shared a bedroom with a gay man, and I’ve known straight women who lived in the same apartment as (unrelated) gay men. I’m a straight female, and have or have had friends of all sorts of orientations, but I feel weird sharing a bed with someone I’m not romantically or sexually involved with, no matter who they are. Wait, I just re-read the OP :smack: …he said shared bedroom, not shared bed. So, separate beds, right? That would be fine; I don’t think that’s weird if it’s on a need basis, like a hotel or some other temporary thing. As a regular occurence…would be a bit weird to me. Mainly for “sleep hygeine” reasons. I don’t like a TV on when I’m trying to go to sleep, like to read myself to sleep with the light on, tend to get up earlier in the morning than most people, etc. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/24 "2011-10-28T23:30:12Z")
i have shared a bed with both gay men and women …i am straight no sex was involved … ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/25 "2011-10-29T03:51:24Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > Why is it OK for a woman to have a gay best friend that she spends time with and even share a bedroom with and nothing is expected to happen and it is seen as OK. > > But when I (a single straight guy) and my Lesbian friend spend time together and share a bedroom its seen as weird? Why the double standard. Probably because many guys see lesbians as some kind of “ultimate challenge” that only the guy with the worlds most awesome moves could ever hope to score with. I had a very good friend who happened to be a lesbian. We both ended up getting badly dumped by our respective S/O’s within like a week of each other. We ended up hanging out alot and we were even very affectionate at times including spending a couple nights a week snuggled up sleeping together. We never had sex, or anything much more than kinda kissy cuddly. A mutual friend who had a huge hard on for her showed up at my place sunday morning looking for some tools I had borrowed and totally flipped out when he found her there. He still wont talk to either of us 15 years later because he just _knows_ that we must be screwing each other and that she was lying to him about not dating guys, etc. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/26 "2011-10-29T07:13:04Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > You guys must have thought college was the weirdest place ever. I’m not sure 99% of “college students” are what I had in mind when picturing adults. 😛 I seriously am losing interest in this OP unless he comes back and explains the circumstances by which he either has to share a bedroom with someone he is not in a relationship with, or chooses to (the odder one!) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/27 "2011-10-29T10:54:47Z")
Yes, double standard indeed. Nobody has ever said anything to me about sleeping with my cats and dogs. And they’re not even the same species! ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/28 "2011-10-29T21:45:55Z")
My bud was thrown out of her flat - private reasons - and had nowere to crash - I live in a 2 bedroom flat with my daughter. We share a room - yes sometimes a bed - and yes she is hot - and has a girlfriend - some distance away and work comitments mean she cant stay there during the week. And her girlfriend is aware of me and our situation - no secrets. I dont see it as an issue though. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/29 "2011-10-29T23:14:39Z")
Because everybody knows the lesbian just needs a good fuck to set her straight. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/30 "2011-10-29T23:19:28Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Because everybody knows the lesbian just needs a good fuck to set her straight. Do They??? That rules me out then :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/31 "2011-10-29T23:20:50Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > Do They??? > > That rules me out then :dubious: Well now you do. So go get her tiger. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/32 "2011-10-30T01:11:24Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Well now you do. So go get her tiger. :smack: :smack: :smack: Feel so dumb… Aint going to happen ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/33 "2011-11-01T21:48:44Z")
I twice spent what must have seemed “intimate” time to others with lesbian friends. Of course, neither of them was out yet and I was the beard. One was a teacher, and this was in a place that was not exactly gay tolerant. It was OK, however, for her to have an affair with a supposedly married guy. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/34 "2011-11-01T22:35:07Z")
Whether straight or gay men are generally seen (fairly or unfairly) as the ones who instigate sexual overtures. A hetero man and lesbian woman sharing a bedroom can be perfectly platonic, but the possibly is there that a man might try someting anyway if they get aroused. Being snuggle buddies with an attractive lesbian would be test of will for many men even if they know the woman is not likely to be responsive. The little head doesn’t always listen to the big head. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/35 "2011-11-01T22:58:31Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Whether straight or gay men are generally seen (fairly or unfairly) as the ones who instigate sexual overtures. A hetero man and lesbian woman sharing a bedroom can be perfectly platonic, but the possibly is there that a man might try someting anyway if they get aroused. > > Being snuggle buddies with an attractive lesbian would be test of will for many men even if they know the woman is not likely to be responsive. The little head doesn’t always listen to the big head. Agree with that but we are in no way snuggle buddies. If and when we share a bed - i sleep on top of the covers - which I do even when i sleep alone - love the cold - window wide even in the winter… So its just a sleep thing - Yes I was going to say Honest there but realised it looked dodgy… ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/36 "2011-11-01T23:32:32Z")
My best friend is a straight man and I’m a lesbian. As far as I know, nobody thinks it’s weird. We’ve shared a hotel room, and shared a bed a couple of times when the other bed-spaces in my house were already taken up. I’ve also shared my bed with other friends, straight, gay, male and female. You don’t snuggle up, you just sleep. Just about the only person I wouldn’t share a bed with now is my ex, because we’ve done so many other things in that bed, and I don’t think her GF would like it. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/37 "2011-11-02T09:00:23Z")
Glad for the comments guys good or bad - it helped me with what other people think type of thing. I never see it as weird but having grown up with 3 sisters and having 3 daughters I always feel comfortable in female company and never saw myself as a Alpha male needing to prove myself all the time - I am comfortable in my own sexuality that nothing fazes me - I grew up with an uncle who was gay and open about it and was my mother’s best friend - he was my father’s brother but my mother’s best friend - so I grew up with no hang ups or such. I’m just glad I’m not the only one how does not find it as weird…. ---
**Author:** ![Orionizer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orionizer/32/4442_2.png) [@Orionizer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orionizer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/38 "2011-11-02T14:39:51Z")
I read that title as “Straight guy with a lesbian BODY”. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/39 "2011-11-02T15:16:39Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Well now you do. So go get her tiger. She has a _tiger_? What kind of lesbian is this? ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082/40 "2011-11-02T16:29:17Z")
Just a Kitten really :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guy-with-a-lesbian-buddy/601082.md?page=3)