# Straight guys: how much do you have to dislike a woman for sex to be off the table? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519 "2009-06-30T21:47:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/21 "2009-07-01T01:19:31Z")
> [@kenner116](#): > > Never had sex on the table. Usually on the bed or couch. I have. Works better in concept than in practice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/22 "2009-07-01T01:53:56Z")
No one level would work. Either I’d not hate her enough and strings free sex rules, or I’d hate her enough to give her a [Cleveland Steamer](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Cleveland_steamer) (NSFW), and throw dead rats, chicken blood, and a false “you need to get tested” note in the bed, when she fell asleep. It would be the hottest kinkiest sex she ever had, followed by the worst experience of her life, to forever associate the two. The Tao’s Revenge is a dish best served cold. I guess there could be a window between chica chica bow wow, and scat and dead rats, but it’d be small. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/23 "2009-07-01T02:35:12Z")
> [@Baby\_Driver](#): > > Question (and apologies if I’m breaking up the bro-fest): > > Do guys ever feel like they _don’t_ want to have sex with a willing woman because she’s _too_ attractive? > > Because I personally don’t think I’d feel comfortable having sex with a guy who was a couple standard deviations beyond my attractiveness level. If the offer was on the table, I don’t know if I’d go through with it. I don’t understand. Why would being way more attractive than you make you not want to have sex with someone? I don’t speak for all men but i would be willing to guess “shes too hot to fuck” has never come anywhere near remotedly close to any guys brain. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/24 "2009-07-01T02:58:44Z")
Assuming she didn’t do anything scatalogical in front of me, or smell, or have open sores, or somesuch- and I was single- there’s nothing I can think of that would take sex off the table. Seriously - she could yell “white power!” and club baby seals the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/25 "2009-07-01T03:04:10Z")
I’d need to respect and like a person to sleep with her. Someone I was ambivalent about or disliked, no chance. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/26 "2009-07-01T03:33:19Z")
> [@Baby\_Driver](#): > > Because I personally don’t think I’d feel comfortable having sex with a guy who was a couple standard deviations beyond my attractiveness level. If the offer was on the table, I don’t know if I’d go through with it. That’s because most women think “Do I look fat right now?”, or “God, my breasts are sagging”, or somesuch at least once when sleeping with a new guy (and possibly with a non-new guy), and those issues are going to be on your mind even more if your victim/partner has 2% body fat and muscled teeth and so on. We men don’t have those body issues, even if we’re fat or incredibly hairy or ugly or whatever; once you’ve seen us naked and not run away, we figure it’ll be okay. Instead, we wonder if you like our signature technique, or if the liquor will catch up with our erection, or whether our roommate will come home while you’re climaxing, or whatever - none of which will be affected by how hot you are. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/27 "2009-07-01T03:46:47Z")
I’m gonna say this is partialy “age dependant”. When I was 18-25, I would have hit Nancy Pelosi. Then or now. :eek: 25-32: “Eh, shut up for just a second and let’s get on with it…” Damn near anything (female) with a moist (or moistenable oraface) 33-40: “Well, sure I like you! Its just kinda hot right now! Maybe later…” And if it was Famke Jannsen or ‘whoever was hot back then’, I’d have meant it. 40+ :“Yeah, sure, I still love you. Get me another beer, would ya?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/28 "2009-07-01T03:50:27Z")
If I am attracted to her, sex is never off the table. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/29 "2009-07-01T03:53:24Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Seriously - she could yell “white power!” and club baby seals the whole time. Any ambivalence is she were cheating? On someone who was a stranger? A friend? Myself, I’m always a no on dislike grounds. Dumb as a rock, but sweet-natured would be tolerable. Bigoted seal-clubber? Nope :). ETA: 'course I’m over 40 now, so the testosterone levels may be drying up a bit ;). ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/30 "2009-07-01T03:57:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Any ambivalence is she were cheating? On someone who was a stranger? A friend? Hey now, this is no strings attached. Therefore (that doesn’t look spelled right) cheating is a nonissue. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/31 "2009-07-01T04:01:41Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Hey now, this is no strings attached. Therefore (that doesn’t look spelled right) cheating is a nonissue. Ah, yes - I overlooked that bit of the OP. Adultery is an automatic no for me ( morality aside, it is potentially wayyyy too messy ), so that trumps everything else. But you’re right, I’m violating the terms of the hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/32 "2009-07-01T04:01:50Z")
It depends on how much I have to talk to her beforehand. Say she’s a really hot version of Ann Coulter. I don’t mind that she’s evil, I will still give her a good hate-fuck. But if I have to listen her spew her bullshit for, say, fifteen minutes before she lets me stick my cock in her mouth to shut her up, then I just might get sick and walk out. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/33 "2009-07-01T04:03:19Z")
> [@HowieReynolds](#): > > It depends on how much I have to talk to her beforehand. Say she’s a really hot version of Ann Coulter. I don’t mind that she’s evil, I will still give her a good hate-fuck. But if I have to listen her spew her bullshit for, say, fifteen minutes before she lets me stick my cock in her mouth to shut her up, then I just might get sick and walk out. It’s possible that I’m just crazy, but I found this post alarmingly hilarious. I am sure the ladies are loving this rare look inside a male’s mind. 😉 EDIT: I had completely forgotten about The Hate Fuck. Damn, this might invalidate my whole first post. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/34 "2009-07-01T05:22:41Z")
Given the conditions you pose, there’s nothing a woman could do or say that would make me decline sex. Having sex and feeling “emotional antipathy” are entirely separate things. Well, OK. I guess if she murdered my whole family I might think twice about it. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/35 "2009-07-01T05:29:00Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > I once went to a party where I struck up a conversation with this hot girl. Towards the end of the evening, and after a few drinks on her part, she started telling me how the spics and the wetbacks and the sand niggers and so on and so on, were all ruining the country and how they should all go back to where they came from etc, etc. > > I’m Puerto Rican but look caucasian. I hated myself in the morning for it but you better believe I rocked her world that night. So, to answer the OP, as long as she’s willing to throw down with me I’m always game. See, that’s where you leave a note on the pillow in the morning–“Just FYI, but that guy whose name you were saying last night? He’s a ‘spic’ from Puerto Rico. Neener neener neener! XOXOX, Your Latin Lover”. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/36 "2009-07-01T05:32:23Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > So, what would it take for you not to want to plow a woman like no tomorrow? Just off the top of my head, I’ll go with killing my mother, setting my house on fire, getting me fired from my job, or cleaning out my bank account. Although, with enough time passing, I think I could set my feelings aside and muster up the ability to fuck her, if only out of pure hatred. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/37 "2009-07-01T06:00:25Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Seriously - she could yell “white power!” and club baby seals the whole time. Now there’s a sex tape that I don’t need to see. > [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well, OK. I guess if she murdered my whole family I might think twice about it. Can I just say that I love that you put the qualifier “whole” in there? Awesome. My answer? I think the OP has too many preconditions to make it meaningful. I mean, she’s hot, nobody has any commitments, no consequences, you’re stranded on a tropical island covered in tequila bottles, of course no man is going to say no, even if she’s a really awful, terrible, bunny-stewing person. Hell, I’d _help_ Megan Fox kill and bury my cat and make fun of my sister. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/38 "2009-07-01T06:30:12Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > My answer? I think the OP has too many preconditions to make it meaningful. I mean, she’s hot, nobody has any commitments, no consequences, you’re stranded on a tropical island covered in tequila bottles, of course no man is going to say no, even if she’s a really awful, terrible, bunny-stewing person. Hell, I’d _help_ Megan Fox kill and bury my cat and make fun of my sister. So tell us what it would take before you wouldn’t have sex with a completely willing and single female. EDIT: Or if you’re still incapable of thinking in hypotheticals, give us an example from your life where you _did_ turn down a completely willing and single (or not) female. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/39 "2009-07-01T06:44:19Z")
# 1 : Irrelevant when it comes to sex. # 2 : Well, it really depends on what the disagreement is about. If it’s something like the blatant racist mentioned earlier, I’ll be too pissed off to think about sex. If she goes on about chakras or how she goes to church every Sunday, I won’t respect her but that’s no barrier to sex. # 3 : Not a chance. I wouldn’t even want to be alone with her much less have sex with her; that’s exactly the sort of woman who might decide that it would be entertaining to lie about being raped just to watch me suffer. It’s a matter of needing a bare minimum of trust. Most women aren’t the sort to make up such lies; but someone who’s openly and gleefully malignant like that ? She just might. # 4 : I’d hate them AND distrust them. I don’t want to get naked with someone who might decide to graduate from dog killing to murder. Nor would I be in the mood. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/40 "2009-07-01T06:53:55Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > We men don’t have those body issues, even if we’re fat or incredibly hairy or ugly or whatever We don’t? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519.md?page=3)