# Straight guys: how much do you have to dislike a woman for sex to be off the table? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519 "2009-06-30T21:47:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/41 "2009-07-01T07:01:55Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > So tell us what it would take before you wouldn’t have sex with a completely willing and single female. > > EDIT: Or if you’re still incapable of thinking in hypotheticals, give us an example from your life where you _did_ turn down a completely willing and single (or not) female. Hey! I can think in hypotheticals. I’m just having a hard time coming up with disqualifiers. Here is my list: 1. Illness, mental or physical. Obviously, if she’s mentally ill, she can’t consent. Also, if she’s is puking her guts out or has the flu and looks miserable, then that would probably be a no, too. It has to be a BAD flu. 2. Violent criminal. Murderers, face-slashers, acid-throwers: all off the table. Money launderers, meth cookers, bank robbers? No prob. 3. Ummm, well…seems to me…the thing to do is… Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to Tequila Island with Ms. Fox… ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/42 "2009-07-01T07:23:44Z")
I’m not a straight guy, I’m a bisexual female, so maybe my opinion doesn’t count for anything: I’d sleep with someone I disliked, but not someone I hated. I think that’s what separates ‘killed a pet’ and ‘humiliated a beloved relative out of pure sadism’ from major disagreements and personality incompatibilities. Hot people who are jerks are why God invented condoms. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/43 "2009-07-01T11:00:07Z")
I think the only thing deterring me from sex with someone I hate is the possibility that I may very well be stabbed in the kidney while I sleep. That kind of Teh Crazy needs to be avoided at all costs.\* The obvious solution is to do it at her place and leave before falling asleep. \*unless it’s Isla Fisher from Wedding Crashers. I would bang that like the Tunguska Event. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/44 "2009-07-01T11:24:18Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > Hell, I’d _help_ Megan Fox kill and bury my cat and make fun of my sister. Ah, foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/45 "2009-07-01T13:15:54Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > We don’t? :dubious: Read the rest of my post. ---
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/46 "2009-07-01T13:29:03Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > That’s because most women think “Do I look fat right now?”, or “God, my breasts are sagging”, or somesuch at least once when sleeping with a new guy (and possibly with a non-new guy), and those issues are going to be on your mind even more if your victim/partner has 2% body fat and muscled teeth and so on. Basically, yeah. I don’t like it if the guy’s only prereqs are convenient and…moist. I’d rather be with someone I’m less\* attracted to, but who’s practically giving himself a high-five for getting me into his bed. \*Within reason. A Seth Rogen look-alike is not within reason. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/47 "2009-07-01T13:37:30Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > No one level would work. Either I’d not hate her enough and strings free sex rules, or I’d hate her enough to give her a [Cleveland Steamer](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Cleveland_steamer) (NSFW), and throw dead rats, chicken blood, and a false “you need to get tested” note in the bed, when she fell asleep. It would be the hottest kinkiest sex she ever had, followed by the worst experience of her life, to forever associate the two. The Tao’s Revenge is a dish best served cold. > > I guess there could be a window between chica chica bow wow, and scat and dead rats, but it’d be small. What he said. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/48 "2009-07-01T13:37:35Z")
[quote=“Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright, post:26, topic:501519”] We men don’t have those body issues, even if we’re fat or incredibly hairy or ugly or whatever; once you’ve seen us naked and not run away, we figure it’ll be okay. QUOTE] Men can’t be fat. Only fat chicks can be fat. -Peter Griffin, Family Guy Clearly the OP is not familiar with the concept of “hate fucking” someone. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/49 "2009-07-01T14:50:18Z")
I think #4 might be my line but even then it would depend on how long ago she did it and how she did killed him. But I think anything short of massive physical harm to my friends and family I would have my pants off before the offer was finished (even then the time between events would matter). Now off to read the thread. I’m 26 by the way. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/50 "2009-07-01T15:05:40Z")
I’ll echo the general sentiment on the four options in the OP. 1 and 2, no problem. 3 and 4, no way. I don’t do the hate fuck thing, because then I would feel like a desperate tool that had to settle and could not find someone whom I actually wanted to pleasure. It’s the same reason I don’t subscribe to the Mark Grace Slump Buster school of thought regarding women I don’t find attractive. Part of the appeal for me… most of it, in fact… is \*wanting \*her so bad I fantasize about it to the point of utter distraction. If I hate her or don’t find her attractive I’m not going to spend much time thinking about her when when her hot nonpsycho friend is right over there… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/51 "2009-07-01T17:53:37Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > I’m not a straight guy, I’m a bisexual female, so maybe my opinion doesn’t count for anything: > > I’d sleep with someone I disliked, but not someone I hated. I think that’s what separates ‘killed a pet’ and ‘humiliated a beloved relative out of pure sadism’ from major disagreements and personality incompatibilities. Hot people who are jerks are why God invented condoms. 😛 I didn’t append “out of sadism” to my condition of “humilated a beloved relative” possibility. And if it were a truly beloved relative, I wouldn’t. Someone could have humiliated my little sister for entirely valid reasons and I’d still probably hate them certainly wouldn’t fuck them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/52 "2009-07-01T17:54:40Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Clearly the OP is not familiar with the concept of “hate fucking” someone. Sure I am. I just don’t do that any more. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/53 "2009-07-02T19:18:15Z")
After I say that #1 and #2 wouldn’t put the brakes on the zipper, I’ll bypass the list. I passed over a sweet young thing because she was “flighty.” As in, I didn’t think she could keep her mind on one thing long enough to have an orgasm. A “warm, wet hole to put it in” is not enough for me. I need to know she’s a participant. If she didn’t come, I didn’t have a good time. Some of you have talked about angry sex. If you ever have the opportunity to have sex with a woman who is pisto about the way she was treated by an ex or her present guy, don’t pass it up. There’s an enthusiasm and a reckless abandon that is not to be missed. She’s gonna give it to somebody, and it might as well be you. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/54 "2009-07-02T19:28:26Z")
I guess I’m just old fashioned… I’d wait until we were married and that would rule out anyone I didn’t like a whole lot. (Admittedly, I did sleep with my wife before we were married, but that was more than a year into dating). And, in case anyone asks, I have had the opportunity to say no to several potential partners who were clearly willing. When I was dating in high school, it was the girl pressuring me to have sex. ---
**Author:** ![Stormcrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@Stormcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stormcrow)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/55 "2009-07-02T19:43:36Z")
I was thinking there was probably an inverse bell curve that would graph the answer to this question, and after reading the thread, I believe I am correct! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/56 "2009-07-02T20:11:03Z")
Given the OP’s parameters, 1 and 2 are no problem - “C’mere, honey!” 3 and 4 are problems, though, and I’d pass. I’d probably be too mad at her to even want to be in the same room with her. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/57 "2009-07-02T20:26:35Z")
I’m 42 so these days I’m more easily aroused by stimulating my brains than my eyes. Physical hotness, therefore, doesn’t really affect me. Oh I’ll look. But I also will stop traffic to get a look at an exotic car or anything that is just the right shade of magenta with absolutely no desire to own said item. I don’t have to dislike a woman to not want her. Not actively “liking” her is enough to keep me involved in whatever else I’m doing. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/58 "2009-07-02T20:52:25Z")
None of the listed options. I’d have to at least like her a little. If anonymous sex counts as neutral, I’d have to at least pretend that I could like her. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/59 "2009-07-02T21:53:35Z")
When I was much younger I was in a hottub with a hot woman who pissed me off and I told her to get dressed and go home. I’m not sure I would do that today… But you never know. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519/60 "2009-07-02T22:20:48Z")
2.5 - basically, 2 + crazy/violent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-how-much-do-you-have-to-dislike-a-woman-for-sex-to-be-off-the-table/501519.md?page=4)