# Straight guys in relationships: do you cover the expenses of meals and other outings with your mate?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 24, 2013, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766 "2013-06-24T07:38:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Neodymium\_Lover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neodymium_Lover)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/1 "2013-06-24T07:38:44Z")
All in the poll.
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/2 "2013-06-24T07:51:03Z")
I pretty much always pay. I prefer it that way.
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### Author:  [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/3 "2013-06-24T09:52:17Z")
It depends. Sometimes I pay, sometimes she pays, sometimes we split the bill in the restaurant. Sometimes someone grabs the bill and says “my treat”. We earn about equal money, so this works well for us in feeling like equal partners in the relationship. I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable with someone paying for me all the time, and I wouldn’t be comfortable paying al the time either.
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/4 "2013-06-24T10:08:25Z")
Married 25-plus years. When we go out, it usually comes out of my wallet. Both our paychecks go into the same bank account, so we have no 'it’s my money" nonsense - all our income is our money.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/5 "2013-06-24T11:05:53Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#):
>
> Married 25-plus years. When we go out, it usually comes out of my wallet. Both our paychecks go into the same bank account, so we have no 'it’s my money" nonsense - all our income is our money.
Same here, except for the fact that we’ve been married 15 years (as of today!), and my wife usually pays, as I don’t like carrying cash.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/6 "2013-06-24T11:08:09Z")
Depends. We base it on who has more money, who’s idea it was, is it a special day, etc.
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### Author:  [@crucible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crucible)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/7 "2013-06-24T12:05:10Z")
Women who ‘go out’ have to spend a lot more money getting ready to go, clothes, hair, adornments, etc. to make the evening pleasant for their escort. Men? shower, throw on the duds, remember to bring the wallet.
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### Author:  [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/8 "2013-06-24T12:10:08Z")
My boyfriend and I usually trade off paying. I make more than he does, so I try to pay a bit more often. That way it evens out.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/9 "2013-06-24T12:15:11Z")
My gf and I have “an arrangement”. She makes great money, but I’m not a pauper either. We are living in a house she owns. She pays all utilities and general “bills”, and I pay for “fun”. So I pick up restaurant checks. I pay for our vacations. She buys groceries, but I stop at the grocery store often and pay for whatever I get. I pay for booze. She pays for horse feed, hay, birdseed, etc.
Works for us.
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### Author:  [@half-elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/half-elf)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/10 "2013-06-24T12:22:34Z")
> [@crucible](#):
>
> Women who ‘go out’ have to spend a lot more money getting ready to go, clothes, hair, adornments, etc. to make the evening pleasant for their escort. Men? shower, throw on the duds, remember to bring the wallet.
They have to?
:dubious:
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/11 "2013-06-24T12:34:14Z")
It’s all the same money in our case but usually he puts out his credit card or whatever. Occasionally I pay, like on his birthday. Like I said, the money’s coming from the same place but it’s just a little tiny convenience on his birthday, not having to take out his card, etc.
Twice, very long ago, someone gave him flack about letting me pay. “You’re going to let the girl pay?” Whatever.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/12 "2013-06-24T12:37:24Z")
I’m married now, so we pool our money, but back in the day when I dated, yeah, I always paid and would have rather not gone out at all than to go Dutch.
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### Author:  [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/13 "2013-06-24T12:39:56Z")
I paid when I was a dopey teenager fumbling around with my first girlfriend. She also liked things “just so,” so I imagine that even if I had said “Hey, let’s split this one,” I would have gotten a no.
Since then it was all splitting all the time. And if I found myself unmarried today, it would be the same.
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### Author:  [@FuriousGeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuriousGeorge)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/14 "2013-06-24T13:34:43Z")
Always, with very rare exceptions for specific reason (eg ocassionally my birthday or some other sort of “me”-centered event)
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### Author:  [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/15 "2013-06-24T13:40:19Z")
Haven’t been in a relationship for a couple of years, but at the time my girlfriend and I would switch off. It wouldn’t really be planned, it would be more of a “I got this one” when the check came.
Of course, we were long distance, so usually she would pay more when I visited her and I would pay more when she visited me. We tried to be cognizant of the other having spent money to fly in.
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### Author:  [@hkepotat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hkepotat)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/16 "2013-06-24T13:43:51Z")
If I ask a girl out, I pay. I am the one imposing upon her time, asking her to do this thing with me rather than something else, or with someone else. The least I can do is not impose upon her finances as well.
If things go well, and we start dating, then things usually change, usually more of a dutch style. If she picks a date night and place, I don’t feel the obligation to pay her part (though I will if she actually expects it (though that relationship may not last long)).
I am also an excellent cook, so I always prefer doing that anyway, and solves the whole “who pays?” problem.
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### Author:  [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/17 "2013-06-24T13:47:39Z")
Together for 17 years and married for almost 11. I am the only one who is currently earning money (he now and again makes some doing home improvement/construction jobs, but I’m the primary paycheck) and all our money is OUR money. But if we’re at a restaurant or bar, he pays. He uses his debit card which he has me fill out the paperwork for e.g. tip and total (because of his eyesight - mine is less worse than his) or he pays with cash.
He’d rather not go “out” out unless he’s “paying”. If it’s McDonald’s or something like fast food - I usually leave him in the car and just run in myself and pay myself. It’s easier. And he’s kinda cranky. I figure it’s a better experience for the cashiers if he stays in the car. 😃
When we first met, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and had just started “dating”, he always paid. But that was many years ago - and he was working steadily (but he was also almost twenty years younger. Construction can be a bitch on your body. ☹ )
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/18 "2013-06-24T13:54:10Z")
> [@half-elf](#):
>
> They have to?
> :dubious:
They don’t “have” to. Women can certainly choose to look like shit.
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/19 "2013-06-24T13:54:29Z")
We pool our resources so it never matters who physically pays. If he happens to have the right amount of cash on him, he pays. If not, I pay because it’s my name on the card.
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### Author:  [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2013, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-guys-in-relationships-do-you-cover-the-expenses-of-meals-and-other-outings-with-your-mate/661766/20 "2013-06-24T14:06:18Z")
> [@Alessan](#):
>
> Same here, except for the fact that we’ve been married 15 years (as of today!), and my wife usually pays, as I don’t like carrying cash.
Happy anniversary!
We put it on the credit card, and all our expenses get paid out of the same income. So I guess no, I don’t cover meals and outings - we cover meals and outings.
Regards,
Shodan
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