# Straight male straight dopers - how many men have you danced with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038 "2003-08-22T22:58:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/1 "2003-08-22T22:58:31Z")
I was at the friday night ballroom dance (it’s not sad where we are, honest), and there was a great shortage of ladies. Pete and I managed a quickstep together. I have iirc once before, mainly as a bit of a laugh, which makes it twice out of three years… Is it normal for anyone? Would anyone never do it? Have you? Did anyone ask if you were gay? At what - it’s little deal in random club bopping, but way out there for some dances 🙂 I seem to get some sort of thrill from breaking a social convention. Am I odd? Am I repressing something (irony)? For that matter have you ever asked a man to dance? Did you get punched? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/2 "2003-08-22T23:06:03Z")
Men danced with - none. women danced with… well, um, none. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/3 "2003-08-22T23:09:41Z")
{{Lobsang}} Learn! It’s fun! OK, I’m lucky to have a good club where I am. You have anything near you? Salsa? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/4 "2003-08-22T23:11:15Z")
I barely dance with women. Never have with a guy. I hope to avoid dancing for the rest of my days. ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/5 "2003-08-22T23:15:04Z")
Last winter I was dancing with a few male friends at a nightclub … thought it would be funny to leave the dance floor and see how long it took them to realize they were girl-less. I estimate they were off the dance floor within about 10 seconds!!! Here in small-town Canada at least, guys just do not dance with guys. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/6 "2003-08-22T23:15:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\* > Is it normal for anyone? Would anyone never do it? Have you? Did anyone ask if you were gay? Am I odd? Am I repressing something (irony)? For that matter have you ever asked a man to dance? Did you get punched? \*\* Who cares. Yes No NA Who cares (you shouldn’t) No NA See, this stuff is so easy when you follow the guy rule of “no dancing with other guys”. Whistlepig ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/7 "2003-08-22T23:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\*{{Lobsang}} Learn! It’s fun! OK, I’m lucky to have a good club where I am. You have anything near you? Salsa? \*\* You know, it occurs to me (after seeing you mention clubs for dance types) that there are two types of dance (well there are more than two, but you’ll see what I mean)… dancing (a) - moving in a hopefully sexual manner whilst in the vicinity of a member of the desired sex (opposite or same) in time (hopefully) with the music currently playing. dancing (b) - expressing/releasing your creativity using body movement as your medium. The former I can never see myself doing. (I am so self aware that I would just see it as moving about randomly for the sake of appearing to be ‘dancing’ in order to please the unlucky girl I am with) The later I feel I have, deep down, the grace and elegance to pull off in such a way that people will say - “he’s the greatest dancer”, but which I will never do because of the layers and layers of insecurity, self-awareness, self-doubt, and the lack of self-esteem (It’s the drink talking. I know I’ll regret this tomorow.) ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/8 "2003-08-23T00:04:18Z")
Whoops. I meant ‘club’ as in ‘society’ not as in ‘night club’. My bad. We dance in the church hall 🙂 I know nothing about club dancing either, I was thinking about something more regimented like salsa, where you’re supposed to enjoy dancing by dancing with a partner, and since you need a partner, you can just ask someone. It’s cool. > [@](#): > > The later I feel I have, deep down, the grace and elegance to pull off in such a way that people will say - “he’s the greatest dancer”, but which I will never do because of the layers and layers of insecurity, self-awareness, self-doubt, and the lack of self-esteem Have you tried getting drunk? ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/9 "2003-08-23T00:19:47Z")
I polka at wrestling tournaments with my teammates, but in all fairness, that’s not really dancing. It’s mostly a way to scare the referees. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/10 "2003-08-23T01:11:52Z")
none. I don’t really hang out in a whole lot of places where people dance, and even fewer places where the music is conducive to dancing _with_ someone. So it’s never really come up. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/11 "2003-08-23T01:14:46Z")
I danced with my best male friend at his wedding reception. I live in a part of the country that’s fairly narrow-minded. I enjoy shocking the locals. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/12 "2003-08-23T01:29:03Z")
I slow-danced with a gay friend at my wedding, and quite a few times with other friends just because it was funny. Never really had any other occasion to, though I wouldn’t care if it came down to it. Danced with lots of ladies on many occasions. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/13 "2003-08-23T01:34:30Z")
Counting tonight? …none ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/14 "2003-08-23T05:59:07Z")
Well, it probably depends on where you’re doing the dancing. When I was in college, I didn’t know how to dance, and I found myself at a party where there were no unattached women, so I asked a gay friend of mine to teach me how to dance. It was great! I learned how to dance without the pressure of trying to impress a woman, and he got to scope out the room for guys to hook up with while not looking desperate (he was a **shy** gay man, you see). ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/15 "2003-08-23T10:08:16Z")
I am reminded of a lot of old war movies where the soldiers danced with each other during parties because there are no women around. (_Stalag 17_ is the first film to come to mind.) If they could do it in an old macho '50s movie, well… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/16 "2003-08-23T15:17:25Z")
Do you count that boring line-dance thing the military makes every young soldier do? All that hup, two, three, four, and present arms, and dress-right-dress…what a dopey dance, but lots of guys have done that with other guys. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/17 "2003-08-23T16:42:10Z")
None, but I wouldnt mind “club”-ish dancing with other guys, as long as the music’s good. Sure beats not dancing at all, and IMHO, doesnt look as dorky as dancing alone. Wouldnt ballroom with another guy though, to repressed. ---
**Author:** ![Susanann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Susanann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susanann)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/18 "2003-08-23T23:48:34Z")
I dont think that men can dance without “sexual overtones” being implied. Women can dance with women just because we like to dance and it doesnt mean anything. I cant think of any female who has not danced with another female at one time or another. But it looks stupid for straight men to dance with men, and I think “straight men” think it is pointless to dance with other men. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/19 "2003-08-24T00:41:38Z")
There you go again. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038/20 "2003-08-24T01:01:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Susanann \* > \*\*I dont think that men can dance without “sexual overtones” being implied. > > Women can dance with women just because we like to dance and it doesnt mean anything. I cant think of any female who has not danced with another female at one time or another. > > But it looks stupid for straight men to dance with men, and I think “straight men” think it is pointless to dance with other men. \*\* I’ll agree that’s the vastly prevalent view, but I think we’ve shown here it’s not universal. I can’t say I don’t normally prefer dancing with a woman, but dancing with a man’s not completely pointless. ‘It looks stupid for straight men to dance with men’ - you mean that’s what men think, or what women think, or what you think, or all three? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-male-straight-dopers-how-many-men-have-you-danced-with/197038.md?page=2)