# Straight men - do you mind the idea of gay men being in the shower with you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020 "2008-11-16T19:06:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/21 "2008-11-16T22:30:44Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Let me put it in more general terms - if someone is checking you out in a way that is totally undetectable, you can’t tell but they’re doing it, would that bother you? If you can’t tell they’re doing it, it can’t bother you. Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/22 "2008-11-16T22:38:59Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Seriously, I’m flattered when anyone, of any orientation, faith, etc…is appreciative of anything of mine for any reason. I’m flattered if a dog humps my leg. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/23 "2008-11-16T22:52:01Z")
I’m bothered more by the existence of it than the idea of it. Why? I have my [reasons](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33540). ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/24 "2008-11-16T22:54:33Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Let me put it in more general terms - if someone is checking you out in a way that is totally undetectable, you can’t tell but they’re doing it, would that bother you? Or is it just obvious oggling that does? What **RickJay** said. But really, this goes back to whether or not you’re comfortable with a gay man hitting on you. I’ve had that happen once and basically, in my head I was like “I am so hot!”, but my mouth was trying to stay very neutral because I didn’t want to give this poor guy the wrong idea. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/25 "2008-11-16T22:54:57Z")
If someone I knew was gay was checking me out, yes definatly. In a gym shower, I would not really care, as said there my point is to shower, soap, shower and out. It depends on context, if the setting is a club where I am being propositioned, er yes. On a beach, yes. In a gym or in a professional setting; no. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/26 "2008-11-16T22:58:52Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > If you can’t tell they’re doing it, it can’t bother you. Think about it. I agree, but **IntelSoldier** doesn’t. Hence the reason I started this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/27 "2008-11-16T23:01:25Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Let me put it in more general terms - if someone is checking you out in a way that is totally undetectable, you can’t tell but they’re doing it, would that bother you? Or is it just obvious oggling that does? If I don’t know about it, it can’t possibly bother me. I’m thinking about a possibly analogous situation with mixed sex changing - it’s pretty likely that there would be a significant level of checking out happening in changing rooms or showers where lots of men and women were simultaneously present - and I reckon the existence of separate changing facilities seems to support the notion that it’s OK to be concerned about it. So I guess it would be OK to be concerned about same-sex checking out too. Except I just can’t be bothered. I have no shame, really, and any propriety I appear to exhibit in this matter is almost entirely done for the benefit of others, not myself. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/28 "2008-11-16T23:14:42Z")
I wouldn’t make a fuss about it, but I would (to be honest) not be as comfortable taking a shower with gay men as I would with hetero men. For whatever reason gay men would try to hit on me when I was in college and several times after that in social situations when I was single. I am pro-gay rights re lifestyle choices, full marriage rights etc. but being viewed and aggressively approached as a sexual object by men was a squirm inducing, and uncomfortable experience. I have no illusions that my 50 year old hairy chested manliness would be inciting a sword fight, but being naked on front of gay men would not be my preferred scenario if I had a choice. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/29 "2008-11-16T23:24:40Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > One thing that bothers me about straight homophobic people is the assumption that gay people find them attractive. Isn’t that presumptuous? As a straight person, I don’t find every woman attractive, and I’m bothered when a woman assumes that just because they have two X chromosomes I want to get in their pants. All of the gay guys I’ve known are very particular, so I think if there was a stereotypical reaction at most gyms in America among gay dudes, it would be “yuck.” I can understand why this presumption might cause bother, but in the context of nakedness in a changing room, _the mere possibility of interest_ is enough to warrant separation in the case of men and women. I don’t find all women attractive, but I’ll be in trouble if I saunter into their changing rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/30 "2008-11-16T23:27:14Z")
I don’t think I would mind. My narcissistic ass would probably be flattered to be checked out. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/31 "2008-11-16T23:59:41Z")
When I shower, I always take my glasses off so if anyone did check me out, I wouldn’t know about it. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/32 "2008-11-17T00:06:35Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I have no illusions that my 50 year old hairy chested manliness would be inciting a **sword fight** , but being naked on front of gay men would not be my preferred scenario if I had a choice. Heh. Interesting choice of words 😃 For me, no - I used to work out at the SF YMCA so I’m pretty sure that there were a number of gay guys there. I really did not give a hoot in terms of using the locker rooms, showers and saunas. Never experienced anything inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/33 "2008-11-17T00:32:12Z")
Oddly, I have never given it a thought. Having just thought about it, I would not mind. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/34 "2008-11-17T00:37:47Z")
As long as he can resist the monumental temptation of trying to penetrate my sweet, sweet ass, then no. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/35 "2008-11-17T00:47:00Z")
I’d worry only that they don’t find me hot. Then, I’d feel fat, pale, and insecure. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/36 "2008-11-17T00:55:31Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I’d worry only that they don’t find me hot. Then, I’d feel fat, pale, and insecure. Yeah, it’s pretty much exactly the concerns I’d have changing in front of straight women. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/37 "2008-11-17T00:56:27Z")
I used to go to a gym that was about 90% gay men. I’ve spent a lot of time in the shower with gay men. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, it’s a heck of a compliment if you get hit on in the shower. Ego strokes aren’t necessarily a bad thing… ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/38 "2008-11-17T01:08:17Z")
It would only bother me if he expressed some kind of sexual interest in me. But given the right circumstances, even that might not bother me. Never had a gay experience, but a blow job is a blow job is a blow job, right? ⭕o:o ETA : I should say that I do NOT and WOULD NOT do a communal shower unless I lost a very significant amount of weight, so the odds of me getting a locker room beej are nil. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/39 "2008-11-17T01:13:09Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > My shower is fairly small, only about 9 square feet, so I don’t think it would be much fun with 15 guys in there. If there was only one other man, and he happened to be gay, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t see why he couldn’t just use the guest shower or at worst we could take turns in the shower. I think the OP is talking about a communal shower, like at the gym or High School locker room. In a 9-square foot shower, I’d be uncomfortable with ANYONE in there… Joe ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/40 "2008-11-17T01:16:39Z")
If I minded, I wouldn’t have a Y membership. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020.md?page=3)