# Straight men - do you mind the idea of gay men being in the shower with you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020 "2008-11-16T19:06:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/61 "2008-11-17T11:06:42Z")
I don’t want to shower with any men, gay or straight. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/62 "2008-11-17T11:21:14Z")
I won’t be in a communal shower at all if I can help it, but if I were, gay guys wouldn’t bother me. I’m sure they’re used to ignoring fat, hairy, pale straight guys. (I understand I’d be considered a “bear” if I were gay. Is that a good thing?) I was in a communal shower once as the only male; but that was kind of a special circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petrobey_Mavromihalis)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/63 "2008-11-17T12:19:34Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > I was in a communal shower once as the only male; but that was kind of a special circumstance. You were on your own? To answer the question: I’m not a huge fan of communal showers generally as I normally only go naked with my nearest and dearest, but I’m not uncomfortable because there might be gay men there. I’d never join the army though, as I hear it’s full of queers. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/64 "2008-11-17T12:53:44Z")
> [@Hippy Hollow](#): > > One thing that bothers me about straight homophobic people is the assumption that gay people find them attractive. Isn’t that presumptuous? As a straight person, I don’t find every woman attractive, and I’m bothered when a woman assumes that just because they have two X chromosomes I want to get in their pants. All of the gay guys I’ve known are very particular, so I think if there was a stereotypical reaction at most gyms in America among gay dudes, it would be “yuck.” _Thank_ you. On the other hand: > [@Khadaji](#): > > Even if I had the kind of body that gay men might want You’d be surprised. > [@Napier](#): > > Yeah, well, this is kind of a tough one. As Billy Crystal’s character in “When Harry Met Sally” said, “No, you pretty much want to nail them too.” To be much more accurate and fussy about this one, women should assume that just because they have two X chromosomes we _probably_ want to get in their pants. Not that I approve of this kind of want, mind you. The thing is, Nature doesn’t care if sex is incredible, it only cars you think it is going to be. So you’re attracted to _every_ woman you meet? _Every one?_ Even the saggy old hags, the ones with limbs missing, the ones with weird, not-quite-symmetrical faces? The ones who look just like your mom? You want to have sex with _every single woman_? > [@Spiny Norman](#): > > I suspect that there were gay guys in high scholl - and we showered after gym, no exceptions. (Not doing so would be - disgusting. Yuk.) > > I know that a few of the guys in my platoon were gay. No-one gave a hoot. Don’t tell **Shayna** or she’ll get all hot and bothered! Seriously, though: is the predominant hetero thinking on this topic substantially different in Denmark? I’m given to understand that public nudity is not considered as big a deal over there, so are straight men less neurotic about this? ---
**Author:** ![accidentalyuppie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@accidentalyuppie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/accidentalyuppie)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/65 "2008-11-17T17:21:59Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > My shower is fairly small, only about 9 square feet, so I don’t think it would be much fun with 15 guys in there. If there was only one other man, and he happened to be gay, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t see why he couldn’t just use the guest shower or at worst we could take turns in the shower. This reminds me of something that happened at a party I went to last summer. My friends don’t care too much about this sort of stuff, which is why there were multiple naked guys in a household shower, although it was one of those fancy high-end rich folk showers. The wife of the straight guy in the shower was a little perturbed when the gay guys started telling her how hot her husband’s butt was though…but she’s a judge and sometimes she can be a tad stodgier than the rest of the bunch. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/66 "2008-11-17T20:52:47Z")
Don’t mind the thought that someone in the room may be gay. What I do mind is the times I have been hit on by gay men, in public locker rooms. Do others like having their crotches grabbed at by random men when they are trying to change for the pool? I don’t. And hearing guys getting it on in the toilet stalls was annoying too. I just stopped going to the pools where that happened. Fortunately that was in college, a long, long time ago. These days I swim at a local rec center. I hadn’t really thought about whether gay folks were staring at my wrinkly old ass until now - thanks a lot. I am a little concerned about that one creepy guy that is always in the locker room, always naked, all the time, every time I am there. Until now I just assumed he was a pedophile. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/67 "2008-11-17T21:03:16Z")
I wouldn’t care. I’d be more worried that the homophobic redneck standing next to me might think I was fancying him and beat me up, tie me to the back of his 4x4 and drag me down th road. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/68 "2008-11-17T21:07:27Z")
Having been shy about communal showers since I was a lad, the idea of _anyone_ being in the shower with me bothers me. Sexual orientation really isn’t a factor in that equation. I would just worry about blinding everyone in the room. If you need proof, I’ll just point out that my wife didn’t need glasses when we first got married. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/69 "2008-11-18T03:10:31Z")
I don’t think I’d care, but I also have no expectation of being in a communal shower anytime soon. I can’t think of a possible reason why I would be in one. If there’s a gay guy in the shower with me, he’s got some explaining to do. ---
**Author:** ![oliversarmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@oliversarmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oliversarmy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/70 "2008-11-18T04:18:57Z")
No. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/71 "2008-11-18T04:52:59Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > If you need proof, I’ll just point out that my wife didn’t need glasses when we first got married. The first thing that went thru my mind reading your post…your wife finds you so unattractive that she has to take matters into her own, uh, hands…and although she isn’t blind yet, she now needs glasses… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/72 "2008-11-18T06:37:24Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > The first thing that went thru my mind reading your post…your wife finds you so unattractive that she has to take matters into her own, uh, hands…and although she isn’t blind yet, she now needs glasses… > > 😃 I like the way you think, although methinks I should be watching my wife a bit more closely now… ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/73 "2008-11-18T06:47:19Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > I don’t communal showers, but when I’m in one, I’m assuming everyone is doing what I’m doing - cleaning up and getting the hell out. I don’t spend a lot of time looking around at other dudes, so unless someone is boring a hole through my genitalia with their eyes, I wouldn’t even notice someone looking in my direction. > > One thing that bothers me about straight homophobic people is the assumption that gay people find them attractive. Isn’t that presumptuous? As a straight person, I don’t find every woman attractive, and I’m bothered when a woman assumes that just because they have two X chromosomes I want to get in their pants. All of the gay guys I’ve known are very particular, so I think if there was a stereotypical reaction at most gyms in America among gay dudes, it would be “yuck.” When I was in college, I met a female sergeant in the Army who pretty much voiced this same viewpoint in regards to gays in the military: That most of her male comrades had little to worry about in regards to gay men, or anyone else, finding them attractive.😃 ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/74 "2008-11-18T06:53:13Z")
I suspect that if you are already immodest enough to be nude in front of a group of strange men, that they might like what they see is a minor extra hassle. The first time I was in a (naked) communal shower, I had blue pubic hair! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/75 "2008-11-18T06:53:58Z")
It wouldn’t really bother me, (as long as he didn’t sing too off-key while singing in the shower.) ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/76 "2008-11-18T07:17:30Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > Seriously, though: is the predominant hetero thinking on this topic substantially different in Denmark? I’m given to understand that public nudity is not considered as big a deal over there, so are straight men less neurotic about this? As far as I can tell, there’s less drama over it. Communal showers are pretty much par for the course in elementary school and high school. Before getting in the water at a public swimming pool, you’re expected to wash down in the open-plan shower (without swimming trunks). It’s just the way it’s done. And although compulsory military service is now becoming a thing of the past, many still have tried barracks life for a part of their formative years, and that is certainly not an environment that allows much in the way of privacy. Public nudity is certainly frowned upon if there’s an overt sexual component to it - but if it’s just practical, who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/77 "2008-11-18T12:59:57Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Seriously, grow up; gay men are not in a frothing frenzy to see your firehose, nor is seeing the vast majority of women naked going to be especially titillating unless you have an improbably number of fetishes. Sorry, but here I must object. As a gay man myself, I can tell that there are not many perks we can enjoy. Showering with your buddies is luckily one that we can. So yes, you are being ogled, at least by me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/78 "2008-11-18T13:37:30Z")
Makes zero difference to me. I’ve showered in high school gym, high school sports, college dorms, and gyms in adult life. As the OP suggests, I’m sure I’ve showered with dozens if not hundreds of gay men over the course of that time. Yet despite my smoldering good looks and manly physique 😃 , nothing objectionable has ever ocurred. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/79 "2008-11-18T13:49:50Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I like the way you think, although methinks I should be watching my wife a bit more closely now… If she’s a babe, can I watch, too? 😃 > [@jackdavinci](#): > > The first time I was in a (naked) communal shower, I had blue pubic hair! Not that I really care, but…I’ve just gotta ask…unh, were you dyed for a play? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020/80 "2008-11-19T22:21:23Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > The only thing that annoys me about changing rooms is that gay people get to get an eyeful of what they like to see. While straight people are separated where they _can’t_ get an eyeful of what they like to see. > > People are outraged at even the thought of genders mixing in a bathroom or changing area. But not at orientations mixing. A double standard that I wish was corrected so I could ogle naked women at will. I’m with GuanoLad! I work at a University! Man, if I could saunter into the women’s locker room, I’m not sure I would ever leave. Those gay folks sure are lucky. But no. I wouldn’t give a shit if a gay guy was in the shower. I go to the gym every day, and I am certain I have been in the shower with several. But since I’m a 41 year old Irish male of absolutely NO Italian dissent (if ya know what I mean) with about ten pounds to lose, I’m pretty sure they aren’t there to look at me. Sigh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-men-do-you-mind-the-idea-of-gay-men-being-in-the-shower-with-you/473020.md?page=5)