# Straight people - does the notion of showering with a gay person bother you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469 "2012-02-01T22:12:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/1 "2012-02-01T22:12:11Z")
This comes from a few places - one of them is a youtube video that I watched earlier that talked about the “issues” facing the army following the end of DADT, namely straight soldiers having to share shower and changing spaces with gay colleagues :eek: But, also, and I mean this in a totally non-judgemental way, I’m interested to know if this is something that bothers the average straight person. The simple truth is that in a group shower, if there is a gay man or woman there then, yes, there is a chance they may be oggling you, although hopefully they’ll be doing it subtly so you don’t notice. I can’t deny that’s going to happen, and I can understand that not everyone likes the idea of that, but then that must be balanced against the right of gay people to not be herded into a separate changing room in some kind of sexuality apartheid. So, I wanted to run this poll and ask people with a series of nuanced responses to the question how they felt about this, rather than make it a simple yes/no. **PLEASE** if you are someone who hates sharing a shower with anyone at all then DON’T vote in here, it will skew the results. I’m specifically looking for people who are fine in shared showers but specifically have an issue doing so with a gay individual there. Poll to follow and it is anonymous. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/2 "2012-02-01T22:20:45Z")
The idea of showering with other people of _any_ persuasion bothers me. I don’t think them being attracted to me would make it any worse. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/3 "2012-02-01T22:25:50Z")
Nah, no issues. Shared showers, dressing rooms and nekkid hot-tubbing with people of all sexes and persusions and if it was ever uncomfortable, I got over it many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/4 "2012-02-01T22:26:10Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > The idea of showering with other people of _any_ persuasion bothers me. I don’t think them being attracted to me would make it any worse. But it might make it _better_. 😉 Hey, if some gay dude is attracted to me, I’m flattered, but it’s tough luck for him. Let 'em oggle. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/5 "2012-02-01T22:26:16Z")
Yup, I chose “other” as well. I don’t want to share the shower with anybody, TYVM, but I wouldn’t be any _more_ opposed to sharing the shower with a gay person than a heterosexual. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/6 "2012-02-01T22:34:10Z")
I was in the Army a long time, I am sure I have showered and shared tents with gay people. No one ever made any issues of it at all. AND I looked pretty good back then. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/7 "2012-02-01T22:36:03Z")
I admit, it would bother me in a mild way to shower with a gay person who I knew was gay but didn’t know well. It’s a visceral, irrational thing, and I know it’s really my problem, not theirs, but it’s still present. I can’t imagine that showering with men in the same military unit would bother me, because I’d actually know them, and so I wouldn’t feel too weird. I would feel much weirder showering with a group of men I don’t know of undetermined sexuality at a gym than I would with a group of men I do know, some of whom were gay. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/8 "2012-02-01T22:38:03Z")
I’m not exactly sure what would bother someone about it. I understand being self conscious about being naked in front of people, but I can’t see how someone being gay would make it worse. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/9 "2012-02-01T22:41:16Z")
I never was a fan of group showers, but it had nothing to do with the sexuality of others. Now, at my age, there’s not a whole lot that bothers me about nudity, and if someone wants to check me out, it’s not my problem… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/10 "2012-02-01T22:45:00Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > The idea of showering with other people of _any_ persuasion bothers me. I don’t think them being attracted to me would make it any worse. This, precisely. If I must use a group shower, I assume I’m with other adults, and adults can act like adults regardless of orientation. I’d really prefer not to use a group shower at all, though. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/11 "2012-02-01T22:45:24Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I’m not exactly sure what would bother someone about it. I understand being self conscious about being naked in front of people, but I can’t see how someone being gay would make it worse. That’s what I was wondering. What would the discomfort consist of? Are people afraid that the gay person will suddenly jump on them? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/12 "2012-02-01T22:45:27Z")
How do I know it hasn’t happened already? I haven’t been in a group shower for over 20 years, but I used to go to the gym, and took gym class in school. Odds are there were gay guys there. If I knew they were gay I’d probably turn it around on them and give them a show and make them uncomfortable. Modesty isn’t really an issue with me. And now I’m old and saggy, so knock yourself out if you want to look at me naked. Anybody want pictures? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/13 "2012-02-01T22:48:02Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Are people afraid that the gay person will suddenly jump on them? That’s certainly what some people seem to think. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/14 "2012-02-01T22:52:49Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > Yup, I chose “other” as well. I don’t want to share the shower with anybody, TYVM, but I wouldn’t be any _more_ opposed to sharing the shower with a gay person than a heterosexual. That’s how I feel about it too. I’d rather shower alone (and maybe sometimes with my husband). If you’re forcing me into a group shower, I’ll be too busy hating the situation to even give a shit whether one of the other women is a lesbian. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/15 "2012-02-01T23:13:35Z")
I suppose if you’re afraid of ‘yucky’ people you’re not attracted to [or who even disgust you] checking you out while you’re naked, that could be an issue for cuter gay guys. Sound like a worthwhile poll? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/16 "2012-02-01T23:18:28Z")
As a gay man who showers regularly with his boyfriend, I can honestly say that I would find nothing sexy or desirable about showering with any other gay or straight guys. It wouldn’t be fun at all… ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/17 "2012-02-01T23:32:03Z")
Another one for “prefers not to shower with with other people at all.” But if I _had_ to choose, I’d take a gay woman before any man, straight or gay. Naked guys would make me very uncomfortable (heck, even clothed guys make me uncomfortable), oggly or not. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/18 "2012-02-01T23:41:10Z")
As long as he isn’t making physical contact with me, I don’t care what he does. Frankly, I can easily understand why somebody watching me wash my naked,glistening body would find hirself getting all hot and bothered. Wank if you must, but make sure I don’t get caught in the overspray. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/19 "2012-02-01T23:42:51Z")
I prefer to shower alone. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469/20 "2012-02-01T23:42:56Z")
In the locker room, no. In my bathroom, maybe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-people-does-the-notion-of-showering-with-a-gay-person-bother-you/611469.md?page=2)