# Straight women: Do you believe that straight men are easy to seduce? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 15, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440 "2018-04-15T03:17:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/21 "2018-04-16T00:41:30Z")
To add to the conversation if you are a guy, you aren’t good looking and a woman tries to seduce you, you may suspect there is some dark ulterior motive. Especially if the woman is more attractive than the kinds of women you can normally get. So there is going to be resistance on that front too. Strange women out of your league generally don’t try to randomly seduce you unless they have serious mental health problems or want to harvest your kidneys. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/22 "2018-04-16T00:48:15Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > The question only really seems worth discussing if you’re talking about it in the sense of ‘all straight men’, not ‘any straight men’. Jesus Christ, you think I got a cast iron cooter or something? ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/23 "2018-04-16T01:11:20Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > That doesn’t seem to be related to the question being asked; it’s asking if the group “straight men” are easy to seduce, not if it’s easy to find a straight man who it’s easy to have sex with. If the OP is really just wondering “is it easy for a conventionally attractive woman to find some straight man interested in casual sex with her”, then the answer is just a boring ‘yes’. (Also, it’s not actually hard for a conventionally attractive man to find a woman interested in sex with him, even if you don’t count ‘pay $100 like the guys in the escorts threads’ as easy). > > The question only really seems worth discussing if you’re talking about it in the sense of ‘all straight men’, not ‘any straight men’. ISTM, that you are adding a crapload to the OP’s premise. If a guy is delivering a kidney, I doubt Skald’s stepdaughter thinks she can seduce him mid trip. I doubt she thinks she could have seduced SEAL team 6 as they were entering Osama’s residence. As a formerly single guy, I waspretty damn easy to seduce and so were most guys I knew who didn’t have a good reason to say no. And I know you attempt a little backtrack, but trying to equate it with a guy’s ease with seduction, I know you’re wrong. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/24 "2018-04-16T01:21:19Z")
Of course, knowing Skald threads, the proponents are probably the reverse of my original thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/25 "2018-04-16T02:41:46Z")
Then there are the guys who are totally oblivious that women are sexually interested in them. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/26 "2018-04-16T02:44:33Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Now? If I worked on my looks a bit, I suspect it would be easy to snag a lonely older guy. Might have to do a bit more than just sit there though. Yeah. Say “Hi.” ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/27 "2018-04-16T02:55:39Z")
If you look at the opposite, men seducing women, even the best seducers, the players, have a low success rate–but they make it up in volume. I remember an article about a successful player having only a 5% or so success rate on the women he approached. But he was very good at quickly recognizing that he was not likely to be successful after perhaps only a few minutes talking so dropped this attempt and moving onto the next possibility. [This is in contrast to the threads we have in Straight Dope where a guy is hung up on a girl for weeks or months and wonders if he should ask her for a date.] ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/28 "2018-04-16T03:17:54Z")
Well, an observation from the other team: Every women who wanted to take me to the boneyard was successful.\* Some of them\* were attractive, too. 😉 Sadly, too small of a sample size for scientific usefulness. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/29 "2018-04-16T04:05:21Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Are we distinguishing between seducing a man to do something he considers immoral, unethical, or illegal (like cheating on his wife, sleeping with a subordinate, or getting involved with an underage girl), vs. situations where there are no such hindrances? I can hardly speak for everyone else in this thread, but all Cinderella the Rhymer & I were talking about was legal & moral seduction. Admittedly, she was also trying to give me a stroke. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/30 "2018-04-16T04:10:03Z")
Huh huh… He said, "Stroke’. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/31 "2018-04-16T04:44:07Z")
I forget who it was (Mae West? Anne Sekel?) who said “you can’t rape the willing”, but the general sentiment would also seem to apply to seduction. To what extent are straight men (in general) available to be had by any female person who wishes to have them? There are aspects of the legend that say males are spectacularly unpicky and perpetually horny. But there are also tales of guys who are quick to be derisive of women who don’t match up to beauty standards sufficiently well as to be regarded as fuckworthy. The only strongly relevant thing I can attest to having seen in my own life is that some of the same guys who so often proclaim their readiness (“anytime, anywhere baby”) get put off-balance quite a bit when they aren’t the initiators. The guy across the street from me when I was in high school confessed that he’d been picked up hitchhiking by an older but quite nice-looking woman who apparently wanted to pick him up, not just pick him up. She told him “I’ve got all day free” and he mumbled about having to be at football practice and so she let him off. “I can’t believe I did that”, he told me. “What’s wrong with me? I could’ve blown off practice and come up with an excuse.” As for the women, I’m all in favor of more women deciding to initiate overtly, but I recommend that they realize the lesson from the above anecdote and smooth out their approach — NOT that they retreat to indirect flirtation to assuage the male ego and all that shit, but that they take into account how spooked people can get when they get hit upon (at least until it has happened so often that they’re jaded to it… guys mostly aren’t). Move in confidently but don’t make it a dare or a challenge. Based on what I’ve heard from the women who’ve done it, it’s fun. Lots of women, I think, would say that they’ve never seen the need for it, there’s sufficient supply of penis without having to do such a thing. As for the guys, I think unless it suddenly started happening so often and universally that it got to be a distinct annoyance and even somehow a threat, yeah we’re probably a pretty easy target. But not effortlessly easy. See above. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/32 "2018-04-16T06:38:49Z")
If the question really is meant to be “Is it very easy to get a single straight man into bed, for a single straight woman who wants to get him there, when there are no moral obstacles for either of them?” … Then I think the answer is just “yes”. ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/33 "2018-04-16T07:06:04Z")
I observe that very many men stoically go through their working life under appreciated and under praised. Consequently, they are naturally vulnerable to acknowledgement of their efforts. It is not rocket science. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/34 "2018-04-16T07:28:05Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > If you look at the opposite, men seducing women, even the best seducers, the players, have a low success rate–but they make it up in volume. I remember an article about a successful player having only a 5% or so success rate on the women he approached. But he was very good at quickly recognizing that he was not likely to be successful after perhaps only a few minutes talking so dropped this attempt and moving onto the next possibility. [This is in contrast to the threads we have in Straight Dope where a guy is hung up on a girl for weeks or months and wonders if he should ask her for a date.] How did he define success? getting a phone number? Getting a date? Having sex? Do you recall the article? It sounds interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/35 "2018-04-16T07:49:02Z")
‘Seduction’ to me implies an element of persuasion, of overcoming initial reluctance. I don’t think that’s very easy, in general, for women. Finding a guy -any guy- that’s up for it isn’t hard, but persuasion isn’t normally involved. A lot of guys like being the initiator, or the chooser, and have a very negative reaction to women who attempt to take that role. Of course some guys don’t mind and a few prefer it (according to family legend my Grandpa was practically clubbed over the head and dragged off by Grandma; he was confused but happy about it). Women have that (bloody stupid imho) traditional concept of ‘make him work for it’ where the lady is supposed to show no interest until the gentleman shows he’s persistent and serious, which is where seduction comes into play, but there is no tradition for the idea with genders reversed. Sure, some guys may initially not be interested due to circumstances/fear of kidney harvest/not paying attention and may change his mind later after sufficient time or show of interest, but to a large extent, it’s not really affected by ‘seduction’. You might be able to change the mind of a few maybes, but there are far fewer of them than the nopes and the yeses. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/36 "2018-04-16T14:16:59Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > I observe that very many men stoically go through their working life under appreciated and under praised. Consequently, they are naturally vulnerable to acknowledgement of their efforts. It is not rocket science. This is it, basically. A good analogy for the OP’s question is to imagine an economic recession. You have people lining up at job fairs, sending in dozens of applications, trying their best to land an interview, many futilely. Now imagine that you are an employer, going around offering well-paying jobs to these unemployed people. How long will it take you to get them in for an interview and for them to accept your job offers? For many of them, only about as much time as it takes for their mouths to pronounce the word “Yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/37 "2018-04-16T14:54:51Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > ISTM, that you are adding a crapload to the OP’s premise. And I think that if the OP is just asking ‘are there some straight guys looking to bang any attractive woman out there’, then it’s not an interesting question at all, uses incorrect language, and the obvious answer is ‘yes’. > [@](#): > > If a guy is delivering a kidney, None of my examples involved attempting to seduce someone in the middle of a time critical operation like delivering a kidney or engaging in a military mission. They all involved general preferences or steady life situations, like ‘have a fetish for X’ or ‘are married’. > [@](#): > > As a formerly single guy, I waspretty damn easy to seduce and so were most guys I knew who didn’t have a good reason to say no. And I know you attempt a little backtrack, but trying to equate it with a guy’s ease with seduction, I know you’re wrong. As I said before, I don’t think that just offering someone what they’re already looking for in exactly the way they’re looking for counts as ‘seduction’. If I go to a party where people want to drink and offer them free beer, I’m not really seducing them to drink my beer. It only makes sense to use the word ‘seduction’ if there’s some degree of reluctance to overcome in the beginning and you’re doing something active, like at least initiating conversation. And your claim of easy ‘seduction’ doesn’t seem to match very well with the reality that female friends of mine have experienced. I know a number of women who experimented with making first contact on dating/hookup sites, and found that it puts the majority of men off enough that the contact goes nowhere. There simply are a huge chunk of men who will not say yes if a woman makes the first contact. There’s also a lot of guys who will say ‘yes’ on the initial chat/message, but then not show up in person for the actual date/hookup. I had one friend who, before she started filtering out ‘probable time wasters’ had a streak of 19/20 no-shows. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/38 "2018-04-16T15:01:25Z")
Yeah, I don’t think everyone in this thread is on the same page about what it means to **seduce** someone. Anybody want to try offering a working definition? ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/39 "2018-04-16T15:04:51Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Every women who wanted to take me to the boneyard was successful.\* Some of them\* were attractive, too. 😉 How did you determine that you didn’t miss any signals from a woman who was interested, or tune out a woman that you weren’t interested in? I know that in my younger days I missed a LOT of opportunities by not seeing signals that I was supposed to pick up on, and I’m sure I don’t have a complete set. And I know that it’s really common for men to completely tune out any subtle hints from a woman that he’s not attracted to. I’ve heard enough complaints from both sides on this that I’d lay money you missed at least one in your time. And I’d certainly count ‘attempted to seduce, subject didn’t even notice’ in the non-easy column. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440/40 "2018-04-16T15:12:19Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Now imagine that you are an employer, going around offering well-paying jobs to these unemployed people. How long will it take you to get them in for an interview and for them to accept your job offers? For many of them, only about as much time as it takes for their mouths to pronounce the word “Yes.” If you offer someone a lot of money to do something they would like to do anyway, I’m not sure that it actually counts as ‘seduction’ of any sort. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-women-do-you-believe-that-straight-men-are-easy-to-seduce/812440.md?page=3)