The part that’s puzzling to me is that a number of the “ornaments” are actually ornaments. At least three of the round things are definitely ornaments, and the fourth round thing (the green one), the purple lozenge, the two fourfold-symmetric snowflakes and the two stars would all be completely unremarkable on a Christmas tree. If it were intentionally ironically wrong, I’d expect at most one real ornament, and probably likewise if it were made by someone completely clueless about Christmas decorating.
As soon as I saw the pointed thing at the bottom I thought of a mini ball - muzzle loading bullets.
https://www.dixiegunworks.com/popup_image.php?pID=1352&osCsid=ss4dvibvm7256nhnea3scdhp53
The base is flared too much to work well, however.
Dennis
Winner of the round.
Stylized Pagoda… that you put in your butt.
I’m wondering if it’s supposed to be a bell. I googled Chinese bells and they do seem generally tallish and bullet-shaped, although I found nothing very similar.
I knew that thing looked ammo related.
Yeah, I thought Minié Ball on first glance (I’m a follower of AquaChigger), but the flared base would make it useless as a bullet, I think.
I guess if it was a shotgun slug that is designed to work with discarding sabots, maybe.
Anything is a butt plug if you try hard enough.
And this from the user who solved the “What is it?” puzzle.
I think that purple thing near the top might be a tatting shuttle, but not sure why it would be considered a Christmas ornament.
The closest I could find to the buttplug is this, available on Amazon.
The thing at the bottom looks like it could be a punctal plug,and the one between and below the red ornaments looks similar to the Essilor logo. Maybe it’s from an optometrist’s office.
God hates you now.
The eye makes sense if you didn’t know all the details of Christmas but were familiar with some of the character and songs. You had heard there’s a guy who sees you when you’re sleeping so there’s a surveillance aspect to the holiday.
Yeah, I wouldn’t over-think the eye. Or any of this. It’s just one card of an assortment.
For those interested, here’s the Amazon listing of the whole box. You can browse the other designs. This might be more broadly aimed at the Chinese market - they do celebrate Christmas there, you know, but they pick and choose the symbols they like and so you get Santa and reindeer and trees and the like, but also things we in the West wouldn’t associate with the holiday. Though I imagine butt plugs aren’t a part of it.
(I wonder, could you load a butt plug into a shotgun? Just spitballing.)
Those Amazon images are weird. One of the cards has drawings of bananas, grapes, an apple (or tomato?), and a squash???.
The text is Merry Christmas. Maybe the selected red letters form a code to the Illuminati.
Given the English text, not intended for the Chinese market, I’d say.
Don’t be so sure. Variations of “Merry Christmas”, in English, are part of the deal in China.
Here’s 2017’s public display in Shanghai.
This isn’t like “Coca-Cola” meaning Bite the wax tadpole, is it?
And what’s with all the rabbits all over the cards?
Rabbits are cute.
A closer look at one of the other cards reveals more mysterious things, which maybe aren’t so mysterious. That yellow thing that looks like a hat or a boat is called a gold ingot. Very common to see these on altars to pay tribute to deities and ancestors – Chinese want to make sure that their dead peeps have enough gold to live on.
But the gray thing that looks like a twisted piece of wire on a lanyard - some sort of IUD, maybe?
It looks a bit like a dripline hole plug, and I can convince myself that it’s black plastic in odd lighting, but I’ve never seen one quite like that.
Once I somehow acquired a box of Chinese Christmas tree ornaments. They were mostly too small for an ordinary-sized tree, but all had strings for hanging. Many were the howls of terrified laughter as we unpacked it and tried figure out not just how the objects related to Christmas but what they were meant to be at all. Sex toys for dolls? Robot xylophone? Martian desk lamp? Hind leg of a dog with a sock on it? They were products of an alien civilization, that was the only thing we were sure of.