# Strange clothing choices by friend's teenage girls, bizarre phase? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2019, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018 "2019-09-30T00:23:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/21 "2019-09-30T13:01:41Z")
Normal teenagers dress weird. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/22 "2019-09-30T14:13:27Z")
When young (20) I wore long sleeves in the summer heat and never shorts because I was too thin, naturally, and was told I looked unattractive. I’m guessing 5’10" and 115 lbs. I was healthy though. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/23 "2019-09-30T14:49:24Z")
Teenagers are funny. Sometimes they dress a certain way to conceal or reveal, sometimes they dress a certain way because it’s comfortable, or because it makes others uncomfortable. Sometimes they want others to be uncomfortable because it gives them a rise, sometimes they think people need to be made uncomfortable before they reflect on their role in perpetuating harmful social standards. All you can do is respect their choices and investigate to rule out danger. It sounds like both girls are doing what they want–why would anyone want to send the signal to their daughter that that’s a mistake? Truth is, the drive to live true to your own desires suggests a very strong personality. Parent’s job is to look for danger, and to stand back if there isn’t any. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/24 "2019-09-30T18:37:20Z")
Neither of the girls in the OP sound particularly out of the ordinary, to me. In addition to the other potential reasons for Sarah’s style (‘it’s just the style’ and ‘teenager body issues’ seem most likely to me) that other people have mentioned…she might just run cold. Poor circulation or just a less energetic metabolism. Katie reminds me of my grandmother. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her not dressed to the nines and fully made up. And the different bike helmets to match her outfit thing is something I would do, if I had the money. (Well, I don’t ride a bike, but I’d do it with glasses.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/25 "2019-09-30T19:36:38Z")
Hey, I’m a grown woman and my kids tell me I dress weird. I might be barefoot, braless, hoodie inside out, if I’m stepping one foot off the place, I’ve got my lipstick on. No matter what. #33 rosy red. You have to have standards. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/26 "2019-09-30T19:47:42Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Normal teenagers dress weird. Normal teenagers? I haven’t met one yet. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/27 "2019-09-30T20:17:15Z")
What stood out for me was the fact that she was reading a book. I don’t care what the book was about, but the fact she was reading, tells me she’s fine and probably will be in the future. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2019, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/28 "2019-09-30T20:23:18Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Normal teenagers? I haven’t met one yet. Most teens are normal. They just look, act, speak, and do everything else in a weird, erratic, senseless manner. Then some of them turn into adults. That’s when the normal fades away. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/29 "2019-10-01T00:24:30Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Seventeen-year-old [Billie Eilish](https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/music/a27467918/billie-eilish-style/) is the latest teenage music phenom. She always wears voluminous baggy clothes. Her style is probably catching on. That was going to be my suggestion too. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/30 "2019-10-01T02:30:20Z")
Obviously going from my own Jr high/high school experience here, but. . . You say that the kids at school have harassed them about their clothing to the point of it escalating to suspensions all around. Why then should we be surprised the girls might try to keep it about their clothes, and avoid allowing it to be about their bodies? Young boys at that age are merciless judges and commentators of the female form. The girls have chosen opposite defense mechanisms to a very common problem. It might be wise for the parents to just get permission to spend a day in the hallways at school, and see for themselves what the young girls there go through. The administration might need a prod in the ribs about protecting the girls from harassment. And yes, it might also be that one or both are headed toward/practicing self harm or eating disorders. As long as the parents are allowing them to exercise control over their lives it shouldn’t escalate to that point though. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/31 "2019-10-01T04:50:35Z")
I’d be all for the letting them dress the way they want, but the beach incident has me concerned. It’s one thing to want to avoid showing your body, but if a kid is “looking uncomfortable” because she’s on a hot beach in pants and a high-necked, long-sleeved shirt, it warrants some concern. I’m unclear as to why the family is garnering stares when they’re out in public, though. You have one teen in baggy clothing, one who’s very nicely dressed, and one in typical teen clothes. I can’t see anything there that would likely result in stares unless Kate is in a ballgown and Sarah is dressed as a nun. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/32 "2019-10-01T13:35:19Z")
I would be a bit worried that Sarah is cutting - but it is also trendy a la Billie Eilish to dress super baggy. I know my daughter and her friends would often conceal self-harm marks with clothing (like not wearing bathing suits). ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/33 "2019-10-01T15:19:42Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > I’d be all for the letting them dress the way they want, but the beach incident has me concerned. It’s one thing to want to avoid showing your body, but if a kid is “looking uncomfortable” because she’s on a hot beach in pants and a high-necked, long-sleeved shirt, it warrants some concern. I’ve seen women on the beach covered head-to-toe (I assume for religious reasons) and yet they were not overheating. I talked with one woman about her outfit, because my vitiligo makes sunburn a big concern. Following her suggestion, I wound up buying something [similar to this](https://www.rei.com/product/148227/flylow-bandit-shirt-mens). It’s great. Breathable, comfortable, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/34 "2019-10-01T15:37:01Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > People here aren’t saying the modest clothes are a problem that needs to be fixed; they’re saying the clothes might signal an underlying problem that needs to be fixed. Key word: might. An unusually thin girl might have a health problem, or might just be built that way. A girl who stays home alone instead of going out with friends might suffer from depression, anxiety, or other issues, or she might just be an introvert. A girl who covers up completely even when it causes her apparent physical discomfort might just be modest, or temporarily weirded out by her changing body, or rebelling against something, or some other benign explanation that doesn’t need a solution. Or she might have a real problem and be in need of help. Victims of sexual abuse, people who self-harm, and people with eating disorders commonly dress the way this girl is described. We all see things through our own dirty lenses, but one of us might be right. I hope not, but if we are, I hope she gets the help she needs. Well put. Most of the people in this thread are saying what _could be_ going on, not what _is_ going on. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/35 "2019-10-01T19:06:58Z")
While it’s not necessarily anyone but the family’s business to delve into and determine the truth of the matter, the whole dismissive “lol teens, so weird and random, what can you do??” on something that is an obvious danger sign to me is well…yep, been there, done that. My parents even saw the cut marks and didn’t give a shit. It always amazes me how oblivious parents are to the suffering of their own kids, and how the suffering of teens is discarded because it’s not “real adult problems”. It seriously pisses me off how adults do this over and over and then wonder why their teens end up so messed up and don’t talk to them about things. The main thing of course is to talk to these kids and actually be concerned (but if the parents haven’t been doing this already, it’s most likely too late). It could just be a “bizzare phase” and “just a little adjustment to her new body” but in my experience no teen ever dresses the way they do for no reason. **Inigo Montoya** hits the nail on the head that there’s a lot of different reasons, but there is always a reason. And with girls it is very frequently a reaction to bullying or other mental suffering. Cutting, depression, sexual harassment, body image issues, gender dysphoria, rape, coercion, bullying, eating disorders, pick one, some, or all of the above. Changes like this in a person’s behavior shouldn’t be ignored. But as I said, this is really only something that particular person or their family can tackle. We can’t figure it out from here and it’s not necessarily anybody’s business. Of course nobody can determine what IS going on for a fact. We’re not them and we’ll never be able to talk to them. They might bounce back after they escape high school. They may fall deeper and deeper into their depression and not come out. We don’t know, but you asked us to surmise. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/36 "2019-10-01T21:55:18Z")
Another random speculation based on no data: Maybe Sarah is dressing that way to specifically contrast with Katie. If you elder sister by one year is an attention seeking clothes horse, you might want to assert your individuality by wearing the same drab clothes every day. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2019, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/37 "2019-10-01T22:31:03Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > Another random speculation based on no data: > > Maybe Sarah is dressing that way to specifically contrast with Katie. > > If you elder sister by one year is an attention seeking clothes horse, you might want to assert your individuality by wearing the same drab clothes every day. As the father of two girls, I can certainly second this. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2019, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/38 "2019-10-02T00:55:30Z")
It would be funny to [wear an old fashioned suit like this](https://www.historicalemporium.com/store/ladies-accessories.php?&type=Bathing%20Suits)and cause a sensation. But then if your worried about the sun, smarter than a bikini. ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2019, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/39 "2019-10-02T16:33:10Z")
Another partial explanation: My teenager is on the autistic spectrum (high functioning) and has a strange relationship with clothes. How they feel is the most important. He prefers long sleeves, long slacks, and even a long bathrobe, at all times of the day, regardless of the weather. He really has no sense of “dressing for the weather” and we parents have to tell him to go dress more warmly or put on a T-shirt instead depending on how it is outside. To put on a raincoat when it’s raining, etc. He just doesn’t respond to those conditions. He even claims he doesn’t mind the heat or cold–just so he can wear what he wants without having to rethink it. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2019, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018/40 "2019-10-02T17:48:02Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > sometimes teenagers are just assholes. “Sometimes”??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-clothing-choices-by-friends-teenage-girls-bizarre-phase/841018.md?page=1)