# Strange company slogans that just rubs you the wrong way. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473 "2008-06-10T18:03:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/21 "2008-06-10T19:55:52Z")
When growing up, one local company always talked about being ‘the sharpest pencil in town’. That always puzzled me. The don’t do many deals? They are very good at fine print? Both? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/22 "2008-06-10T20:14:19Z")
In my childhood there was a local furniture store whose commercial was a jingle. One of the lines was (paraphrased) “We have thousands of styles, to help make up your mind.” I’m all for having more choices when I shop, but wouldn’t more choices make making a decision all the more difficult? ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/23 "2008-06-10T20:20:14Z")
A ocal cemetary advertises its services as providing “peace of mind”? What they heck is that about? Are they saying that once they plant you, you ain’t goin nowhere? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/24 "2008-06-10T20:21:13Z")
“Where’s _your_ Nature Valley?” None of your business! ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/25 "2008-06-10T21:33:05Z")
The United States Navy “Accelerate Your Life”. Not a good war-time slogan. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/26 "2008-06-10T21:42:17Z")
An ‘Army of One’, isn’t an army, by definition. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/27 "2008-06-10T21:44:05Z")
McDonald’s had a slogan “I’m Asian”. Actually, they trademarked it, and bought up the website [www.i-am-asian.com](http://www.i-am-asian.com). No you’re not. You’re McDonald’s. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/28 "2008-06-10T21:51:03Z")
The one that pisses me off the most is the on in the ads for the breast cancer walk, where some woman says, **I never got a say in whether I wanted to lose my mom.** So what if you DID get a say? Would you have still picked “yes?” Would you have had to think about it for a bit? 😕 And I’d just like to add on another note that it tickles me to no end that the guy who is the “Kay” in “Kay Jewelers,” the guy who is responsible for perpetuating the most expensive, most bogus, most ridiculously materialistic hetero-male tradition ever… was gay. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/29 "2008-06-10T22:16:05Z")
Barnardo’s (a charity for children) has a campaign of late with the slogan “It’s only poverty, he/she will grow out of it. With your help.” So, it’s only poverty, no need to worry about it since they’ll grow out of it anyway. I just don’t think it makes much sense at all. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/30 "2008-06-10T22:38:47Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] “What can Brown do for you?” Stay out of my pants! [/QUOTE] This slogan is much more amusing if you have a very attractive Indian friend with a sense of humor. And not to be crude, but I dunno that “stay _out_” is the proper sentiment in this context. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Qwisp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qwisp/32/397_2.png) [@Qwisp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwisp)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/31 "2008-06-10T22:39:34Z")
How about another jewelry store slogan. “He went to Jared!” It makes me want to rip the faces off the bitches who say it . ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/32 "2008-06-10T22:45:13Z")
[Hate you can Trust](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guild_of_calamitous_intent) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/33 "2008-06-10T22:50:44Z")
[QUOTE=Qwisp] How about another jewelry store slogan. “He went to Jared!” It makes me want to rip the faces off the bitches who say it . [/QUOTE] Well, that makes me think he went to Jared from Subway, which makes me think of a homosexual liaison, which probably isn’t where the commercial was intending my mind to go. And then he bought her jewellery so she wouldn’t suspect anything? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/34 "2008-06-10T23:22:23Z")
My least favorite slogan from a few years back was the stain company that said “No one knows wood as good.” The bad grammar used to leap from the TV and poke me in the eye. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/35 "2008-06-10T23:31:26Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] “What can Brown do for you?” [/QUOTE] Please don’t go yammering at me about brown doo. For all you know, I could be trying to enjoy a meal, here. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/36 "2008-06-10T23:34:46Z")
[QUOTE=BlinkingDuck] When growing up, one local company always talked about being ‘the sharpest pencil in town’. That always puzzled me. [/QUOTE] I’d take it as a suggestion that the company was prepared to ‘sharpen its pencil’ and offer significant discounts. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/37 "2008-06-10T23:37:36Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] “What can Brown do for you?” Stay out of my pants! [/QUOTE] Hah! I can get behind that. When I need to excuse myself to, ah, take care of business, as it were, I’ve started saying, “Excuse me, Brown needs to go deliver some packages.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/38 "2008-06-11T00:43:52Z")
[QUOTE=Qwisp] How about another jewelry store slogan. “He went to Jared!” [/QUOTE] He bought jewelry from the [Subway guy](http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/MenuNutrition/Jared/jaredsStory.aspx)? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/39 "2008-06-11T00:52:33Z")
Another vote for “What can brown do for you?” I can’t believe they didn’t realize that every single person who heard that slogan was going to think about poop. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/40 "2008-06-11T01:08:12Z")
[QUOTE=ralph124c] A local cemetary advertises its services as providing “peace of mind”? What they heck is that about? Are they saying that once they plant you, you ain’t goin nowhere? [/QUOTE] Well, it’s comforting to know that when you visit your loved one’s grave, you won’t see body parts protruding from the ground. Probably they mean that if you fork over oodles of cash for a burial plan while you’re still living, you won’t put your next-of-kin in hock for a high-end interment, assuming they wouldn’t automatically go for cremation and a K-Mart urn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=3)