# Strange company slogans that just rubs you the wrong way. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473 "2008-06-10T18:03:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/61 "2008-06-11T09:52:40Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] “What can Brown do for you?” Stay out of my pants! [/QUOTE] That’s the one. It’s just… gross. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/62 "2008-06-11T11:54:36Z")
[QUOTE=mswas] An ‘Army of One’, isn’t an army, by definition. [/QUOTE] This one has always driven me crazy, too. I took it to mean that if just one person finally enlists, everyone else is off the hook! Which isn’t what the Army wanted at all at the time. A truly stupid slogan. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/63 "2008-06-11T12:42:14Z")
[QUOTE=Della] MidAmerican Energy’s slogan is “Obsessively, relentlessly, at your service.” This has always creeped me out. It makes me think that my natural gas supplier is a stalker. [/QUOTE] “Do you smell that smell? Do you? Because it means I _love_ you.” How’d I do? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/64 "2008-06-11T14:55:26Z")
Just now saw a TV ad that had me giggling. The company wanted to emphasize that they help people achieve their dreams and possibilities, so it had different people walking around with the words “I’m a…” superimposed over them. The company’s name is DIC. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/65 "2008-06-11T15:06:56Z")
My company Nextel cell phone when powered on says: “Do.” And when you power it off it says: “Doing.” “Done.” “Nextel.Done.” WTF does that even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/66 "2008-06-11T15:29:04Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] I’ve also always hated “what’s in your wallet” for some odd reason, no idea why. [/QUOTE] What’s in my wallet? Certainly nothing that will screw up my credit rating by not reporting the limit! I screw up my credit rating just fine on my own, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/67 "2008-06-11T15:42:49Z")
Jewellers seem to be featuring a lot… a local jeweller has the slogan “Where quality is your own reward”. It just doesn’t sound right. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/68 "2008-06-11T15:52:12Z")
[QUOTE=Mark Ryle] “Chevrolet: An American Revolution,” with the horizontal bars of the uppercase “E” in Revolution a stylized flag. Because it devalues the phrase and because it is laughable that Chevrolet would be remotely evocative of such. [/QUOTE] When you combine that with that horrible Jon Mellencamp song “This is our country”… set to a commercial that only has white people in it, it seems even worse. My vote has to go to the USAF’s “peace is our profession”. I always want to append “…but blowing shit up is our passion” to it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/69 "2008-06-11T16:13:27Z")
I’m sure I’ve seen trucks from Fluke Transport here in Ontario with the slogan, “If it’s on time, it’s a Fluke”. We often use Fluke Instruments multimeters at work, and of course the standard remark was, “If it works, it’s a Fluke!” (Two separate companies, by the way.) ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/70 "2008-06-11T17:11:22Z")
I knew my first choices would be taken when I opened the thread, but to recap… What can brown do for you. He went to Jareds. Army of one. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/71 "2008-06-11T17:14:33Z")
[QUOTE=Lucky 13] I loved the variation on this slogan used in the film _Idiocracy_: “Fuck you, I’m eating.” [/QUOTE] “Go away! ‘Batin’.” ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/72 "2008-06-11T17:19:06Z")
There’s a basement repair company in St. Louis called “The Crack Team”. Their slogan is “A Dry Crack is a Happy Crack” (uttered by their mascot, Mr. Happy Crack). Besides the scatological implication of the slogan, I always think: isn’t the point to have no crack? Isn’t that what repairing the crack is all about? ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/73 "2008-06-11T17:29:43Z")
Long Beach police department used to have stickers that said, “Our cops are tops.” In a gay community, not the best slogan! ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/74 "2008-06-11T17:46:11Z")
[QUOTE=dalej42] Long Beach police department used to have stickers that said, “Our cops are tops.” In a gay community, not the best slogan! [/QUOTE] Winner! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/75 "2008-06-11T17:51:27Z")
…supplanted by “ARMYSTRONG”? I was wondering what the Army’s pitchmen were thinking-you go from an army of one to:headstrong (no), allwrong (nope), long gone (nope)…that’s it! “armystrong”!! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/76 "2008-06-11T18:03:44Z")
There was a hardware supply company in Indiana that had the slogan “House Of A Million Screws”. Eric Burdon recorded a jingle for them. Alright, I’m kidding about the last part. In the realm of dumb promos, the Subway I often get lunch at has a sign saying that if you “take one bite of a sandwich and are not completely satisfied, return the uneaten portion for a refund.” Who’s gonna be “completely satisfied” after one bite of a sandwich? What am I, a gerbil?? ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/77 "2008-06-11T18:24:13Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] Who’s gonna be “completely satisfied” after one bite of a sandwich? What am I, a gerbil?? [/QUOTE] And what if you take _two_ bites before you discover the fact that your sandwich is unsatisfying? _What then???_ ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/78 "2008-06-11T18:42:06Z")
Worse than bad slogans are local ads put to bad music, badly sung, with no melody, and no words that rhyme. “Youuuuuuuuuu should really buyyyyyyyyyy your carrrrrrrrrrrr here because we sell really good carrrrrrrrrrrrrs, better than that guy across the streeeeeeet”. (Not an actual ad but close.) If all you have to say is “MediCap Pharmacy, we always make time for you”, you don’t have to sing it. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/79 "2008-06-11T18:43:47Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] There was a hardware supply company in Indiana that had the slogan “House Of A Million Screws”. Eric Burdon recorded a jingle for them. Alright, I’m kidding about the last part. In the realm of dumb promos, the Subway I often get lunch at has a sign saying that if you “take one bite of a sandwich and are not completely satisfied, return the uneaten portion for a refund.” Who’s gonna be “completely satisfied” after one bite of a sandwich? What am I, a gerbil?? [/QUOTE] Is the refund prorated? “Well sir, I see you’ve eaten 7% of your sandwich. The original price of your sandwich was $6.35; your refund is $5.91.” ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/80 "2008-06-11T20:23:27Z")
Sherman-Williams “Cover the earth” bothers me a lot. Particularly since it goes along with someone pouring a giant can of paint out and, well, covering the earth. Gross. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=5)