# Strange company slogans that just rubs you the wrong way. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473 "2008-06-10T18:03:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/101 "2008-06-12T15:24:15Z")
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion] For mother’s day, the Hallmark store put up posters advising you to “Rock your mom.” Um, no thanks. [/QUOTE] I’ll be happy to rock \*your \* mom. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/102 "2008-06-12T16:07:13Z")
[QUOTE=EristicKallistic] We have a local septic-tank service, and the trucks read “We’re #1 in the #2 business”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… [/QUOTE] Our local septic tank/portajohn company has a poker hand as their logo. Yes, it’s a **Royal Flush**. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/103 "2008-06-12T17:22:04Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] There is an ad for {awnings?} where poor Harry is trying to talk, and the bitch he married keeps interrupting, telling Harry to tell them about the discount. Over and over. I would love it if just once, Harry stopped and called her an ignorant cunt who has made his life a living hell. But that’s just me. [/QUOTE] Oh God, seconded. That commercial always include me yelling “Shut your fucking piehole, bitch! I’m getting to the fucking discount! If they have a wife like you, who spends every fucking dime I make, they’ll _need_ the fucking discount!!” at the radio. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/104 "2008-06-12T22:50:54Z")
Remember GE? They used to have a slogan “Progress Is Our Most Important Product”-made sense. But a company (long gone, used to work for them, had a really strange one:“Tomorrow’s Thinking in Today’s Products”?? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/105 "2008-06-12T23:03:39Z")
I saw a truck today from Excell Excavations- they rent heavy equipment. The back of the truck said “Your Hole is Our Goal!” :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/106 "2008-06-12T23:14:00Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] In the realm of dumb promos, the Subway I often get lunch at has a sign saying that if you “take one bite of a sandwich and are not completely satisfied, return the uneaten portion for a refund.” [/QUOTE] It could be a lot worse. What if they wanted you to return the **eaten** portion? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/107 "2008-06-12T23:40:47Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Our local septic tank/portajohn company has a poker hand as their logo. Yes, it’s a **Royal Flush**. [/QUOTE] A local septic tank pumper here has the name - Honey Dipper. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/108 "2008-06-13T04:43:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion] For mother’s day, the Hallmark store put up posters advising you to “Rock your mom.” Um, no thanks. [/QUOTE] You now are imagining yourself rocking your mom. There was this add at some store in a local mall. Had this pic of this sexy model in near naked revealing lingerie looking right at you with this seductive smile. In the upper corner it says “happy mother’s day” !!! … What kind of fucked families are they marketing to? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/109 "2008-06-13T05:13:53Z")
[QUOTE=The Tao’s Revenge] You now are imagining yourself rocking your mom. There was this add at some store in a local mall. Had this pic of this sexy model in near naked revealing lingerie looking right at you with this seductive smile. In the upper corner it says “happy mother’s day” !!! … What kind of fucked families are they marketing to? [/QUOTE] Well in MY family it’s tradition to give mothers day cards/gifts to your spouse (if they so happen to be a mother) as well, so maybe (and hopefully) they were going for the husband-wife angle? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/110 "2008-06-13T05:25:31Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] So they serve Soylent Green? or are their clientele zombies? [/QUOTE] On the menu, it’s Verde Soylentio. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Ryle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8dc957/32.png) [@Mark\_Ryle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Ryle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/111 "2008-06-13T05:55:11Z")
The best slogan ever could very well be “BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine.” Yet at the same time I could argue it’s become as malapropos, in some cases, as “Chevrolet - An American Revolution.” BMW long ago – purely from greed I have to assume – took to eagerly supplying Americans their SUV’s, or as BMW (snickeringly, probably) refers to them, SAV’s, sport-activity vehicles. Excuse me while I choke. They drive like 5000-lb. SUV’s regardless of what BMW decides to call them. Can the BMW “X5” be considered as standing in any conceivable tradition of Ultimate Driving Machines? It’s basically a 5-Series wagon made to look even more outlandish and ungainly. That embarrasment seemed to spawn the “X6” SUV or SAV or CAV, or whatever they’re calling this one – again a slower, thirstier, pricier, less space-efficient version of an existing utility vehicle. I picture the German engineers and designers joking and making snide, deprecatory remarks back and forth concerning the crassness of Americans’ automotive tastes, all the while pandering to us by designing ever more bizarre models clearly far below German sensibilities in automotive performance and style. Or possibly those BMW employees relegated to the SUV Department just hang their heads all day, lamenting their fate, while their more dignified colleages continue designing the classic sedans, coupes, and roadster. Ultimate Driving Machines, indeed. Ditto for Mercedes. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/112 "2008-06-13T05:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=Mark Ryle] I picture the German engineers and designers joking and making snide, deprecatory remarks back and forth concerning the crassness of Americans’ automotive tastes, all the while pandering to us by designing ever more bizarre models clearly far below German sensibilities in automotive performance and style. Or possibly those BMW employees relegated to the SUV Department just hang their heads all day, lamenting their fate, while their more dignified colleages continue designing the classic sedans, coupes, and roadster. [/QUOTE] I once read an article about a German engineer or executive trying to persuade colleagues back home to incorporate certain design elements that they found utterly flabbergasting. Like cup holders. Why on earth would one need something to hold a drink? Gott in Himmel, you’re _driving_, not sitting down to a meal! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/113 "2008-06-13T06:04:24Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] Well in MY family it’s tradition to give mothers day cards/gifts to your spouse (if they so happen to be a mother) as well, so maybe (and hopefully) they were going for the husband-wife angle? [/QUOTE] That’s what I was thinking, but folks without baby mommas are left to contemplate their own mom looking at them like that _shudder_. ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/114 "2008-06-13T08:35:10Z")
Australian wine company, Cockatoo Ridge, have giant billboards featuring a hot-looking young lady with kinda tousled bed-hair, with the slogan “She enjoys a Cockatoo”. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/115 "2008-06-13T10:24:00Z")
I forget which cigarette company it was, but back when 100mm cigarettes were first coming out, their slogan was “It’s not how long you make it, it’s how you make it long”! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/116 "2008-06-13T10:31:15Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] I forget which cigarette company it was, but back when 100mm cigarettes were first coming out, their slogan was “It’s not how long you make it, it’s how you make it long”! [/QUOTE] Aha! Found it! [Winston!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM6mOKApEJc) ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Ryle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8dc957/32.png) [@Mark\_Ryle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Ryle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/117 "2008-06-13T12:39:33Z")
[QUOTE=Koxinga] I once read an article about a German engineer or executive trying to persuade colleagues back home to incorporate certain design elements that they found utterly flabbergasting. Like cup holders. Why on earth would one need something to hold a drink? Gott in Himmel, you’re _driving_, not sitting down to a meal! [/QUOTE] _Helmut_: Heiny, after your team comes up with cup holders with a German feel to them – Ultimate Driving Machine cupholders – I want you to engineer uber-sophisitcated systems we can tack on to keep dieses dumm autos from rolling over so much. We’ll use the safety angle prominently in our advertising, just below Ultimate Driving Machine. _Heinrich_: Why not just design our cars with a low center of gravity, as we always have, in accordance with sensible design principles, mein Herr? _Helmut_: Dummkopf! Americans need to climb Pinnacle Rock in Utah from time to time, and ford rivers and streams on the way because of their great environmental consciousness. (guffaws) _Heinrich_: Sehr gut. _Helmut_: Fahrfergnugen. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/118 "2008-06-13T12:50:15Z")
[QUOTE=winterhawk11] Another vote for “What can brown do for you?” I can’t believe they didn’t realize that every single person who heard that slogan was going to think about poop. [/QUOTE] [Brown covers your ass.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8AzVK6BJ8Q) ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/119 "2008-06-13T12:53:01Z")
[QUOTE=RTFirefly] Carrabba’s Italian Grill: “People are our specialty.” It would be one thing if they spouted that slogan at a point in their commercials when they’d been talking about their great service. But no - they go into it directly from telling you about their _menu options_. 😃 [/QUOTE] I remember a McDonald’s slogan from 20 or so years ago – “People: our most important ingredient.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/120 "2008-06-13T13:59:32Z")
[QUOTE=The Tao’s Revenge] There was this add at some store in a local mall. Had this pic of this sexy model in near naked revealing lingerie looking right at you with this seductive smile. In the upper corner it says “happy mother’s day” !!! … What kind of fucked families are they marketing to? [/QUOTE] I’d wager they’re aiming at those who want to be mothers rather than those who already are. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473.md?page=7)