# Strange company slogans that just rubs you the wrong way.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 10, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473 "2008-06-10T18:03:15Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 18\
**Page:** 8

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/141 "2008-06-16T02:17:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Quote:  
> Originally Posted by SisterCoyote  
> Sherman-Williams “Cover the earth” bothers me a lot. Particularly since it goes along with someone pouring a giant can of paint out and, well, covering the earth.
> 
> Gross.
> 
> “We Cover the Earth” And it is a giant can of red paint pouring over the earth…some sort of satanic cult logo

Back in the 1970s, National Lampoon had a comic book feature in which a communist cell had a poster with the Sherwin-Williams logo on the wall, only the can had a hammer-and-sickle on it.

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**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/142 "2008-06-16T02:40:25Z")

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We took my FIL to Texas Roadhouse today for Father’s Day.

Their slogan (which should be: “Overpriced steaks and overcooked hamburgers; but at least our bathrooms smell like piss”) is: “If it doesn’t say ‘Texas’ it’s not 'Texas Roadhouse.”

Translation: “If our name were different, we’d be called something else!”

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**Author:** ![AlwaysFresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@AlwaysFresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlwaysFresh)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/143 "2008-06-16T03:06:29Z")

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[QUOTE=enipla]  
A local septic tank pumper here has the name - Honey Dipper.  
[/QUOTE]

Reminds me of something. My ex-hubby works in the movie industry here in Toronto and his job is to occasionally drive “honey wagons” to location shoots (honey wagons are portable washrooms for the actors/whoever).

Honey wagon? Still makes me laugh.

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**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/144 "2008-06-17T22:14:51Z")

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One I saw today – an ad for Jungala, a new attraction at Busch Gardens.

Featuring an enthusiastic young kid swinging through a vine (I think.) The caption?

“Jungala. The jungle that plays with you.”

Ummm. Ewww.

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**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/145 "2008-06-17T23:58:21Z")

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[QUOTE=AlwaysFresh]  
Reminds me of something. My ex-hubby works in the movie industry here in Toronto and his job is to occasionally drive “honey wagons” to location shoots (honey wagons are portable washrooms for the actors/whoever).

Honey wagon? Still makes me laugh.  
[/QUOTE]

In Seattle, portajohns are called “Honey Buckets”.

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/146 "2008-06-18T00:13:14Z")

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And I always thought that the honey wagons were the trucks that _pumped out_ the porta-potties.

(“Honey? Should this honey be blue?”)

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**Author:** ![xanthous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/147 "2008-06-18T00:33:36Z")

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I haven seen it plastered on a billboard in 7296pt type lately, but Washington Mutual’s “Whoo-hoo!” slogan has always bugged the crap out of me. Come to find out, they originally wanted to use “Woo-hoo” but it was already trademarked, so they decided to spell it “whoo-hoo” instead. Man, I woulda just come up with something else instead of obviously misspelling a very popular saying…

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**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/148 "2008-06-18T02:45:24Z")

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[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]  
The one that pisses me off the most is the on in the ads for the breast cancer walk, where some woman says,

**I never got a say in whether I wanted to lose my mom.**

So what if you DID get a say? Would you have still picked “yes?” Would you have had to think about it for a bit? 😕

[/QUOTE]

“Cake or death?”

Cake, thank you. :dubious:

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**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/149 "2008-06-18T05:43:50Z")

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[QUOTE=sinjin]  
“Cake or death?”

Cake, thank you. :dubious:  
[/QUOTE]

“Well, we’re out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn’t expect such a rush. So what do you want?”

Wait, so my choice is 'or death’? I’ll have the chicken then, please.

“Taste of human, sir. Would you like a white wine? There you go, thank you very much.”

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**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/150 "2008-06-18T11:56:52Z")

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[QUOTE=Mark Ryle]  
The best slogan ever could very well be “BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine.” Yet at the same time I could argue it’s become as malapropos, in some cases, as “Chevrolet - An American Revolution.”  
[/QUOTE]

At one point Mazda’s had a pitch that was “an intense commitment to your total satisfaction.” That works for me on many levels. 😛

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**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/151 "2008-06-23T16:26:07Z")

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[QUOTE=MacTech]  
So they serve Soylent Green? or are their clientele zombies?  
[/QUOTE]

Polenta Green is made from Italians!

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**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/152 "2008-06-23T17:14:30Z")

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[QUOTE=CanvasShoes]  
of their clothing lines as "easy dressing, or easy to wear " bugs me no end. Is there clothing that is difficult to wear or put on?  
[/QUOTE]

Underwire bras.

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**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/153 "2008-06-24T00:58:30Z")

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[QUOTE=BobLibDem]  
I forget which cigarette company it was, but back when 100mm cigarettes were first coming out, their slogan was “It’s not how long you make it, it’s how you make it long”!  
[/QUOTE]  
I remember that one from my misspent youth! IMHO, that’s one of the better commercial slogans ever - even if cigarettes eventually vanish from the face of the earth, it’ll still be a true saying. 🙂

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**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/154 "2008-06-24T01:06:05Z")

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Toyota’s new slogan is “Moving Forward.” They must have the devil of a time getting out of parking spaces.

Of course, if they’re always moving forward, I guess they don’t park at all. Maybe they just slow down to an imperceptible crawl to take on or drop off passengers. 🙂  
I guess “Moving forward, except when we throw the car into reverse, or come to a full stop” would have been even less effective as a slogan.

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**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/155 "2008-06-24T13:15:25Z")

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[QUOTE=RTFirefly]  
Toyota’s new slogan is “Moving Forward.” They must have the devil of a time getting out of parking spaces.

Of course, if they’re always moving forward, I guess they don’t park at all. Maybe they just slow down to an imperceptible crawl to take on or drop off passengers. 🙂  
I guess “Moving forward, except when we throw the car into reverse, or come to a full stop” would have been even less effective as a slogan.  
[/QUOTE]

If you’re always moving forward, eventually you’re going to run out of land and that pricey little import’s going to end up at the bottom of the ocean.

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**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2008, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/156 "2008-06-24T16:46:14Z")

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[QUOTE=Sunspace]  
I’m sure I’ve seen trucks from Fluke Transport here in Ontario with the slogan, “If it’s on time, it’s a Fluke”.

We often use Fluke Instruments multimeters at work, and of course the standard remark was, “If it works, it’s a Fluke!”

(Two separate companies, by the way.)  
[/QUOTE]  
[Miracle Chimney Sweeps.](http://www.miraclesweeps.org/)  
_If it’s a clean sweep, it’s a Miracle!_

To be fair, that slogan is only used by a theatrical troupe at the Dickens Christmas Fair, but there is company called Miracle Chimney Sweep & Gun Sales in Virginia. No idea what their slogan is. Perhaps “Shoot the soot with Miracle”?

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**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/157 "2008-06-24T17:11:32Z")

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[QUOTE=CanvasShoes]  
It’s not a slogan, but the QVC assurances on some of their clothing lines as "easy dressing, or easy to wear " bugs me no end. Is there clothing that is difficult to wear or put on?  
[/QUOTE]

Spoken like someone who has never put on a pair of pantyhose.

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**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-company-slogans-that-just-rubs-you-the-wrong-way/452473/158 "2008-06-29T10:47:14Z")

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A U.K. construction company called Warings has as its Health and Safety slogan(and which is plastered all over its stuff)is …

Can you hear voices?  
I think that the idea is that if you are just about to deliberately cut through a live power cable before walking off of the end of scaffolding at twelve stories you will hear a voice telling you not to.  
Be a bit of a pisser if instead the voices in my head tell me to run amok with an axe because all of my workmates are really vampires.  
I’ll bet that the genius who came up with the slogan got a very good payout for his creativity.

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