# Strange fortune cookies anyone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339 "2009-09-16T16:52:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/1 "2009-09-16T16:52:43Z")
The wife and I went out to chinese food after a long day in the ER (not for either of us, but everything turned out okay). At the end of the meal, we were a little unsure of whether we wanted to open our fortune cookies. I have already forgotten mine, but we really got a kick out of hers which read… “Something good is about to happy.” Yes, that is correct. Something good is about to happy. We are still laughing about this, wondering what our future holds for us. Has anyone else out there received any strange fortunes? ---
**Author:** ![AnnaLucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@AnnaLucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaLucretia)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/2 "2009-09-16T17:12:22Z")
I got one once that just said “smile when you’re ready”. I honestly didn’t know what to do… ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/3 "2009-09-16T17:42:29Z")
“Think of danger while things are going smoothly.” Gee, thanks dessert! ---
**Author:** ![xanthous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/4 "2009-09-16T18:14:10Z")
“You are doomed to be happy in matrimony” ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/5 "2009-09-16T18:28:42Z")
After totally gorging ourselves at a Chinese buffet, my extremely out-of-shape then-boyfriend got something to the effect of: “It is time to re-think your exercise routine.” Mildly offensive; entirely accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/6 "2009-09-16T19:03:55Z")
Since the thread I started went down like a rock… My brother got a cookie the other week with two fortunes. The extra slip was printed off center, and said “ **Oops. Wrong cookie** ” in tiny letters. Very surreal. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/7 "2009-09-16T19:17:41Z")
Well, there’s the old trick of saying “in bed” after reading the fortune (turns a large percentage of them into something at least mildly humorous). When my grandmother-in-law read “new business opportunities await you”, we all howled. “Gramma, we didn’t know you were into that line of work!”. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/8 "2009-09-16T19:31:29Z")
> [@xanthous](#): > > “You are doomed to be happy in matrimony” Hey, two friends of mine reported that one as well! ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/9 "2009-09-16T19:33:46Z")
“You will buy a new pair of pants” is so far the best one among my circle of friends. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/10 "2009-09-17T19:29:05Z")
I once got a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside (Not that uncommon I realize). What was unique was how the messages related to each other. The first was entirely complimentary - Roughly, from memory the first message read: “Your friends love you, your coworkers respect you, you balance your great wisdom with great kindness” The second one read “Don’t beleive everything you read” ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/11 "2009-09-17T21:54:50Z")
My latest said: “Don’t Panic.” I had to pass it around. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/12 "2009-09-17T23:42:22Z")
Once my mother got one that read “Potato.” ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/13 "2009-09-18T00:09:00Z")
“Life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/14 "2009-09-19T02:55:26Z")
Included with the Penn & Teller book “How To Play With Your Food” are cut-out fortunes for use when visiting Chinese restaurants: Yes, that lump really is cancer. Monkey Man will _make_ you believe! ---
**Author:** ![NRichards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@NRichards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NRichards)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/15 "2009-09-20T04:25:46Z")
The oddest one I’ve gotten read “Apple a day keeps the cancer away”. Bizarre ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/16 "2009-09-20T08:49:52Z")
My co-workers and I have a running joke about “sweet time” Basically, “sweet time” is when you are being lazy and not doing any work. We had been invited to have lunch with our most important customer, along with our VP. We had Chinese food. I opened my fortune cookie after the meal to find: “Go take a break. You deserve it.” This fortune is the epitome of “sweet time”. I assume our VP had a hard time explaining to our Japanese guests why we were laughing so hard. ---
**Author:** ![TheMadHun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@TheMadHun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMadHun)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/17 "2009-09-20T23:04:31Z")
I had one that said “A good friend” ---
**Author:** ![Heckity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Heckity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heckity)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/18 "2009-09-20T23:10:03Z")
**Mama Zappa** we played that game at a work lunch. Everyone read their fortune, followed by “in bed”. One older woman kept her head down and eyes averted, until someone got her fortune and read aloud . . . “The best love is self love . . . in bed”. We howled, she was mortified. ---
**Author:** ![jacob\_wrestling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/76d3ee/32.png) [@jacob\_wrestling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacob_wrestling)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/19 "2009-09-20T23:18:45Z")
“Enjoy yourself while you can.” Wise, as well as wonderfully ominous. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339/20 "2009-09-21T02:11:56Z")
This summer I got “Now is a wise time to invest in real estate.” I think a professional fortune writer somewhere is having trouble selling his house, and wants to push the market a little. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-fortune-cookies-anyone/510339.md?page=2)