# Strange things you say when you're half-asleep **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2002, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062 "2002-05-09T12:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/21 "2002-05-09T21:18:34Z")
Once, a bunch of my friends and I were having a weekend retreat. We were all at breakfast the day after we got to the retreat, and my friend was trying to wake my brother up. My friend came in to breakfast, and asked me whether I was aware that my brother talked in his sleep. No, I replied, what did he say? Apparently, my friend was trying to wake my brother up, and my brother said, “Ow, ow, ow!” 😕 It wasn’t like my friend was using violent tactics to wake him up, either! (as if he’d ever do that!) ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/22 "2002-05-09T21:30:10Z")
I normally don’t talk in my sleep, but my wife tells me that on the night after my grandfather passed away, I asked for him in my sleep (I didn’t remember the dream when I awoke). Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/23 "2002-05-09T21:43:54Z")
On a road trip with some buddies, apparently I let out a loud snort (which is odd since I don’t snore) in my sleep one night, waking both of them up. One muttered “What the hell was that?” According to them, I simply said “I grunted,” and kept on sleeping. ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/24 "2002-05-09T22:48:01Z")
Well, I haven’t got anyone around to tell me if I talk in my sleep or not, but I do keep a notebook by the side of my bed just in case I happen to get inspired. A few weeks ago I awoke to find this scrawled sideways across the paper: _blow the minds of universe girls stumble along and stroke harder. Every movement is from god the almighty. masterpieces of fuel and security blankets barrel girls only_ This is well on its way to being great literature, I’m sure… ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/25 "2002-05-09T23:47:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > \*\*I’ve done this when I’m sort of half-awake, usually in the early morning. > > Once, I spent five minutes telling my wife how she could get to a certain bookstore to find a magazine she was looking for. Or at least, that I thought she was looking for. > > Another time I scared the crap out of my girlfriend by sitting bolt upright in bed, hollering “NO! WAIT FOR ME!” and then dropping back down and going back to sleep like nothing had happened. \*\* Wife & girlfriend? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/26 "2002-05-10T01:03:41Z")
I don’t know what I talk about in my sleep. My mother claims that she used to carry on conversations with me though. The ex BF once had this whole rhyme he said in his sleep…“mutton and scrod, mutton and scrod…all you need’s a sheep and a fishing rod”. He repeated it for about an hour one night. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/27 "2002-05-10T03:08:37Z")
According to a friend of mine who was sleeping on my couch while I was passed out on the floor, I sat up and quite calmly said, “Randomness, It’s all randomness.” I found that so amusing it’s been one of my favorite quotes (along with the one as my sig). And over spring break me and a friend were sleeping on two couchs in the living room of a condo. I went out for walks in the middle of the night quite frequently due to the wonderful weather of the time. I came inside, sat down on one couch and started to doze when my friend started screaming at me, “TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!! TURN OFF THE TV!! TURN OFF THE TV NOW!!! NOW!!!” The T.V. (along with any other electrical devices) hadn’t been on for more than 5 hours. I still bug him about that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/28 "2002-05-10T04:52:20Z")
My mom told me how she woke up in a college class one day 25 years ago with “So hard to stay awake” scrawled across her notes. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/29 "2002-05-10T05:05:39Z")
I had a friend staying over once who nodded off early while I was still up and futzing about. Suddenly…out of nowhere–I heard him sit up. I turned to look at him–and he was staring back at me, eyes wide, like he had seen a ghost. He began rubbing and clawing at his own face, while letting out a half-shouted moan that sounded like some kinda zombie waking up… Then he calmly blinked, laid back down, and resumed his soft, peaceful snoring. Nothing was said. But damned if it wasn’t strange… I never told him about it, either. 😜 ---
**Author:** ![drewcosten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@drewcosten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewcosten)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/30 "2002-05-10T05:26:12Z")
People have told me that they have had whole (coherent) conversations with me after I’ve fallen asleep which I have no recollection of the next morning (and apparently I appeared wide awake while having them). However my story is a friend who would sleep over. One night when I was just passing out he sat up (in the bunkbed across the room from mine), grabbed the wall, yelled NO!!! at the top of his lungs while slamming his head into said wall, and going back to sleep. That morning he also apparently climbed down and punched his brother (also sleeping over) in the nose then went back to bed (all in his sleep, his brother wasn’t). ---
**Author:** ![Chupacabra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chupacabra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chupacabra)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/31 "2002-05-10T10:08:07Z")
I am infamous for episodes like this. I never remember any of them, so I just have to take other people’s word for it, but apparently I talk in my sleep all the time. My college roommate told me that one night, when he was up late studying, I sat bolt upright in bed and asked him if he was “sage”. Confused by my question, my roommate asked me if I meant that he was wise. I said yes and then said “turn off the damn light” and went back to sleep. Just a few weeks ago, my wife tells me that she woke up in the middle of the night to see me standing in the middle of the bedroom in my underwear with a rolled up TV Guide in my hands. She asked me what I was doing and I responded, " I have to deliver the mail". ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/32 "2002-05-10T11:49:07Z")
My sister used to do multiplication tables in her sleep, and would answer simple math questions as well. Apparently, all I ever say in my sleep is, “It’s not real.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/33 "2002-05-10T12:28:30Z")
When our Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup] has to work late and we go to bed early, we ask her to wake us and let us know when she gets home. On a couple of occasions, she’s come in and had conversations with her dad - I’ve heard them - then go to bed. He’ll wake up the next morning, all ticked off that she didn’t check in when she came home. She’s threatened to come in and say “Daddy, I’m pregnant” but I suggested that giving daddy a heart attack is not a good idea… ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/34 "2002-05-10T12:52:56Z")
How about this for dual nocturnal brain farts. Once my girlfriend sat bolt upright from a deep sleep and exclaimed “It’s in an attack posture! I think it’s going to charge!!” and I, just as sound asleep next to her, lept up, grabbed a baseball bat next to the bed (rash of burglaries in the neighborhood) and was in the living room before it occured to me I had no idea what I was doing. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/35 "2002-05-10T13:49:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\* > > Wife & girlfriend? :eek: \*\* The incidents were seperated by a decent interval, **World Eater**. I wasn’t married when the second story happened. No worries. 😉 Zap! ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/36 "2002-05-10T16:40:01Z")
This doesn’t involve actual speaking (well, unless you count the screaming), but I figured I’d share anyways… About 8 years ago I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back into my deep sleep. In a haze, I thought that perhaps fluffing up my pillow would help me out in my quest. So I sat up, reached behind me, fluffed up my pillow, and dove back down to bed. Except that apparently I _hadn’t_ been fluffing my pillow behind me. I’d been fluffing it **next** to me. So when I threw my head back, I was rudely intercepted by my gnarly desk chair and by the corner of said accompanying desk. I don’t think my mom has been closer to having a heart attack than when she heard my resulting screams. ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/37 "2002-05-10T17:18:26Z")
My mother, who worked morning shift at a hospital and therefore had to get up at an ungodly hour, once shook my father awake to inform him that her car wouldn’t start. His reply? “That’s because the reindeer’s driving.” ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/38 "2002-05-10T17:23:18Z")
I’m good at having conversations while half-asleep and then going back to sleep and not remembering them later when I’m fully awake. I also talk in my sleep, though according to my roommates, very little of it is intelligible. My roommate mutters insanely in her sleep. We probably have extremely interesting conversations we just can’t remember. However, my roommate got worried about me one day when her alarm clock went off and she wasn’t getting up fast enough to suit me and I groaned, “Moooooorgan, turn it oooooofffff…” She said I sounded like I was in tears and she had to check to make sure I was okay, at which point I told her to f\*\*\* off and turn off the alarm. I don’t remember this; I think she’s making it up. ---
**Author:** ![DocHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DocHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocHopper)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/39 "2002-05-10T18:38:30Z")
I used to be a financial analyst for an evil, obsessively cost-cutting bank whose mantra was to “grow revenues faster than expenses”. One night as I was half-asleep, my wife asked me “Do you love me?” “Yesss…” “Why?” “You grow revenues faster than expenses…” Hilarity ensued ---
**Author:** ![friggae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/45deac/32.png) [@friggae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friggae)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062/40 "2002-05-10T20:12:11Z")
In college, I spent about 10 hours studying for an anatomy quiz the next day about muscles - their names, placement, places of attachment. I went to sleep before my SO and after a few hours I came into the living room, went to the TV and started staring at and messing with all the wires in the back while repeatedly asking him “Where does the neck muscle attach?” He says I was quite pissed that he couldn’t answer me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strange-things-you-say-when-youre-half-asleep/108062.md?page=3)