# Strangling the bishop: what do you do after? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 9, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285 "2008-06-09T01:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/61 "2008-06-10T11:54:56Z")
Put Grandma’s hand back. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/62 "2008-06-10T13:18:58Z")
Does no-one else just go directly on the sheet, if it’s going to be washed the next day anyway? Oddly, however, though I’m happy to sleep in my own baby batter, I have never used clothes (excepting the boxers I’m wearing) unless they are about to be thrown away for good. I’m not a fan of the shower as the stuff seems to solidify somehow and be tricky to wash off. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/63 "2008-06-10T14:06:35Z")
[QUOTE=Omniscient] If you are in a state where aiming is a practical solution you are doing it wrong. Let the chips fall where they may and deal with the consequences when you’re regained your composure. [/QUOTE] I can see this for sex, but how much composure do you actually lose for a bit of a wank? Occasionally I’ll get really into a jerk off session, but most of the time it’s just a quick little release, no more than a few minutes, and it’s done. I don’t need to get all that into it most of the time, and my composure stays pretty well intact. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo\_Pin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mojo\_Pin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo_Pin)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/64 "2008-06-10T15:09:34Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] [Retrograde ejaculation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrograde_ejaculation) - You may want to rethink forcing semen into the bladder via the outlet. Si [/QUOTE] :eek: I have some soul searching to do. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/65 "2008-06-10T15:32:23Z")
[QUOTE=Savannah] Do you hold the absorbent material right up against the throbbing bishop, or do you aim the bishop’s holy water at the material? [/QUOTE] I’m an aimer, then a wiper. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/66 "2008-06-10T16:03:32Z")
After strangling the bishop I usually arrange his corpse in the [cathedra](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedra) in full vestments, place a copy of my manifesto in the hand not holding the crozier, and desecrate the altar with pig’s blood. 😕 Doesn’t everybody? ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/67 "2008-06-10T18:40:52Z")
[QUOTE=Mojo Pin] :eek: I have some soul searching to do. [/QUOTE] Don’t give up on the kegels, though. It does improve things. Just don’t use the PC muscles to retain ejaculate. Si ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/68 "2008-06-10T21:46:22Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Don’t give up on the kegels, though. It does improve things. [/QUOTE] Just ask Peter North. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/69 "2008-06-11T01:58:15Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] Just ask Peter North. [/QUOTE] Oh, and on the subject of thread posting/username combos, I think **KneadtoKnow** is a pretty good one for this thread. Actually, come to think of it, in the right light there are tons of people who post in masturbation threads who could have jokes made about their usernames. Maybe someone should start a thread about that… ---
**Author:** ![Mojo\_Pin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mojo\_Pin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo_Pin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/70 "2008-06-11T09:12:11Z")
[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed] Oh, and on the subject of thread posting/username combos, I think **KneadtoKnow** is a pretty good one for this thread. Actually, come to think of it, in the right light there are tons of people who post in masturbation threads who could have jokes made about their usernames. Maybe someone should start a thread about that… [/QUOTE] I deny any and all allegations, intended or otherwise, that my johnson johnson resembles a \*pin \*in any respect, by any stretch of the imagination. I do like to think it’s got some mojo though. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/71 "2008-06-11T13:12:28Z")
[QUOTE=Mojo Pin] I deny any and all allegations, intended or otherwise, that my johnson johnson resembles a \*pin \*in any respect [/QUOTE] See, I woulda gone with the bowling pin comparison. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/72 "2008-06-11T23:54:17Z")
When I had my own place, I just shot into the sheets and washed them later. Now that I’m homeless, it requires a tiny bit more planning. It’ isn’t simple masturbating in a huge room with a few hundred other guys. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285/73 "2008-06-12T00:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] After strangling the bishop I usually arrange his corpse in the [cathedra](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedra) in full vestments, place a copy of my manifesto in the hand not holding the crozier, and desecrate the altar with pig’s blood. [/QUOTE] Well, if [the body of Christ compels you…](http://www.mylifetime.com/files/imagecache/photo_gallery_featured/files/images/e-gall-theexorcist-395x298.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/strangling-the-bishop-what-do-you-do-after/452285.md?page=3)