# Straws Suck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 24, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807 "2003-03-24T16:54:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJ555_The_Golfer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/1 "2003-03-24T16:54:05Z")
Yeah, that’s right straws suck because they don’t suck. I am a lazy man and if straws would suck then they wouldn’t suck. Can’t someone invent a straw that doesn’t suck by making it suck? Whose idea was it to allow straws to continue to suck by not making them suck? I am sure we will hear from the straw defenders saying straws do suck and therefore don’t suck, but come on. I am the one that sucks, the straw doesn’t suck so the straws sucks. Everyday I wake up hoping to hear about a straw that doesn’t suck because it sucks and I never hear about it. Now, that sucks. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/2 "2003-03-24T17:16:16Z")
This rant sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/3 "2003-03-24T17:36:22Z")
My wife doesn’t suck either, but she doesn’t deserve a lame ass pit thread… _OR…_ My fan blows. It blows because all it does is blow… Screw it, it’s just not worth the effort. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/4 "2003-03-24T18:15:53Z")
Yeesh, talk about your cries for help, or clues. . . ---
**Author:** ![TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJ555_The_Golfer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/5 "2003-03-24T19:16:35Z")
I see the straw defenders are here in full force. Are you paid by the Straw Council of America? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/6 "2003-03-24T19:34:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TJ555 The Golfer \* > \*\*I see the straw defenders are here in full force. Are you paid by the Straw Council of America? \*\* That’s a straw man argument if ever I’ve heard one. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/7 "2003-03-24T20:00:01Z")
Don’t they still teach proper straw operation procedures in nursury school any more? Or were you absent that day? ---
**Author:** ![Sqube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Sqube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqube)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/8 "2003-03-24T20:11:50Z")
The first thing I thought of when I saw this thread was “That’s the idea”. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/9 "2003-03-24T20:18:11Z")
In protest of this thread, I hereby rename all my straws, Freedom Straws. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/10 "2003-03-24T20:35:59Z")
Straws don’t suck, people! People suck, people! Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/11 "2003-03-24T20:49:31Z")
This rant both sucks _and_ blows. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/12 "2003-03-24T21:58:26Z")
Straws don’t suck, People suck! [sub]but I think the straw helps…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/13 "2003-03-24T23:08:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*Don’t they still teach proper straw operation procedures in nursury school any more? Or were you absent that day? \*\* Yeah Golfer, how did you get that pea-brain of yours into your head? You dumb fuck! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/14 "2003-03-25T01:10:00Z")
“Why, you look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!” ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/15 "2003-03-25T01:38:39Z")
Did anyone else think this was going to be about Jack Straw? ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/16 "2003-03-25T04:38:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* straws suck \*\* Yeah, well, vacuums suck harder. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/17 "2003-03-25T04:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by asterion \* > \*\*Did anyone else think this was going to be about Jack Straw? \*\* You beat me to that! and yes, I think he sucks too. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/18 "2003-03-25T08:42:41Z")
With regard to vacuum cleaners, if it needs cleaning that would mean that it contained something (dirt), therefore I say you are NOT in fact dealing with a vacuum, so we should all refer to them correctly, I will take nominations here for the new name. I had a beer…hee hee Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/19 "2003-03-25T11:59:23Z")
[stupid geeky hijack]Straws don’t suck, really, everything else _blows_[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807/20 "2003-03-25T20:25:41Z")
Actually, if everything else blew, then straws _would_ suck by comparison. In theory, not having cable sucks, but I can’t figure out which side of the tv to stand on for it to work. I’ll keep you posted. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straws-suck/163807.md?page=2)