# Stream Dreams Blow up pigs and Turksploitation, a tale of Amsterdam **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330 "2001-03-17T03:07:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/41 "2001-03-20T16:25:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > **Would someone mind filling me** The joys of selective quoting. šŸ˜‰ Iā€™ll respond later on in more detail. As it is, Iā€™m at work, and it doesnā€™t look like thereā€™s gonna be much playtime anytime soon. Glad you all made it home safe! Except for hibernicus. Sweet Mother of God, what the hell?? I can honestly tell you that Iā€™ve never heard a story like that in the four years Iā€™ve lived in Aā€™dam. Iā€™ll echo the outstanding sentiments: glad you made it out in one piece. Was it just your wallet you ended up missing? Bad enough, of course, but your jewelry and your passport would have been worse. Yikes, what a story! The rest of all yā€™all youse guys: thanks for thanking me - but the pleasure was all mine. You were great guests! Twisty, should we reveal the details of your shady story? You know, the one about literature of a questionable nature, repressed sexual urges enflamed by ludicrous Guinness consumption, and a late 70ā€™s three seater couch? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/42 "2001-03-20T16:43:43Z")
Coldy - I say again: DETAILS! I WANT DETAILS! Does that answer yer question on revealing Twistyā€™s shady story? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/43 "2001-03-20T17:45:12Z")
Ok, let President Twisty clarify the alegations made against himā€¦ 1. Yes, I did buy some illicit reading material in a certain section of Amsterdam. 2. Yes, it was in my possession upon arrival at Casa Coldy. 3. There was no indecent act performed by anyone that evening at Casa Coldy. 4. Ajax winning 9-0 was a sight to behold. 5. I swore I wouldnā€™t fall asleep, but unfortunately I did. I have no further comment at this time, any further questions will only be answered upon reciept of a crisp Ā£50 pound note. Falc, I could tell you a lot more, but Iā€™d only be making it up. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/44 "2001-03-20T17:52:57Z")
Home. Finally. Bleh! I love spending time in airports and 3 hours in Detroit hotels. More later. P.S. Had a Blast!!! ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/45 "2001-03-20T21:16:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Team Diane is on the road (and presumably lost) Oh Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, THAT is an understatement! Ya know that supposed 5 hour drive from Ramstein? After we got the boot off the van (good for a laugh, and _I_ didnā€™t have to pay the fine), we started out on our almost 8 hour trip. I had kinda, sorta decided to take a detour through France. I wonā€™t mention that Kraig absolutely SUCKED as a co-pilot. I would have been better off having Mr. Bean sitting shotgun. :rolleyes: What a great time! Itā€™s a damn good thing I was there to keep Dave and John from taking my youngest for a tatoo. It will take a while to de-corrupt the poor kid. Plans WERE being made to marry John off to my daughter until he started telling me his moves to get into ladies knickers. I gotta say though, he knows his stuff. I still think they are two of a kind, so maybe Iā€™ll fix them up as long as I am lurking close. Anyhow, for those of you who have never had the chance of meeting the Amsterdopers, Iā€™ll just say that you have really missed out on meeting some wonderful people! Witty, pants peeing funny, charming, gorgeous ladies and adorable guys! (I am still not sure about two of them, since I mostly saw the backs of their heads). We have to do it again soon! Maybe a ski trip to Utah? Iā€™ll be seeing you soon Andy. Maybe Iā€™ll let you kick my ass in darts. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![hibernicus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hibernicus/32/2802_2.png) [@hibernicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hibernicus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/46 "2001-03-20T21:54:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Except for hibernicus. Sweet Mother of God, what the hell?? I can honestly tell you that Iā€™ve never heard a story like that in the four years Iā€™ve lived in Aā€™dam. Iā€™ll echo the outstanding sentiments: glad you made it out in one piece. Was it just your wallet you ended up missing? Bad enough, of course, but your jewelry and your passport would have been worse. Yikes, what a story! > \*\* Okay, enough already; I wasnā€™t mugged, I was robbed (someone ran off with my bag which I recovered after a short, rather undignified fight in the street), Iā€™m fine, I did not lose _anything_ and was not injured. Lucky, yes, but all in all that part of the evening didnā€™t stand out as particularly strange. Thank you all very much for your concern, though! tater, I didnā€™t get your mail until today, sorry! ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/47 "2001-03-20T22:55:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Ok, let President Twisty clarify the alegations made against himā€¦ > \*\* \*\*Order ! Order !! \*\* Let the cross-examination commence Would you tell the Court the full names of these publications ? In your own words, would you tell the Court why our esteemed host for the weekend ā€“ by common consensus, a man of considerable insight, judgement and integrity ā€“ would assume the purchase of said material might lead to a knuckle shuffle on his premises (as in: Youā€™re _not_ wanking on my couch, mateā€)? Notes taken contemporaneously state you claimed ā€œIā€™m buying them for a friendā€. Do you still standby this transparent tissue of lies or are you now prepared, under oath, to come clean (as it were, Matron) and acknowledge these publications were purchased for your own sordid, nee perverted use ? Isnā€™t it true, Mr TwistofFate, that late Sunday evening was, in fact, the culmination of a series of cruel twists of fate that finally, inevitably and catastrophically caused you to crack, to finally fall apart. It had been after all, hadnā€™t it, an endless cycle of drink, falling over, only partial success with drunk Irish lasses and, finally, the realisation that a rendezvous with a certain 17 year old (name withheld for legal reasons) would not take place that led you to this act. Was **that** final realisation, in FACT, the final straw - a straw cast to the wind at that late hour in the squalid back streets of a city of sin and against a backdrop of pornography, sex shows, Banana Bars and naked grllls ā€“ that led you to upon the road to hell ?? Speak up Mr TwistofFate, the jury need to hear what you have to say. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/48 "2001-03-21T02:29:31Z")
Answer the question, mr TwistofFate. The Court awaits your explanation. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/49 "2001-03-21T05:11:56Z")
Scandal, schmandal. I already know everything, and itā€™s nothing to be concerned about, folks. I would say the Rollicking Adventures of **hibernicus** would probably make a better story. šŸ˜‰ Although there was _one_ event that troubled me somewhatā€¦no, troubled is not quite the word. Hmm. Funny how you just canā€™t think of the right words when you need them. Iā€™m sure they will come to me soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/50 "2001-03-21T11:32:55Z")
1. These publications were for friends, which were promptly delivered upon arrival at Dublin. They were not for myself, as well, not to boast or anything, but I dont really need them. President Twisty stands by his word. I did not have sexual relations on that couch. If we want to discuss sordid secretsā€¦ May we ask what Mr Calling, (London), has to say for himself regarding Saturday morning, and his apparent attire for answering the door? Can he instruct us on his cunning plan to see a show for free at a certain ā€œestablishmentā€? hmm. hmmmā€¦ Curiouser and Curiouser. Mr. Calling, please take the floor, and try not to spray the room with anything šŸ˜ƒ (Anthracite, what were you concerned about?? :)) ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/51 "2001-03-21T12:32:24Z")
:::enters witness stand, clears throat::: Please take that bible away, Iā€™ve brought a copy of ā€œTriumph of the Straight Dopeā€ instead. Not allowed ? Whoā€™s taking an oath here, you or me ? Sheesh. Sorry, I mean Sheesh, your honour. Yeahyeahyeah, the truth and nothing but, could we move along ? Right, this is what happened: On or about 04:00 on Sunday morning, I reluctantly approached Casa Coldy where I was unfortunate enough to share a room with the defendant. The defendant was indeed laying on the aforementioned couch, but there were no signs of wanking or wanking-like activities. Nor, for that matter, did I observe activities connected with the preparation for wanking (such as, but not limited to, removal of trousers). No jazz mags were in view, and apart from an inflatable pig, there was nothing to indicate that any activities of a libidinous character had taken place. And finally, there was no sign of post-wanking activities, the details of which Iā€™d rather not go into. Well, your honour, the sort of activities sometimes involving Cleenex or other sorts of tissue paper. If youā€™d rather not know, why do you ask ? The defendant was, as stated, sprawled on the couch, looking remarkably relaxed. However, I estimate (as a layman, but, being male and normal, a layman with - ehm - first-hand experience of wanking) that the defendant was not demonstrating any interest in said activity. As a matter of fact, I could see no sign of interest in anything at all. For instance, the defendant had shown no interest in removing his shoes before crashing on the couch. Furthermore, had the defendant demonstrated an interest for the aforementioned activity, I remain firmly convinced that he would be unable to wank worth a damn, due to a state of inebriation worthy of an Irishman around St. Patricks day. May I leave the stand, your honour ? Thank you. ::: Leaves stand, looks around, recognizes a face and is immediately lost to the world::: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/52 "2001-03-21T13:07:27Z")
Thanks spiny, the cheque is in the mail. ooops. Next trial. The people vs. wierddave Trial of the two Finnish Chicks. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/53 "2001-03-21T13:57:54Z")
Objection, your honor. the prosecution has presented NO evidence that they have any sort of case. I move that the charges be dismissed. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/54 "2001-03-21T14:03:51Z")
I actually have some evidence in my wallet. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/55 "2001-03-21T14:18:29Z")
\<ā€¦meanwhile, back to Court Room One: The People vs. TwistofFateā€¦ā€¦\> Hang onā€¦I said **HANG ON** a cotton pickinā€™ minute !! If ever there were two people in the world likely to collaborate their stories after the weekend _they_ had (huh **Spiny**?), it would be these two. I mean the witness was so cross-eyed by the end of Sunday, Iā€™m surprised he could walk straight let alone ride a motorbike around Europe in a snowstorm. There were **two** publications, the Defendant and Witness were **alone** in the room and **both** had the motive (in their different ways). In all probability these two ā€˜charactersā€™ colluded in a DopeFest WankFest of gargantuan proportions ā€“ did the scene of crime officers check the ceiling ? . Let the record show that the witness is unreliable, not to mention emotionally distraught and is suffering (under the particular circumstances of this case) testicals the size of basketballs. The Prosecution rests its case on the basis that the Defendant has failed to answer a single question, choosing instead to besmirch the _unstained_ character of the Prosecutor. And let it be known that if the Defendant should ever use the word ā€˜sprayingā€™ in the context of the Prosecutor _ever_ again he will not be in a position to conduct the outlined sordid activities _ever_ again šŸ˜ƒ \<ā€¦meanwhile, back in Court Room Twoā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/56 "2001-03-21T14:33:24Z")
I think we should start the TMI thread again, bearing in mind the horrendous information shared at the tabe in the Indian restaurant. The 2 magazines were called ā€œBussenā€ and ā€œhotbabesā€. There was no besmirching Coldyā€™s room. you have no evidence to the contrary and your case is a joke. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/57 "2001-03-21T15:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > **Let the record show that the witness is unreliable, not to mention emotionally distraught and is suffering (under the particular circumstances of this case) testicals the size of basketballs.** Oh My! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/58 "2001-03-21T15:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*I think we should start the TMI thread again, bearing in mind the horrendous information shared at the tabe in the Indian restaurant. > \*\* I think it is in everyoneā€™s best interest that this statement is forgotten as soon as possible, if only to protect poor the **messiah** who didnā€™t know better at the timeā€¦ [sub]Not to mention poor yours truly[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/59 "2001-03-21T15:38:21Z")
Forget Messiah, L\_Cā€™s story is the one that blew me away, and so did the fact that Shayna and Sassy just kinda shrugged it off! My kinda wimmins! ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330/60 "2001-03-21T15:45:50Z")
Wellā€¦yes, but L\_C is on trial here, so he doesnā€™t count. I just want to make sure here that a lot of innocent souls wonā€™t be damaged because of all the smut that can come of such a testimony (including yours I might add, Dave, although that didnā€™t sound too innocent). So, out of self preservation, I think we should skip to the next part of the trial: judgement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stream-dreams-blow-up-pigs-and-turksploitation-a-tale-of-amsterdam/58330.md?page=4)