So 500 miles walking at a rather slow pace means I’m about 3 weeks from civilization, right? Yeah, I think I could hack that, depending of course on the weather. Can I request a nice June date in the Northern hemisphere for this little experiment? 
1. Make fire
I’ve managed it with the bow method, although it’s not my favorite pastime. Add wet to the picture, and I’m not sure.
2. Make some kind of tool/weapon to enable you to hunt
I think I could manage a primitive spear - thrusting style, not throwing (being as I have no experience straightening wood.) Sharpen it against a rock or something.
3. Set traps
I can make a snare trap, but I don’t know if I can track well enough to find a good place to put it. I’d probably skip this in favor of moving daily - traps you have to stick around to check later.
4. Find water
I don’t know for sure. My instinct would be to get low - follow the contours of the land down - and to look for deer or other animal trails. They gotta drink sometime, right?
5. Find suitable material to cover yourself
Again, depending on the weather, I’m not sure how important this is. If I’m in the woods, I’m not so worried about sunburn. If it’s freezing, I’m sunk anyway. Given a temperate climate, I might simply find a fibrous stem to tie back my hair and enjoy the breeze.
6. Build a shelter of sorts
The weather would be a huge factor here, as well. I wouldn’t know the first thing about felling trees and making planks, nor am I real likely to kill enough large animals for a hide tent. I think I’d mostly look for big fallen trees and sleep in the lee of the roots.
7. Know what vegetation is good to eat and which to avoid
Now here I’m pretty good. I’m going to get really sick of lamb’s quarters, nettles, cleavers and the like, but I’ve got enough fat on me that nutrition isn’t as important as high water content.
8. Avoid dangerous wildlife
Um, I don’t think we have that left here.
9. Build a canoe if you found a stream/river
Nope. But if I found a river, I’d follow it as best I could downstream. Upstream might just lead me into a mountain or spring - downstream could lead me to a coast, and people like to live on coasts.
10. Get back to civilization
Always the plan. I like camping, but I prefer to do it with my Coleman stove and some marshmallows.
When I go out in the woods I do everything I can to prevent waking up naked and tool-less.
You’re starting us off in a tough situation. Depending on the weather (especially here in the northern latitudes) I could be dead from hypothermia in hours. My number one goal is to be rescued or get back to safety as quickly as possible, so many of the things you ask are going to be things I may not do, since they do not further that goal.
But I might do okay.
1. Make fire
I could do this, but it would take a lot of energy since I am going to have to use a bow drill.
2. Make some kind of tool/weapon to enable you to hunt
This going to be low on my priority list, but I could lash a rock into a piece of sapling.
3. Set traps
Fish baskets or dams are probably the most reward for the least work, but this is also low on my priority list.
4. Find water
There is a lot of fresh water in the woods around here, shouldn’t be much of a problem.
**
5. Find suitable material to cover yourself**
That’s a tough one. I fear you’d find me wearing a skirt made of ferns!
6. Build a shelter of sorts
Building a lean-to is pretty simple and is an effective shelter, I have slept in them before.
7. Know what vegetation is good to eat and which to avoid
For most of North America I’d be in good shape here.
8. Avoid dangerous wildlife
Most of the dangerous wildlife isn’t going to be interested in me. Packs of wolves could be a problem, I suppose. Hopefully they have a latent fear of humans.
9. Build a canoe if you found a stream/river
IF I found a suitable section of fallen log I MIGHT be able to burn out the center to form a crude canoe, but that is a lot of effort and work. I might as well walk.
10. Get back to civilization
This is my main focus. For 3 days or so I would stay in the same place and try to build large smoky fires and anything else to attract attention. After 3 days I would begin trying to find a road or river, leaving clues about the direction I was travelling by arranging logs and stones.
Having thought about this I reckon the lack of a knife isn’t such a big deal if you know how to set a decent trap.
If you can do this and snare some fairly large animal you then have bone, better still is managing to catch a deer for the antlers. Both bone and antler would make a pretty decent cutting tool.
Once you have the animal butchered you then have its skin which would form covering and some protection for your soft dangly bits as well as your feet. Of course you also now have food.
Some of this food could be used to bait other traps and before you know it you have enough animal skins to make a coracle as suggested before.
Easy, huh?
Can’t you just flip them around the other way?
You awake to find yourself in the woods, naked with no tools and the nearest habitation is 500 miles either way.
Have you got enough “woodcraftsmanship” to…
-
Make fire
No. -
Make some kind of tool/weapon to enable you to hunt
Huh uh. -
Set traps
Nope. -
Find water
Probably not. -
Find suitable material to cover yourself
Sure couldn’t. -
Build a shelter of sorts
Not likely. -
Know what vegetation is good to eat and which to avoid
Nopedy nope nope nope. -
Avoid dangerous wildlife
Doubt it. -
Build a canoe if you found a stream/river
Not a chance. -
Get back to civilization
Almost positively not.
So - I’m pretty well screwed - and most likely dead! Happy Thursday! 
Oh, yeah, a cinch!
Wait a minute - how are you going to dig a pit trap* for your deer with no shovel? Where do you put it? How do you make sure the deer doesn’t walk around it, all smelling of desperate sweaty human and recently disturbed earth?
*I assume you mean pit trap. A snare made of freshly harvested plant material sure won’t be strong enough for a deer. Unless you had some nylon ripcord stashed up your butt or something.
I know how to set a decent trap, but I would have no I idea how to without a knife. Maybe I could chew through some vines or bash them with a sharp rock. but, anything I could cut or break without a knife would offer little resistence to an angry deer.
Lets say you do snag a deer. Then what? Wait and see who dies of starvation first? Even armed with a knife, it wouldn’t be easy to kill a snared deer - especially one with antlers. But, in the event you constructed some kind of Predator smashing type of trap like Ahnold and you did kill the deer. Then what? Gnaw through the skin to get to bone? Chew off it’s antlers?
Nope, without a knife I’m screwed.
Naked and no tools? I’d freeze to death the first night. This is why I don’t run around naked in the woods without some tools (you don’t want to know where I carry my Leatherman).
Assuming I’m in the Rockies -
- Make fire - Yes, if I survived the first night. It might take a while to find the right rocks or a hardwood around here.
- Make some kind of tool/weapon to enable you to hunt - Probably. Location and time of year matter a bit (finding shed antlers, for instance).
- Set traps - Yes. Fish traps are easier than animal traps, in my experience, but both are doable with the springy wood around here.
- Find water - Easy enough in the mountains
- Find suitable material to cover yourself - Yes. Bark or animal hide.
- Build a shelter of sorts - Yup, since I was 10 or so.
- Know what vegetation is good to eat and which to avoid - pretty much. I know nothing about 'shrooms, so I’d avoid them all, and again it’d have to be this part of the Rockies.
- Avoid dangerous wildlife - Usually. Cougars maybe not, but bears yes.
- Build a canoe if you found a stream/river - Raft count?
- Get back to civilization - Yes, providing I survived long enough.
If I had even the minimum stuff I take on a short hike or picnic, my chances of survival increase astronomically. Folks like Jeremiah Johnson and etc. lived every day in those conditions and I have doubts that more than a very few people in “civilized” countries can even imagine what those people knew, much less duplicate it.
Bolding mine.
Oh yeah, Miss Survival? And where do you keep YOUR nylon ripcord? Huh? HUH?!?!?!
If I was dropped in the middle of nowhere with what I usually have on me, I could survive no sweat. Between the Leatherman Pro, the Leatherman Squirt, the 2 knives and the other junk I carry every day, I could build or fabricate just about anything I’d need to survive, short of the canoe. But it’s a pleasant day, so why not walk out?
You guys ain’t got shovel trees out by you?
Okay, I have time for a more serious answer now. A lot depends in the geography. For example, being naked would be such a serious obstacle in a tropical area as it would be in Wyoming. Finding small game for food would be doable in East Texas, but a major issue in the Mojave. Let’s assume for the sake of argument this is an environment I’m familar with: river bottoms in East Texas. Although, it kind of negates the 500 mile thing.
- Make fire
I would have a problem with this. I know, because I’ve wanted to start a fire before in a non-wilderness environment and I saw how difficult it can be without matches or a lighter. Did you know you can’t easily ignite gasoline by using a grinder to throw sparks into a puddle of it? This is why I make it a point to carry various lighters with me any time I think I’m leaving the pavement.
- Make some kind of tool/weapon to enable you to hunt
Easy enough. There are plenty of plants that make good spear material to get me started. Switch cane is available in my wilderness and it’s makes greate spears and it can be used to build a fish trap, which is probably my best bet for a reliable source of food.
- Set traps
Difficult without tools, but doable.
4. Find water
Water is not a problem if I’m not too picky. Preferable would be a running stream or spring, which may be a little more diificult. There may be a problem with parasites until I build up a tolerance. When I was a kid, I didn’t think twice about dropping onto to ground and drinking straight from a creek.
5. Find suitable material to cover yourself
Doable. My first thought would be to weave something out of switch cane limbs. Deer are the only large animals available (unless I’m allowed to poach on the available livestock) for skins. This is an example of what I mean about the geography.
- Build a shelter of sorts.
Easy enough in my wilderness. If there are trees, I can make a shelter.
- Know what vegetation is good to eat and which to avoid.
Harmfull vegetation is rare in my wilderness. This is another area where geography matters. If you were to drop me in Idaho, I would not be so familiar with the edible plant life.
- Avoid dangerous wildlife
No problem. They will avoid you much better than you will avoid them as long as you stay alert and don’t stumble onto them. In my wilderness, the only dangerous wildlife are snakes and I have to worry about them in non-wilderness life. In Idaho or Montana, I would be more worried about dangerous wildlife avoiding me because I would be looking for them as a source of food.
- Build a canoe if you found a stream/river.
I would consider a raft before a canoe. I really don’t know on this one. The level of difficulty would be driven by the required sturdiness of said watercraft.
- Get back to civilization
If I have items 1-9 covered, what’s the hurry?
Well a couple of tough sticks spring to mind, I mean I am in the woods y’know.
You smear yourself with earth/leaves/other vegetatation to disguise the smell of sweat.
Having trapped your deer you then use your sticks as spears to hack and gouge at the bugger until it’s dead, then open it up.
I’m getting quite good at this
I’m a geek who lives in The Big City. I’d probably be dead by sundown.
In reality, I notice that the plan laid out does not say that I’ll have any medication, so I’ll be a babbling, shivering blob in a couple of days without the thyroid replacement, and *wanting * to die, despite any chances that I am able to make (and sustain) fire and find water.
Well I reckon our Texan friend is better suited to survive than the rest of us…smart ass
Not really. This is something I’ve fantasized about doing since I was a teenager. I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve spent quite a bit of time isolated, but I’ve always had the convenience of tools and the luxury of knowing I could walk to a road within an hour or two.
I can’t emphasize enough how the environment matters. I’ve gone on short hiking trips in the Rockies where I would look around and realize that if I were truly 500 miles from a road, I would be in a world of hurt.
In the East Texas woods, you can turn over any decaying log and find enough grubs for a good meal. Every river and creek is full of turtles and tadpoles. The weather is seldom severe enough to worry about exposure.
So, I can (I think) survive if I get to pick the place.
Y’know something Texas? If I was 40 years younger I’d love to do what you fantasize about, I really and truly would.
Bit doubtful about eating grubs tho’ ::eek:: not to mention tadpoles :eek:
Unfortunately I’m an old codger well past my prime 
and so I can only hope that you get to do it, I wish you all the best…If you do go I’ll be with you in spirit 
See, now you’ve brought me back to reality and made me realize I’m problably too old for this, too.
There was a guy back in high school that was 3-4 years older than I who actually did this on a bet. He had clothes and a knife, but that was all. I don’t remember how long he stayed out. Someone happened upon him and he was standing in the river seining for minnows with his shirt.
I’ve watched TV show with the guy surviving in the wilderness (Discovery Channel or whatever). I commented to myself about his mindset. His main goal is to “get out”, as if the wilderness were the undesireable place to be. Hell, I pay money to get there.
The roughest I’ve ever had it in reality was missing a couple of meals and eating raw peanuts swiped from the vines in a farmer’s field. In reality, after the first few days, it would be a struggle to balance the number of calories burned to collect food against the amount of calories in the food you gathered.
In truth, there’s nowhere in the States that’s 500 miles from human habitation. There aren’t many places you could go even a hundred miles without coming across a road. Given that, your best bet is to get walking (without shoes it’ll be a little tough, admittedly). But I can’t see the point of trying to make fire or animal traps or weapons. Water is never going to be a problem in the woods, and most people can go five days without eating much, even with the exertion of walking. The real danger is dying of exposure, where your only recourse is to hope for good weather.
Yes, I I can make a fire (bow or hunt flint) make tool/weapons (stick, vine, & rock for hammer; stone on stone for knives & other tools).
Traps? Left my Rogue home sorry.
Water? Easy. Keep heading down hill.
Clothes? Weave branches & vines after the shelter’s built.
Shelter? No problem.
Dangerous wildlife is more scared of you than you are of it. Avoiding is easy.
Build a canoe? Well, more of a raft. But it will float.
Get back to civilization? Same thing…follow the river downstream
First thing I do back in Civilization? Beat the crap out of Scott Adams for putting me in one of his stupid video games.