# Student Kidnaps the Eucharist... PZ Myers to the Rescue! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2008, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147 "2008-07-11T16:12:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jillyvn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Jillyvn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jillyvn)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/1 "2008-07-11T16:12:21Z")
(Has this been pitted yet? If so, I couldn’t find it…) Context here: [http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/its\_a\_goddamned\_cracker.php#more](http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/its_a_goddamned_cracker.php#more) A UCF student has launched somewhat of a controversy by “stealing/kidnapping” the Body of Christ at a Mass at UCF ([http://www.wftv.com/news/16798008/detail.html](http://www.wftv.com/news/16798008/detail.html)). PZ Myers, Atheist Extraordinaire, chimes in and hilarity ensues. > [@](#): > > I find this all utterly unbelievable. It’s like Dark Age superstition and malice, all thriving with the endorsement of secular institutions here in 21st century America. It is a culture of deluded lunatics calling the shots and making human beings dance to their mythical bunkum. > > So, what to do. I have an idea. Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers? There’s no way I can personally get them — my local churches have stakes prepared for me, I’m sure — but if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I’ll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare. I won’t be tempted to hold it hostage (no, not even if I have a choice between returning the Eucharist and watching Bill Donohue kick the pope in the balls, which would apparently be a more humane act than desecrating a goddamned cracker), but will instead treat it with profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse, all photographed and presented here on the web. I shall do so joyfully and with laughter in my heart. If you can smuggle some out from under the armed guards and grim nuns hovering over your local communion ceremony, just write to me and I’ll send you my home address. > > Just wait. Now there’ll be a team of Jesuits assigned to rifle through my mail every day. But wait, there’s more! PZ is now receiving death threats and calls are flooding into his University for his dismissal. The mind boggles at the utter stupidity of it all. > [@](#): > > So far today, I have received 39 pieces of personal hate mail of varying degrees of literacy, all because I was rude to a cracker. Four of them have included death threats, a personal one day record. Thirty-four of them have demanded that I be fired. Twenty-five of them have told me to desecrate a copy of the Koran, instead, or in some similar way offend Muslims, because — in a multiplicity of ironic cluelessness — apparently only some religious icons must be protected, and I would only offend Catholics because they are all so nice that none of them would wish me harm. I even have one email that says I should be fired, that the author would like to kill me, and that I only criticize because Catholics are so gentle and kind. > > Oh, and of course, the university president’s office has also received lots of mail demanding my immediate ouster (keep in mind, though…Catholics are no threat to anyone at all.) I don’t know how much, but since Donohue published the president’s email address and not mine, I imagine it’s much greater than what I’ve seen. Those lovely Dark Age fanatics at the Catholic League have started a write-in campaign to start up an inquisition. [http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/fight\_back\_against\_bill\_donohu.php](http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/fight_back_against_bill_donohu.php) Some things really just pit themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/2 "2008-07-11T16:17:06Z")
What a jerk. They did this why? Someday perhaps they will grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/3 "2008-07-11T16:27:42Z")
He isn’t being rude to a cracker, he is being rude to all Catholics. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/4 "2008-07-11T16:28:00Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] He isn’t being rude to a cracker, he is being rude to all Catholics. [/QUOTE] So? ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/5 "2008-07-11T16:28:38Z")
What kind of a prick goes to mass to steal the Eucharist? Just because someone is an atheist or a non-believer doesn’t excuse them from treating other people with respect. You want to poke fun at the idea of the Eucharist? Fine. You don’t do it by entering a church and stealing it. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/6 "2008-07-11T16:31:11Z")
[QUOTE= Diogenes] So? [/QUOTE] So you think this is acceptable? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/7 "2008-07-11T16:32:06Z")
[QUOTE=MGibson] What kind of a prick goes to mass to steal the Eucharist? Just because someone is an atheist or a non-believer doesn’t excuse them from treating other people with respect. You want to poke fun at the idea of the Eucharist? Fine. You don’t do it by entering a church and stealing it. [/QUOTE] Why not? Who does it hurt? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/8 "2008-07-11T16:39:19Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Why not? Who does it hurt? [/QUOTE] So it’s OK if I go into a mosque and shit on the Koran then? I mean really it’s just a silly book. Who does it hurt? Or, if you prefer sans-hyperbole, I could leave the monetary value of the Koran, take it home, and doodle on it. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/9 "2008-07-11T16:40:29Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] So? [/QUOTE] Ask your wife & kids. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/10 "2008-07-11T16:42:43Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] So it’s OK if I go into a mosque and shit on the Koran then? I mean really it’s just a silly book. Who does it hurt? [/quote] Jesus Christ you are thick. That hurts the people who have to smell and clean up the shit. > [@](#): > > Or, if you prefer sans-hyperbole, I could leave the monetary value of the Koran, take it home, and doodle on it. That’s called theft. It wasn’t for sale. ---
**Author:** ![justrob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9adbd/32.png) [@justrob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justrob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/11 "2008-07-11T16:43:30Z")
[QUOTE=MGibson] What kind of a prick goes to mass to steal the Eucharist? Just because someone is an atheist or a non-believer doesn’t excuse them from treating other people with respect. You want to poke fun at the idea of the Eucharist? Fine. You don’t do it by entering a church and stealing it. Marc [/QUOTE] Just being the devils advocate here but did he really steal it? It was my understanding that the eucharist is given freely. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/12 "2008-07-11T16:43:49Z")
The children, I suspect, would understand why this is wrong. A gentleman (of whatever gender) never causes hurt needlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/13 "2008-07-11T16:44:10Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] He isn’t being rude to a cracker, he is being rude to all Catholics. [/QUOTE] Why, because he did something that is against your religion? By this argument, every time you eat pork you are being rude to all Muslims. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/14 "2008-07-11T16:45:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Why not? Who does it hurt? So it’s OK for me to go into your momma’s house, down into the basement, and take your binky? And it’s OK for me then to burn it and broadcast the burning? I mean, hey, it’s just a little pink blanket, right? There are plenty of little pink baby blankets out there- you can always get another one, right? :rolleyes: It’s not that the Eucharist is a “cracker.” When they’re shipped from the manufacturer and stored in the back, they’re just crackers. You want a cracker? You can have all the crackers you want. You want to hold up a Ritz cracker and say, “Here’s what I think of the Catholic Church and its stupid Eucharist!” and shove that cracker up your ass? Go right on ahead. It’s that this asshole is going out of his way to wait until **after** a ceremony that is of paramount importance to many people, and THEN to STEAL them, in a move that is designed specifically to offend people who have done nothing to this guy except hold a belief that he finds silly. And the Eucharist is given to be taken on the spot, not to be stuck in your pocket and transported elsewhere. People aren’t standing in line for a free bit of cracker- they’re standing in line because this ceremony is important to them. ---
**Author:** ![Jillyvn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Jillyvn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jillyvn)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/15 "2008-07-11T16:45:50Z")
[QUOTE=justrob] Just being the devils advocate here but did he really steal it? It was my understanding that the eucharist is given freely. [/QUOTE] Apparently, it is stealing/kidnapping if you remove it from the Church grounds without eating it (?)… I’m not a Catholic, so I’m not up on the protocol. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/16 "2008-07-11T16:45:55Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] So you think this is acceptable? [/QUOTE] I think it’s harmless. You think threatening to kill somebody for it is acceptable? Incidentally, my oldest daughter just took her First Communion a few months ago. We went to some kind of preparatory class for parents at her school beforehand and one of the teachers there informed us very seriously and worriedly about Satanists who steal hosts to desecrate them later. She talked about people stomping on or otherwise desecrating these wafers like itwas people killing babies. Later, at home, my lifelong Catholic wife laughed about it thought it was ridiculous. According to her way of thinking, the whole transubstantiation thing is an internal and personal experience, and those people really are just getting their jollies from spitting on a cracker. She also points out that it can’t do any damage to God, so why should she care? At worst, some people may be hurting their own souls, “karma,” whatever (especially if they’re Catholic and really believe the Host to be the _Corpus Christi_, but they’re not harming Catholics and they’re not harming God. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/17 "2008-07-11T16:48:06Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] So it’s OK for me to go into your momma’s house, down into the basement, and take your binky? And it’s OK for me then to burn it and broadcast the burning? I mean, hey, it’s just a little pink blanket, right? There are plenty of little pink baby blankets out there- you can always get another one, right? :rolleyes: It’s not that the Eucharist is a “cracker.” When they’re shipped from the manufacturer and stored in the back, they’re just crackers. You want a cracker? You can have all the crackers you want. You want to hold up a Ritz cracker and say, “Here’s what I think of the Catholic Church and its stupid Eucharist!” and shove that cracker up your ass? Go right on ahead. It’s that this asshole is going out of his way to wait until **after** a ceremony that is of paramount importance to many people, and THEN to STEAL them, in a move that is designed specifically to offend people who have done nothing to this guy except hold a belief that he finds silly. And the Eucharist is given to be taken on the spot, not to be stuck in your pocket and transported elsewhere. People aren’t standing in line for a free bit of cracker- they’re standing in line because this ceremony is important to them. [/QUOTE] It’s not stealing if the _give_ it to you, and it did not harm or disrupt anyone else’s experience or practice in any way. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/18 "2008-07-11T16:50:02Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Later, at home, my lifelong Catholic wife laughed about it thought it was ridiculous. According to her way of thinking, the whole transubstantiation thing is an internal and personal experience, and those people really are just getting their jollies from spitting on a cracker. She also points out that it can’t do any damage to God, so why should she care? At worst, some people may be hurting their own souls, “karma,” whatever (especially if they’re Catholic and really believe the Host to be the _Corpus Christi_, but they’re not harming Catholics and they’re not harming God. [/QUOTE] Then she’s not much of a Catholic, and is not morally allowed to receive the Eucharist herself. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/19 "2008-07-11T16:50:51Z")
[QUOTE=Don’t Call Me Shirley] Jesus Christ you are thick. That hurts the people who have to smell and clean up the shit. That’s called theft. It wasn’t for sale. [/QUOTE] Oh no you refuted my arguments. Have a cookie. Next time I’ll try to make bullet-proof analogies so I can shield myself from your razor-sharp wit. The point is the guy who took a Eucharist/cracker/death cookie for the purpose of making a point was being a disrespectful dick. It’s sad that some people are so hateful towards all religion that they are blinded to this simple fact. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147/20 "2008-07-11T16:50:54Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] It’s not stealing if the _give_ it to you, and it did not harm or disrupt anyone else’s experience or practice in any way. [/QUOTE] Theft by deception is still a crime. It was a dick thing to do, but it affects me not even the least little bit. If Catholics are right and there is a God, this person will have to account for his actions, and that’s good enough for me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-kidnaps-the-eucharist-pz-myers-to-the-rescue/456147.md?page=2)