# Student workers having sex in the library or Good God I HATE giving this speech all the time. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387 "2016-02-17T23:30:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/1 "2016-02-17T23:30:16Z")
It’s a big campus. There are lots of hidden spaces, lots of restrooms on the top floors of multi-story buildings that are virtually empty after around 7:00 p.m. There’s a dormitory where guest are allowed 24-hours a day. Why the hell do these morons have to fool around in the library? It’s annoying and an arrest able offense. Okay, kids here’s a major lesson in the real world of work, you get caught having sex on the job, you get fired! Urgh! The freshmen are getting stupider every year. Sorry, just had to rant. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/2 "2016-02-17T23:31:11Z")
Throw the book at 'em. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/3 "2016-02-18T00:25:45Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Why the hell do these morons have to fool around in the library? Because it’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/4 "2016-02-18T00:34:46Z")
Don’t knock it til you try it. I have a few fond memories of the government archive section myself. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/5 "2016-02-18T01:22:27Z")
Yes, I highly recommend the Fine Arts Library at Ohio State. Those were the good ole days! ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/6 "2016-02-18T01:26:13Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Throw the book at 'em. Just don’t crack the spine while you’re at it. So to speak. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/7 "2016-02-18T01:27:32Z")
Wait, are we talking homosexual relations here or the dirtier kind? ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/8 "2016-02-18T01:36:47Z")
ZPGzealot wrote: “Student workers having sex in the library or Good God I HATE giving this speech all the time.” Best username/post combo I’ve seen in a while. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/9 "2016-02-18T01:40:28Z")
It’s a library. They were checking each other out. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/10 "2016-02-18T01:45:03Z")
Even “American Pie” limited library scenes to concealed illicit prints. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/11 "2016-02-18T01:58:59Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > ZPGzealot wrote: “Student workers having sex in the library or Good God I HATE giving this speech all the time.” > > Best username/post combo I’ve seen in a while. Word. I assume the speech is about how they should always use a contraceptive. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/12 "2016-02-18T02:01:40Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Word. I assume the speech is about how they should always use a contraceptive. Gloves? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/13 "2016-02-18T02:16:20Z")
Perhaps you need a [metal pole](http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1210) to poke them with. ---
**Author:** ![Krav\_Manga](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krav_manga/32/3153_2.png) [@Krav\_Manga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krav_Manga)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/14 "2016-02-18T02:21:15Z")
Was it full PIV or just some handshake hanky panky? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/15 "2016-02-18T03:09:39Z")
Come on Dopers we can handle this one w/o personalizing it. As to the how come the same speech has to be given every year, well hey yes, the Library for some reason does seem to attract this sort of shenanigans. Don’t ask me why, it does. Maybe something in the mold from the old book collections. I was surprised how quiet some people can be at it (or how oblivious others are about just how noticeable \*they \*were) HOWEVER yes those who are student\*-employees\* need to learn that when it’s your workplace it’s not the same deal. “We’re in college, it’s time to act up” does itself has its time and place and manner parameters. Try to sneak into the Dean’s office overnight or do it in the utility tunnels or something. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/16 "2016-02-18T03:19:13Z")
1978 McKeldin Graduate Library at the University of Maryland College Park. 11PM studying late very few people around. Go into the men’s bathroom on the 5th floor. 10 guys in the bathroom milling around! Holes drilled in the side of the stall. I’m being eyed like fresh meat. They’re waiting for me to make my move. I’m avoiding eye contact. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/17 "2016-02-18T03:30:38Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > It’s a big campus. There are lots of hidden spaces, lots of restrooms on the top floors of multi-story buildings that are virtually empty after around 7:00 p.m. There’s a dormitory where guest are allowed 24-hours a day. Why the hell do these morons have to fool around in the library? It’s annoying and an arrest able offense. Okay, kids here’s a major lesson in the real world of work, you get caught having sex on the job, you get fired! Urgh! The freshmen are getting stupider every year. Sorry, just had to rant. A proper Pitting on this subject requires a far more detailed, anatomical, and in some sense literary description of the offensive conduct in question. We all await, with open flie- with the utmost confidence in your expository talents. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/18 "2016-02-18T03:39:58Z")
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/19 "2016-02-18T03:56:41Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Try to sneak into the Dean’s office overnight No, no, no, that’s not where you sneak into for sex; that’s where you park the horse. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387/20 "2016-02-18T04:36:37Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > No, no, no, that’s not where you sneak into for sex; that’s where you park the horse. Dude. Too soon. #RIPTrooper #neverforget [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/student-workers-having-sex-in-the-library-or-good-god-i-hate-giving-this-speech-all-the-time/746387.md?page=2)