# Stuff I already know about you.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279 "2012-04-19T15:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/21 "2012-04-20T03:29:58Z")
Your nose doesn’t goddamn itch, you’re digging for green gold! Yeah, that’s right. Don’t think you’re being sneaky. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/22 "2012-04-20T04:24:54Z")
Admit it. The snooze button is really the “sleep-in” button. And no, setting the clock forward 10 mins. isn’t fooling you either. I know, because I play that game too; everyone should, you need some serious sleep sometimes. One more snooooooze… ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/23 "2012-04-20T11:53:47Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > When you make an accidental farting sound, like with your chair or your shoe or something, you do it again just so that everyone knows that you didn’t really fart. No, I LOL and say “Ooh that sounded like a fart!!!” I’m easily amused. > [@](#): > > When someone returns a pot or pan, Tupperware or a cooking utensil back to you, you always smell it just to make sure that they cleaned it right. Nope, I pop it in the dishwasher on a scalding hot wash > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > If I’m waiting for an elevator after pressing the Up or Down call button, and you walk up to also ride the elevator. You will press the call button even if it’s obviously lit up and I’m obviously waiting for the elevator already. But good job on doing it better, otherwise we might have been waiting here all day. No, I don’t do that. I say “Oh good someone pressed the button” > [@control-z](#): > > I know that you’ve gone into a room to do something, got distracted by something else, then forgot what you went in there for and stood there puzzled. **searches for hidden cameras** > [@tdn](#): > > I know that when you’re walking somewhere, then realize that you forgot something and have to do an about face and walk in the other direction, you swear or make a pained face so that people around you don’t think that you’re the kind of person who does an about face and walks in the other direction for no good reason. Hah, I pretend my mobile is ringing, start searching for it, find it, cuss that they hung up and walk off in the opposite direction to the one in which I had been going… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/24 "2012-04-20T12:18:54Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I know that you believe firmly that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot and anyone who drives faster than you is a goddamn maniac. Yeah, George Carlin knew that as well. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/25 "2012-04-20T14:28:49Z")
> [@Corcaigh](#): > > No, I LOL and say “Ooh that sounded like a fart!!!” > > I’m easily amused. > > Nope, I pop it in the dishwasher on a scalding hot wash… I obviously wasn’t talking about you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/26 "2012-04-20T14:57:08Z")
> [@Corcaigh](#): > > Hah, I pretend my mobile is ringing, start searching for it, find it, cuss that they hung up and walk off in the opposite direction to the one in which I had been going… Ooh, bringing high tech to an awkward situation! I like it. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/27 "2012-04-20T15:15:41Z")
I know that when you get up in the night for a glass of water, you drink it 3/4 of the way down, then swish and pour the rest into the sink. Then you rinse and refill the cup and drink it 3/4 of the way down again. I know that you occasionally smell your socks when your spouse/SO isn’t looking. I know that the last three times you were in your head blaming someone else for losing something, it turned out that you were the one who misplaced it. I also know that none of these occurrences has in any way blunted the immediacy of your subsequent assumptions that someone else lost things, or the resultant ire until you find it. And I know about that nasty, crappy, gas-station-food snack that you like so much. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/28 "2012-04-20T15:23:17Z")
I know that you can’t believe the person you like, but don’t know, in that facebook photo isn’t tagged. What is it about you that every person you’d love to stalk isn’t tagged? Yeah… YOU… what is it about you that every person you like on facebook isn’t tagged. Freakin’ stalker… ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/29 "2012-04-20T15:30:26Z")
I know that for you guilt can be a powerful motivator, but it isn’t a pure one. Today you could feel obligated to help a family member with something you’d prefer to take no part in. There are times, like this, when familial duty trumps personal desires. Do your best to be helpful and gracious even though it could be a trying time for you. You’ll feel good about yourself once it’s all done. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/30 "2012-04-20T15:37:40Z")
I know you’re reading this on your smartphone while pooping. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/31 "2012-04-20T15:41:52Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I know you’re reading this on your smartphone while pooping. Ha, a lot you know! I’m sitting at my desk, reading this on a desktop computer. I probably should have gone to the men’s room before I started pooping. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/32 "2012-04-20T15:44:59Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I know you’re reading this on your smartphone while pooping. _FLUSH_ Ha! You are wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/33 "2012-04-20T16:19:44Z")
You kinda like the smell of your own farts. Admit it. You don’t always acknowledge it when someone else lets you cut into traffic. You pee in the shower now and then. You have taped Major League Baseball games without the express written consent of the Commissioner. You secretly yearn for Cecil to ask you for advice. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/34 "2012-04-20T16:48:02Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > When you make an accidental farting sound, like with your chair or your shoe or something, you do it again just so that everyone knows that you didn’t really fart. That’s what you think happened, eh? It’s working! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/35 "2012-04-20T17:09:31Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Yeah, George Carlin knew that as well. > mmm I knew you would say that. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/36 "2012-04-20T17:29:54Z")
When getting a glass of water from the tap, you run the water so it gets cold and while it’s running you fill the glass a little, swish the water around then dump it out before you fill the glass again and actually drink the water. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/37 "2012-04-20T17:33:05Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > When getting a glass of water from the tap, you run the water so it gets cold and while it’s running you fill the glass a little, swish the water around then dump it out before you fill the glass again and actually drink the water. Hey, it beats actually cleaning the glass. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/38 "2012-04-20T18:04:09Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Hey, it beats actually cleaning the glass. I mean _even when the glass is clean_. Like straight out of the cupboard. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/39 "2012-04-20T21:44:32Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > I mean _even when the glass is clean_. Like straight out of the cupboard. Yeah, but a bug might have been sitting in it in his filthy bug pants. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279/40 "2012-04-20T21:55:55Z")
> [@PacifistPorcupine](#): > > Actually, when I make an accidental fart sound, I immediately fart for real. I like saying, “Excuse me!” and looking sheepish when something makes a really loud fart noise. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I know that you believe firmly that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot and anyone who drives faster than you is a goddamn maniac. Well, yeah. > [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Yeah, but a bug might have been sitting in it in his filthy bug pants. Or it might be dusty. From having sat in the cupboard for a day since it was last washed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-already-know-about-you/619279.md?page=3)