# Stuff I wish I hadn't overheard in the men's room **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429 "2013-04-11T18:15:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/1 "2013-04-11T18:15:58Z")
So there was a guy two stalls down suffering from a truly epic case of constipation, based on the grunting and effortful noises. After one especially heartrending groan, I heard him mutter to himself “I gotta get back to the gym.” Uh, are there workout machines now to develop that particular set of muscles? 😕:eek: ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/2 "2013-04-11T18:28:22Z")
As a personal observation, I find that any yard work I perform that involves twisting and bending seems to stimulate a bowel movement. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/3 "2013-04-11T19:17:44Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > As a personal observation, I find that any yard work I perform that involves twisting and bending seems to stimulate a bowel movement. Just sayin. I find this true, as well. Mov **ing** = move **ment**. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/4 "2013-04-11T19:25:46Z")
Huh, and I thought the reason people’s yards smell funky in the springtime was because of the mulch. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/5 "2013-04-11T19:26:01Z")
Maybe “Jim” is his proctologist? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/6 "2013-04-11T19:31:52Z")
Who does number 2 work for? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/7 "2013-04-11T19:40:47Z")
Dr. Evil? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/8 "2013-04-11T20:09:14Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Huh, and I thought the reason people’s yards smell funky in the springtime was because of the mulch. :dubious: Not mulch, compost! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/9 "2013-04-11T20:16:14Z")
One day I was in the grocery store and had to pee, so I went into the men’s room. This isn’t a big store; the restroom has one urinal and one toilet in a separate stall. The urinal was my #1 choice. As I stood there, another guy came into the room and entered the stall to do his business. Suddenly I hear his cellphone ringtone (I am guessing) go off, at full volume and in the actual voice: _I AM THE SU-PREME DA-LEK!_:eek: Fortunately I was in the shaking stage of my endeavor, so my laughter didn’t cause too much overspill. As I left I said “Well… that was disturbing!”. He laughed too. Still have no idea what the guy looked like. Maybe he actually was a Dalek? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/10 "2013-04-11T20:21:36Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > So there was a guy two stalls down suffering from a truly epic case of constipation, based on the grunting and effortful noises. After one especially heartrending groan, I heard him mutter to himself “I gotta get back to the gym.” > > Uh, are there workout machines now to develop that particular set of muscles? 😕:eek: Maybe the groaning you heard was his attempt of getting up off the seat? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/11 "2013-04-11T20:23:25Z")
I just hope this guy remembers gym etiquette and wipes down with a towel after he’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/12 "2013-04-11T20:33:41Z")
Perhaps all that time bent over made it abundantly clear how large and obtrusive his gut was getting. As someone with a gut, I have noticed the difficulty doing things like tieing my shoes. I can’t breathe when bent over that way because the large lump of stuff in the way. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-i-wish-i-hadnt-overheard-in-the-mens-room/655429/13 "2013-04-11T22:36:15Z")
> [@Phnord\_Prephect](#): > > As I stood there, another guy came into the room and entered the stall to do his business. Suddenly I hear his cellphone ringtone (I am guessing) go off, at full volume and in the actual voice: > > _I AM THE SU-PREME DA-LEK!_:eek: Well, THAT could certainly loosen sphincters…