# Stuff people never do in films. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013 "2005-04-12T20:40:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/41 "2005-04-13T12:22:35Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > Nobody ever turns on the TV or the radio while it’s in the middle of another program or in the middle of the program or program segment they actually want to see or listen to. For example, the exact news story they want to see or hear will _always_ start at the _exact_ moment the TV or radio is turned on. … or even worse, somebody will get a phone call from somebody saying “Turn on channel 12!” because there’s something important on the news, and they go to the TV and turn it on to the _beginning of the story_ even though it has to have been at least 30 seconds since the person who called the hero saw the story start. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/42 "2005-04-13T12:24:54Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > But when they find it, they always rip the page out of the phonebook. Who does that??? That’d be [Jim Rockford.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071042/) Sort of a trademark move. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/43 "2005-04-13T12:34:21Z")
People never smoke a whole cigarette in the movies. It irks me when a character lights one up, takes two puffs, then throws it down or puts in a glass of liquid. \*Especially \* if that character just bummed it off someone. ---
**Author:** ![Grasshopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Grasshopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grasshopper)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/44 "2005-04-13T12:41:10Z")
On a related notes, in YA literature, if the protagonist is a girl and she mentions needing to go to the bathroom, you can be sure she’s about to discover she started her first period. Otherwise characters never go to the bathroom at all. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/45 "2005-04-13T13:01:57Z")
Coffee. Hot coffee lava is poured into the star’s cup and is immediately gulped. I’d have blisters on my tongue if I did that. Also, no one ever fills coffee cups. They add \*some \* coffee but never enough to fill the cup. Gilmore Girls is notorious for this. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/46 "2005-04-13T13:37:02Z")
I thought it was a major breakthrough in cinematic realism when Michelle Pfeiffer was playing solitaire on the computer in “What Lies Beneath.” She couldn’t sleep or something. Whenever a woman is getting ready to go out for the evening in a movie, she always puts on blush with a giant makeup artist-y brush, and she’ll usually finish up by putting the blush somewhere it doesn’t go like her chin or her nose or something. Just a little tap-tap of imaginary blush on the nose for that finishing touch. Or she puts on lipstick or mascara, but you will never see her trying to conceal her under-eye bags with concealer or putting on some foundation and blending along the jawline. Also, in the middle of the night when a female wakes up she’ll have makeup on most of the time. In the morning she won’t have one false eyelash hanging off her bangs or anything, and her gloss will still be on. It’s also very common for someone with a full face of makeup to start splashing water all over her face in a public washroom any time anything emotionally distressing happens. Then she will stare at her wet face in the mirror and sigh, reach for a paper towel to dry off and then someone will start talking to her while she’s holding the paper towel. I don’t know why that’s such a common scene but it drives me nuts because the character is always wearing makeup and in real life, unless you’re going to go wash it off, you can’t just start throwing water at your face and rubbing it with a brown industrial paper towel any time you get bad news. It’ll go all over the place. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/47 "2005-04-13T14:02:36Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > When Alex comes back from his night of ultraviolence early in the movie, there’s a brief shot of him peeing before he settles into his bedroom. I don’t remember a sammitch being present though. (In the scene you’re thinking of, he’s walking from his bedroom, not the bathroom.) I could have sworn he was eating something in one hand, and peeing with the other. It’s a very quick shot. I’ll have to go back and check it out. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/48 "2005-04-13T14:12:56Z")
You rarely see characters worrying about birth control when they have sex in movies. Very rarely is a condom mentioned, or we see someone take her birth control pill for the day. Contact lenses are another thing we rarely see. Frequently we see characters wearing glasses randomly in movies, but then without glasses in other scenes. Are we to assume they’re all farsighted and only need the glasses for reading? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/49 "2005-04-13T14:13:50Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > That period thing drives me nuts, especially in movies where a woman is in some kind of situation where she’s on the run with no purse, etc. All those survival movies make me nervous. Not only is she miles from the nearest tampax, she’s got a hot guy hanging around all the time. Next thing you know they’re going to be having sex and ??? Even if she is lucky enough to not be menstruating, surely she wishes for a little rinse before joe handsome makes his move. I always figure that’s why there’s so much sexual tension and she resists him for so long. Lucky enough not to be menstruating? You almost make it sound like having a period is the norm, and there’s but a brief window when you’re not that you can have clean, blood-free sex. The average woman is menstruating less than 1/4 of the month, that leaves 3/4 to not be menstruating. And a little rinse? What for? DO most women “rinse out” down there before sex? 😕 None of the ones I have ever been with ever did anything of the sort before sex. Actually, I do recall one movie where the lead female character is having her period and the male seducer can’t…well…seduce. _Showgirls_. The thing is, though, do you really want to see people in movies and TV do half of these things? There is really no reason to have someone randomly go to the bathroom, or sneeze, or be having their period. Agreed, though, that somes things should be “put in” the movie, like saying goodbye after a phone call, or closing doors, but most of these things are neccesary and if they actually DID happen, might be distracting and possibly confuse the audience. “Why did he sneeze? Is that important? Will we find out he’s sick later on?” ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/50 "2005-04-13T14:43:21Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Lucky enough not to be menstruating? You almost make it sound like having a period is the norm, and there’s but a brief window when you’re not that you can have clean, blood-free sex. The average woman is menstruating less than 1/4 of the month, that leaves 3/4 to not be menstruating. And a little rinse? What for? DO most women “rinse out” down there before sex? 😕 None of the ones I have ever been with ever did anything of the sort before sex. Survival movies are movies where people are in the woods or on a desert island or on a snowy mountain peak with no bathroom for days and days. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/51 "2005-04-13T15:10:21Z")
Unless it’s a comedy, you’ll never see anyone forget something important. In thrillers, people always call up the hero and give him some ridiculously complex instructions or phone numbers and you never see them jotting them down. If I were the hero, I’d be halfway there and be wondering “Was that 514 Oak Terrace or 451 Elm? And was the password ‘The Dove flies East from Vladisvostok’ or ‘The Hawk flies West’?” I’m pretty sure the bad guys would be taking over the world while I was still looking up addresses in Mapquest. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/52 "2005-04-13T15:19:22Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > You rarely see characters worrying about birth control when they have sex in movies. Very rarely is a condom mentioned, or we see someone take her birth control pill for the day. I was surprised at seeing a notable exception to this in _Sea of Love_ - Al Pacino’s character is a detective investigating murders of men who answer dating ads, and he gets involved with a woman (Ellen Barkin) who’s a suspect. They get hot-n-heavy, then Barkin’s character goes into the bathroom and is in there for a while. IIRC, he starts suspecting she’s getting a gun ready or something, when in reality she was putting in her diaphragm. (It’s been well over a decade since I saw the film, I might be a bit off on the details.) That’s kind of for plot development, mind you - intended to heighten the suspense - but it was a good use of that detail. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/53 "2005-04-13T15:30:23Z")
People often get staggering drunk on one or two beers. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/54 "2005-04-13T15:39:04Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > People often get staggering drunk on one or two beers. A corollary to this is that someone can chug copious amounts of hard liquor with showing no ill effects at all. I’m thinking particularly of Bogart’s Philip Marlow, when it was manly to be able to hold your liquor. Man, even in my knee-walking, snot-slinging alcoholic days when I had _great_ tolerance to alchohol, that much alcohol would have had me passed out, throwing up, or both. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/55 "2005-04-13T17:11:30Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > When people in movies finish a phone call, they _never_ say goodbye. I didn’t believe it when someone told me about it years ago, but it’s true. Keep an eye out next time you watch a movie. I just watched “House of Sand and Fog” this weekend, and in the scene where Jennifer Connelly’s character is talking to her brother on a payphone, I believe she says “goodbye”, although he has already hung up on her at that point. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/56 "2005-04-13T17:16:51Z")
Poor people. You rarely see anyone in films who is poor. The bulk of folks are either middle class or upper class. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/57 "2005-04-13T19:13:01Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > That period thing drives me nuts, especially in movies where a woman is in some kind of situation where she’s on the run with no purse, etc. All those survival movies make me nervous. Not only is she miles from the nearest tampax, she’s got a hot guy hanging around all the time. Next thing you know they’re going to be having sex and ??? Even if she is lucky enough to not be menstruating, surely she wishes for a little rinse before joe handsome makes his move. I always figure that’s why there’s so much sexual tension and she resists him for so long. You don’t even have to go _that_ far. What about when they’re being chased by the bad guys all day, and they’re filthy and sweaty (Terminator)? Or when the guy’s being held captive and the girl visits him and they kiss (Braveheart; Gladiator)? All I can think about in those scenes is, _can you imagine what his breath smells like?_ :eek: The one that bugs me is, PEOPLE DON’T FINISH THEIR DAMN DRINKS. They go to a bar, order a beer, take one sip, pay the bartender (sometimes), AND THEN THEY JUST TAKE OFF!!! And I have seen men shave in movies, but I have never seen a man rinse his face after shaving. I do remember seeing something that you _never_ see. It wasn’t in a movie, it was on the old Batman t.v. show. I remember seeing it, but I don’t remember which episode, and I’ve never seen it since. Batman says something, Robin says, “What?”, and Batman repeats what he said, verbatim. It had absolutely nothing to do with the plot; it was a goofy thing they did just to be strange. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/58 "2005-04-13T19:15:42Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Stuff _computers_ never do in films… be quiet. > > Why oh why do filmmakers insist on portraying computers as beep-happy? Even stealth devices beep! What is going on? A computer needs to make stupid noises otherwise it doesn’t work??? Or how about when someone clicks on a mouse? The click can be heard five miles away. And it’s always slow. Nobody ever double clicks on a mouse, it’s always _CLICK_…_CLICK_. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/59 "2005-04-13T19:21:25Z")
Stuff you never see… Characters complaining about someone else’s cigarette smoke. Or suggesting that a smoker might want to think about quitting. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/60 "2005-04-13T19:23:27Z")
> [@spoke-](#): > > Stuff you never see… > > Characters complaining about someone else’s cigarette smoke. > > Or suggesting that a smoker might want to think about quitting. Actually, it’s part of the plot in _Dead Again_. [robotic voice]Can I have a cigarette? Can I have a cigarette?[/rv] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013.md?page=4)