# Stuff people never do in films. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013 "2005-04-12T20:40:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/81 "2005-04-13T22:30:36Z")
Often in films or TV a character will take an annoyingly long time to answer the door or phone, but the ringer or knocker willl always wait. This is not how real life is. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/82 "2005-04-13T22:30:54Z")
> [@nivlac](#): > > How about flipping open their cell phone and NOT find a signal! Not everyone uses Sprint 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/83 "2005-04-13T22:38:51Z")
> [@nivlac](#): > > How about flipping open their cell phone and NOT find a signal! It happens in one of the Olsen twins movies. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/84 "2005-04-14T00:01:34Z")
Misspeak and then correct oneself. I do that several times every day. Seems like a character in a movie could do it once in a century. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/85 "2005-04-14T00:18:15Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Nobody ever buys groceries except for French Bread, celery, oranges and a couple of cans of something unidentifable. You never see a man shopping for groceries period. In **Bullit** , Steve McQueen picks up an armload of TV Dinners at the market. My peeve: Discharging firearms in enclosed spaces has absolutely no effect on hearing. You can fire 6 rounds out of a .357 in a phone booth and still hear an ant fart at 500 paces. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/86 "2005-04-14T00:20:32Z")
I’m not sure if this happens in movies, but I notice in real life that when people talk, a heck of a lot of what they begin to say is aborted in favour of something better. A typical example would be “It might, Well it could er, I think it’s going to go the way jo said it would go. I am… I think we should do it the other way” Maybe not a good example, but I think you know what I mean. More often than not people in real life don’t speak perfect sentences like people in films do. With the exception of those intelligent few who construct their dialogue internally before releasing it into the world. I like to think I am one of them. But then again I like to think I am irresistable to women, and the future emperor of earth. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/87 "2005-04-14T00:24:45Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#): > > firearms in enclosed spaces has absolutely no effect on hearing. You can fire 6 rounds out of a .357 in a phone booth and still hear an ant fart at 500 paces. This is a good one. I’ve fired blanks (the original kind. I don’t fire blanks in the sexual way so stop laughing) and lost hearing temporarily for a good many seconds. click BANG. muffle muffle. WHAT!. Shouted muffle muffle. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/88 "2005-04-14T00:29:52Z")
I don’t know why so many people complain about characters not saying “Bye” when they hang up the phone. The phone doesn’t need to hear “bye” in order to end the communication. There’s not some magic listening device that will get all cranky and complain if it doesn’t hear the word “bye”. Frankly, I never end my phone calls with “bye”. I’m not a Pavlovian-trained animal that needs an exact, precise cue to know when a conversation is over. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/89 "2005-04-14T00:34:48Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > I don’t know why so many people complain about characters not saying “Bye” when they hang up the phone. The phone doesn’t need to hear “bye” in order to end the communication. There’s not some magic listening device that will get all cranky and complain if it doesn’t hear the word “bye”. > > Frankly, I never end my phone calls with “bye”. I’m not a Pavlovian-trained animal that needs an exact, precise cue to know when a conversation is over. In my opinion it’s simple courtesy. In my job I speak to Americans on the phone a lot. My final word is ‘bye’ and when they return the ‘bye’ it seems as if they didn’t expect to say it and are trying to comply with an englishman’s custom. Most of the time they are pleasant to talk to. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/90 "2005-04-14T00:47:35Z")
People never just mess up their words and say something funny. I’m not sure I can describe it much better than that. Seinfeld, for example, almost did this, but that’s a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/91 "2005-04-14T00:56:04Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#): > > Discharging firearms in enclosed spaces has absolutely no effect on hearing. You can fire 6 rounds out of a .357 in a phone booth and still hear an ant fart at 500 paces. This depends. If your adrenaline is pumping and you’re in a life-or-death situation, you may not even hear the gun going off. I know that, when stalking game (I dislike using blinds) I have sometimes not worn earplugs to better hear the noises of the deer or hog. When I saw one run out in front of me and took my shot, I didn’t even notice the report of the rifle, much less have it hurt my ears. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/92 "2005-04-14T00:59:06Z")
In films, labor and delivery takes about 15 minutes. Women go from walking down the street, la, la, la, la, la, _BAM_, groan, moan, shriek, oops, there’s a baby. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/93 "2005-04-14T01:32:41Z")
> [@](#): > > In my opinion it’s simple courtesy. In my job I speak to Americans on the phone a lot. My final word is ‘bye’ and when they return the ‘bye’ it seems as if they didn’t expect to say it and are trying to comply with an englishman’s custom. I suppose it has something to do with familiarity. I rarely talk with people I’m not significantly comfortable with (hell, some might call us “friends”, but those people are fools 😃 ), so it’s rarely inappropriate for me to finish a phone call by telling my buddy, “Fuck off, you sack of nefarious glop”, and they’ll return with “In a pig’s eye, you dastardly Republican fascist!” _click_ ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/94 "2005-04-14T01:43:02Z")
> [@nivlac](#): > > How about flipping open their cell phone and NOT find a signal! _Identity_. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/95 "2005-04-14T01:53:59Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > You never see people in films biting the inside of their lips. Goldie Hawn did… she made it sort of a sexy signature, in a girlie-cute kind of way. > [@Lobsang](#): > > You never see them sneezing, or coughing, or scratching their nose. Stuff like that (unless it’s part of the plot). Check out River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho. In movies, you never see people in courtroom scenes do any of the things people do in real courtrooms… which in real life is dull, dull, dull! ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/96 "2005-04-14T02:52:24Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > As for the period thing, why would anyone want to see that in a movie? And I’ve never had much of a problem just jumping into sex when the time is right. If you shower daily, you shouldn’t have to clean yourself beforehand. I’m with Bouv on what he said. Most of that stuff is not in movies for a reason. I already said that I’m talking about movies where the person hasn’t been near a shower for days. Survival movies. I was talking about movies where someone has not had a shower in quite some time. Not that day. And nobody wants to see people actually having their periods in movies. But I do think I would like it better if it were acknowledged that such a thing exists in the universe. Actually in Miss Congeniality II Gracie pretends to get cramps so she can escape from her FBI escorts. But she was faking it. > [@bluethree](#): > > Misspeak and then correct oneself. I do that several times every day. Seems like a character in a movie could do it once in a century. Whenever they do, the thing that came out first is some huge, humiliating freudian slip. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/97 "2005-04-14T03:03:27Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > Nobody ever turns on the TV or the radio while it’s in the middle of another program or in the middle of the program or program segment they actually want to see or listen to. For example, the exact news story they want to see or hear will _always_ start at the _exact_ moment the TV or radio is turned on. A related one: when there is some sort of recording and the character rewinds to hear something again, it always starts replaying exactly where they want it. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/98 "2005-04-14T06:17:19Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Why does everyone in Movie World own a Mac? Because they have good taste. 😉 Seriously, if you were a set designer and you wanted to establish your leading man as a young, successful, technologically savvy genius, what are you going to have him use – a sleek, sexy, bleeding-edge piece of Apple gear, or a generic black lump of plastic from Dell or Compaq? > [@Lobsang](#): > > No one ever plugs their frickin laptop in. Battery life is not great on those things… plug it in for ogs sake! And when you’ve finished using it _turn it off_, don’t just close the lid. Why? They’re using Macs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MackoUr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MackoUr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MackoUr)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/99 "2005-04-14T11:27:28Z")
On the subject of mestruating, I do recall that it was a plot point in one of the Friday the 13th movies that the heroine doesn’t have sex because of her period, thus insuring her survival (i.e. Jason never kills the girl who hasn’t had onscreen sex). ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013/100 "2005-04-14T11:40:50Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Seriously, if you were a set designer and you wanted to establish your leading man as a young, successful, technologically savvy genius, what are you going to have him use – a sleek, sexy, bleeding-edge piece of Apple gear, or a generic black lump of plastic from Dell or Compaq? Neither. I’d have him using a box he built himself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-people-never-do-in-films/299013.md?page=6)