# Stuff that bugs me about zombie movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811 "2005-06-25T17:26:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Can_Handle_the_Truth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/1 "2005-06-25T17:26:22Z")
I love zombie movies. I just saw LotD and it was OK, but I really don’t give a shit about zombies evolving. All I care about is how to destory them. That said, here are some of my pet peeves about the genre: 1 - Nobody ever thinks to make themselves body armor. If I was in that situation, I would be covered head to toe in bite-proof material. It wouldn’t even have to be metal; plastic, thick tough leather, thick fabric with a couple layers of duct tape over it… such a suit would be pretty easy to make. I just don’t get why nobody thinks of it. 2 - Where are all the wild animals? With all that free meat walking around, wolves, bears, mountain lions and vultures would have a field day. Their populations would explode, they’d become a bigger danger than the zombies. 3 - Nobody ever takes it upon himself (herself) to initiate wholesale destruction of the zombies by efficient means such as fire, explosives, etc. It seems the only time the zombies get killed is when the living venture outside to do unrelated errands like get food or move to a new home. Why isn’t there a daily sortie with the intent of killing every zombie in the area? 4 - The zombies must eventually become non-functional due to natural decay, attack by bacteria and fungi and predators. It shouldn’t take but a few months for them all to die. The living will have figured out by then that they have to burn their dead, so few new zombies will be created. The whole crisis will be over within a year. Anyway, that’s my opinion on the subject. How about yours? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/2 "2005-06-25T18:53:03Z")
> [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 3 - Nobody ever takes it upon himself (herself) to initiate wholesale destruction of the zombies by efficient means such as fire, explosives, etc. It seems the only time the zombies get killed is when the living venture outside to do unrelated errands like get food or move to a new home. Why isn’t there a daily sortie with the intent of killing every zombie in the area? > ? The “Zombie Survival Guide” covers this, among other things. The problem with setting zombies on fire is that…well, it takes a long time to stop them. In the meantime, they’ll just walk around on fire…setting other things on fire, things like forests and parts of the city until the fire consumes their bodies enough no flesh is left. And the problem is, people are usally just having enough problems surviving without thinking about going out to fight them(which requires good organization and cooperation with other survivers). > [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 4 - The zombies must eventually become non-functional due to natural decay, attack by bacteria and fungi and predators. It shouldn’t take but a few months for them all to die. The living will have figured out by then that they have to burn their dead, so few new zombies will be created. The whole crisis will be over within a year. Assuming that whatever is making them zombies in the first place hasn’t changed their rate of decay. If it has lengthed, then it could be quite longer. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/3 "2005-06-25T19:12:53Z")
> [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > I love zombie movies. I just saw LotD and it was OK, but I really don’t give a shit about zombies evolving. All I care about is how to destory them. That said, here are some of my pet peeves about the genre: > > 1 - Nobody ever thinks to make themselves body armor. If I was in that situation, I would be covered head to toe in bite-proof material. It wouldn’t even have to be metal; plastic, thick tough leather, thick fabric with a couple layers of duct tape over it… such a suit would be pretty easy to make. I just don’t get why nobody thinks of it. > > 2 - Where are all the wild animals? With all that free meat walking around, wolves, bears, mountain lions and vultures would have a field day. Their populations would explode, they’d become a bigger danger than the zombies. > > 3 - Nobody ever takes it upon himself (herself) to initiate wholesale destruction of the zombies by efficient means such as fire, explosives, etc. It seems the only time the zombies get killed is when the living venture outside to do unrelated errands like get food or move to a new home. Why isn’t there a daily sortie with the intent of killing every zombie in the area? > > 4 - The zombies must eventually become non-functional due to natural decay, attack by bacteria and fungi and predators. It shouldn’t take but a few months for them all to die. The living will have figured out by then that they have to burn their dead, so few new zombies will be created. The whole crisis will be over within a year. > > Anyway, that’s my opinion on the subject. How about yours? [ol] [li]A “bite-proof” suit would be very cumbersome. If you’ve ever seen the get-up worn by people who train attack dogs, you know what I mean. The speed advantage we have against them is much more valuable.[/li][li]I would think that decaying corpses would smell so rank, only vultures would be interested. Good point, though.[/li][li]As far back as Dawn, we are allegedly outnumbered 100,000 to 1, which kinda makes wholesale destruction a little difficult. The previous poster also makes a good point–fire works too slowly.[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/4 "2005-06-25T19:21:15Z")
> [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 1 - Nobody ever thinks to make themselves body armor. If I was in that situation, I would be covered head to toe in bite-proof material. It wouldn’t even have to be metal; plastic, thick tough leather, thick fabric with a couple layers of duct tape over it… such a suit would be pretty easy to make. I just don’t get why nobody thinks of it. _Road Warrior_ meets _Night of the Living Dead_. I like it. > [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 2 - Where are all the wild animals? With all that free meat walking around, wolves, bears, mountain lions and vultures would have a field day. Their populations would explode, they’d become a bigger danger than the zombies. Left unfed and with nobody to tend to them, domestic dogs will eat dead bodies. They will also form packs and roam the cities searching out prey. > [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 3 - Nobody ever takes it upon himself (herself) to initiate wholesale destruction of the zombies by efficient means such as fire, explosives, etc. It seems the only time the zombies get killed is when the living venture outside to do unrelated errands like get food or move to a new home. Why isn’t there a daily sortie with the intent of killing every zombie in the area? > > 4 - The zombies must eventually become non-functional due to natural decay, attack by bacteria and fungi and predators. It shouldn’t take but a few months for them all to die. The living will have figured out by then that they have to burn their dead, so few new zombies will be created. The whole crisis will be over within a year. > > Anyway, that’s my opinion on the subject. How about yours? I can see a pretty good short story/movie in this…Zombie plague+packs of feral dogs, band of survivors clad in leather bondage gear/football/hockey/motocross pads seek wholesale destruction of zombies & feral dogs. Large sections of city set on fire, survivors threatened by the effects of their own actions… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/5 "2005-06-25T19:24:58Z")
[QUOTE=want2know] [list=1] [li]A “bite-proof” suit would be very cumbersome. [/li][/QUOTE] I mentioned a milder version of this, covered in razor blades, in the “what if all animal rebel against humans?” thread. No one seemed to pay it any mind. Perhaps because of this fact. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/6 "2005-06-25T19:34:10Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > I mentioned a milder version of this, covered in razor blades, in the “what if all animal rebel against humans?” thread. No one seemed to pay it any mind. Perhaps because of this fact. Not to mention the mess when your nose itches and you forget you’re wearing a suit made of Schick… ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/7 "2005-06-25T19:38:29Z")
> [@want2know](#): > > A “bite-proof” suit would be very cumbersome. If you’ve ever seen the get-up worn by people who train attack dogs, you know what I mean. The speed advantage we have against them is much more valuable. If not a bite-proof suit, at least dress responsibly. Long sleeves. Long pants. Jackets of denim or leather, or some other heavily bite-resistant material. Gloves. Helmets. No need for the sort of layering that attack dog trainers wear because presumably zombies wouldn’t be able to bite with the same psi as a dog. I know I couldn’t bite through even one layer of denim. ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/8 "2005-06-25T19:59:59Z")
> [@want2know](#): > > [li]A “bite-proof” suit would be very cumbersome. If you’ve ever seen the get-up worn by people who train attack dogs, you know what I mean. The speed advantage we have against them is much more valuable.[/li] ``` Chain mail, like shark divers wear. Relatively light, easy to move in, imposable to bite through. Okay, it's not like you can get this stuff at the local sporting goods store, but if I were trapped in a mall by zombies, I would have time to knit up a suit. Hey we're talking about the survival of life on earth here! ``` 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/9 "2005-06-25T20:28:14Z")
> [@Sweetums](#): > > Chain mail, like shark divers wear. Relatively light, easy to move in, imposable to bite through. > > ``` > Okay, it's not like you can get this stuff at the local sporting goods store, but if I were trapped in a mall by zombies, I would have time to knit up a suit. > > ``` > > 😃 Chainmail is good, but it’s going to be heavy(which is going to emcumber you somewhat) and it’s going to make plenty of noise. Every zombie in the area is going to hear you coming. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/10 "2005-06-25T20:36:49Z")
> [@Can Handle the Truth](#): > > 3 - Nobody ever takes it upon himself (herself) to initiate wholesale destruction of the zombies by efficient means such as fire, explosives, etc. It seems the only time the zombies get killed is when the living venture outside to do unrelated errands like get food or move to a new home. Why isn’t there a daily sortie with the intent of killing every zombie in the area? In most of the Romero movies, there seems to be a lot of organized zombie hunts out in the rural areas. That’s what I don’t get. You have hundreds of well-armed hunters and national guardsmen with relatively light zombie populations. So why do they always get overrun? And they’re just mindless people with poor motor skills ambling about anyhow. Seems relatively easy to create safe zones by errecting a 12ft concrete barrier or blocking off the lower floors of large buildings. And why does it seem to be happening everywhere at once? I don’t know about you but we don’t have a lot of normally inanimate corpses around here that would spring to life in a zombie epidemic. ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/11 "2005-06-25T20:38:18Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Chainmail is good, but it’s going to be heavy(which is going to emcumber you somewhat) and it’s going to make plenty of noise. Every zombie in the area is going to hear you coming. ``` Oddly enough, I am spending the summer wearing a full hauberk (The library summer reading theme is "Dragons Dreams and Daring Deeds", I give talks on arms and armor). It's really not all that bad, or that noisy. Of course, I have yet to field test it against zombies, so I could be way off base here. ``` 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/12 "2005-06-25T20:50:54Z")
Also here’s an idea. When you explore a new area…secure it first. That way some zombie you forgot about doesn’t just pop out of the cubbard. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/13 "2005-06-25T20:53:07Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > If not a bite-proof suit, at least dress responsibly. Long sleeves. Long pants. Jackets of denim or leather, or some other heavily bite-resistant material. Gloves. Helmets. No need for the sort of layering that attack dog trainers wear because presumably zombies wouldn’t be able to bite with the same psi as a dog. I know I couldn’t bite through even one layer of denim. However, in the Romero movies, the zombies are routinely biting off hunks of flesh with their teeth, not to mention biting off fingers right through the bone. Plus, victims are very often attacked by packs of ghouls; remember how they tore Rhodes in half in Dawn? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/14 "2005-06-25T21:30:41Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > And why does it seem to be happening everywhere at once? I don’t know about you but we don’t have a lot of normally inanimate corpses around here that would spring to life in a zombie epidemic. Well, the intial whatever that started it seemed to affect a pretty big area, and travel is so rapid lately that it would be easy for infected people to spead to non-infected areas and start an infection there. Guy gets bitten, flees in car, goes to another city, dies. One zombie bites living person, who becomes infected, eventually dies and probably bites a couple more, and so on, and so on. Exaserbating things are the people who will try to shelter the infected and try to treat them(Original “Dawn”. THere’s an apartment full of zombies which are being “protected” by their living family members), or neglect to mention they are bitten(Almost every zombie movie out there), allowing the infected to slip into “secure” areas and compromise them. People usally take too long to figure out that a bitten person is for all intents and purposes, already one of the zombies, which only gives the infected the oppurtunity to die and bite. And organized resistance seems to take far too long to actually spring up. Once it covers a wide area, it becomes increasingly diffcult. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/15 "2005-06-25T21:33:56Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > And why does it seem to be happening everywhere at once? I don’t know about you but we don’t have a lot of normally inanimate corpses around here that would spring to life in a zombie epidemic. Oh, and thousands of people die every die. Look in the local paper at the obiutaries. You’ve probably got at least a dozen on any particular day. That’s a dozen zombies to start with, who will no doubt double their numbers withen an hour or two. Really soon you’ve got a pack of zombies shambling around biting people, and it’s going to be a while before people just start shooting them in the head instead of trying to arrest them(which leads to more bites). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/16 "2005-06-25T21:56:52Z")
Wear mithral and biker leather and replace one of your forearms with a chainsaw. Eat right, exercise, take Geritol once a day… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/17 "2005-06-25T22:02:17Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] And why does it seem to be happening everywhere at once? [QUOTE] In addition to what **HPL** has said, the satellite (the “real” reason why the dead are rising 😉 ) flew over much of the U.S., before crashing. it’s radiation was spread in mid air. -posted by Scott, who will not give up a canon throwaway line, no matter what. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/18 "2005-06-25T22:03:46Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > And why does it seem to be happening everywhere at once? In addition to what **HPL** has said, the satellite (the “real” reason why the dead are rising 😉 ) flew over much of the U.S., before crashing. it’s radiation was spread in mid air. -posted by Scott, who will not give up a canon throwaway line, no matter what. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/19 "2005-06-25T22:05:19Z")
The only thing about zombie movies that has ever _really_ bugged me is that a basic principle of locomotion in humans is ignored: Joints flex and extend using antagonistic muscles to supply the energy and bones as levers. If you sever a muscle group or shatter a bone/joint, motion becomes impossible. Okay, shooting them anywhere but in the head won’t “kill” them. Shattering the femur(s) or pelvis should still jolly well make it impossible for them to walk. Shattering the shoulder should make it impossible to move the arm. Shattering the mandible makes it impossible to bite. Any of these things can quite easily be done with commonly available civilian arms. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811/20 "2005-06-25T22:09:04Z")
> [@Sweetums](#): > > Chain mail, like shark divers wear. Relatively light, easy to move in, imposable to bite through. > > ``` > Okay, it's not like you can get this stuff at the local sporting goods store, but if I were trapped in a mall by zombies, I would have time to knit up a suit. > > ``` I’m now envisioning a movie where survivors of the zombie hordes scour the country for RenFest-types who can make chain mail. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-that-bugs-me-about-zombie-movies/309811.md?page=2)