Stuff that bugs me about zombie movies

Maybe being a Zombie allows the Venusians to survive? Didn’t think of that now did you smartypants.

But! How would they have evolved as zombiefied organisms? Can zombies even reproduce?

Does zombieism reverse entropy in their closed system? Or are zombies an effect of increasing entropy?

Look into a game called All Flesh Must Be Eaten. Never played it myself, but it’s pretty well liked for doing its genre well.

They reproduce by biting non-zombies.

Oh! I thought I might add the SDMB catalogue of Zombie Types. Might be a bit useful.

Armor is not that heavy. Historical plate armor topped out at about 30 kg, unless it was a specialized tilting suit. Some full plate was lighter than that. Compare that to the typical 20-30 kg of gear the modern soldier carries most of the time. When humping full kit, soldiers might have to handle over 40 kg sometimes. You can do basically anything in a properly fitting suit of armor that you can do without it. It’s not clumsy, though it can be hot, and if it’s an all-metal suit it’ll be a bit noisy too.

That said, I don’t think chain mail would cut it. Yes, it would keep you from getting infected, but their bite might be strong enough to break smaller bones, and no matter what, you’re getting a serious bruise. Rigid armor would be better. Someone mentioned plastic plates, like football armor or police riot armor. You can also make some decent armor with hardened leather. You don’t need full body protection. Extremities seem to be the most vulnerable: neck, forearms, hands, lower legs. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a zombie do a thigh or chest bite in movies.

Maybe because I’m a martial arts and historical military geek, but I’d be partial to a sword in addition to a decent gun. Doesn’t run out of ammo or gas, can dismember an unarmored body with ease, and a good sword can last for a long time. Some people thought that scene in Braveheart where a guy gets his whole darn leg chopped off was just Hollywood having fun. Uh-uh, there are battlefield injuries that document the fact that an entire femur can easily be cut through with a sword. Firearms are the reason armor and swords stopped being used. When your main danger is a bunch of stupid shambling pseudo-corpses, swords can come back in style.

The other issues have been well dealt with. You need organization for sorties and zombie hunting. Most of the movies deal with the onset. Everyone’s still getting a handle on the situation and/or is dealing with guilt and grief over loved ones and acquaintances. Give it a few weeks and the survivors will start getting together and dealing with stuff. Unless you know what you’re doing, even handling explosives is dangerous and they’re not easy to use against moving targets. Fire has the drawbacks mentioned above.

Animals won’t eat anything and everything. Your dog may like rolling in garbage, but there are some things even he won’t eat. I doubt that zombie meat would smell right, so most animals wouldn’t want to deal with it. Come to think of it, I haven’t even seen clouds of flies around zombie groups, so even flies and maggots won’t eat zombie meat, apparently. If zombie meat makes even a maggot turn up its proboscis, there’s probably not much else that will even want to be around it.

Depending on the author, zombies range from dead, to alive-but-infected-with-something, to metabolically challenged. If they’re not dead, they might not rot. If their flesh has been “changed” in some way, they might not rot or they might not rot as fast. If there’s magic involved, who knows whether they’ll do something as natural as rot or not?

It’s the heat that’s the killer I think. I couldn’t wear a leather outfit during the summer in Texas or Arkansas let alone anything heavier without keeling over from heat exhaustion. Especially when you start adding the weight of any weapons, ammunition, and the water I’d have to take with me every time I went out.

I’d gladly live with a broken bone rather then facing certain death from a zombie bite. I wonder if it’d be worse with armor were you overwhelmed by the undead. Maybe the armor would just prolong your suffering as they slowly comsume your body by attacking the unarmored parts.

From a weight management position I think you’d be better off exchanging the weight of the sword for magazines full of bullets or an extra firearm. Not only is swinging a sword around more exhausting then firing bullets but you have no choice but to get close to the zombie. Looking around my house you’d have a hard time swinging a sword effectively. If I’m going out looking for food and supplies or just to take a look around I’d like a semi-automatic rifle, one (or two) pistols, 60 rounds for the rifle, 20-30 for the pistols, two canteens full of water, and something to eat.

Marc

Armour still may not cut it. If you are swarmed you are in for it. Likely they try to tear you apart to get at the goey nuget inside the tough outter shell.

You can handle one or two maybe even five but if you get caught in a swarm forget about it.

As far as good Zombie games (this isn’t an RPG but it is the best I’ve played is ZOMBIES!!!
I have the expansion sets too. The game is more liek q Romero world were the people are nasty and do what they can to survive at the expense of other players.

The “fate” cards are nifty and the gruesome.

Plus how can you go wrong with a box of zombie figures.

Heat exhaustion from wearing armour can be mostly overcome with training and proper hydration (I have fought on the field for 6 hrs straight in full gear, which for me is plate everywhere but the lower legs, in the middle of Georgia, during summer.) Still, it will become an issue eventually…and though my armour really isn’t that heavy and fairly maneuverable (I could do a cartwheel in it…if I could do a cartwheel in the first place), it does cause me to feel fatigued much more quickly than without it. As far as armouring just the extremities, I think a person mobbed by zombies is going to get bitten pretty much anywhere there is exposed flesh, so that idea is right out.

Swords are another thing that, while romantically ideal, I would be leary about using. Though a properly maintained blade can cut through both flesh and bone (I’ve done test cutting), it will occasionally catch within a bone, and it can be a pain to pull out. I think that if I were to use any kind of hand held weapon, a good old fashioned round mace (ie, the kind that didn’t have spikes sticking out) would be my choice. In essence, it is a shot put on a stick…lots of mass on the striking surface, guaranteed to cave in zombie skulls, or your money back! It has the added benefits of not catching in bones, not having a designated striking angle, and it can also knock in a locked door pretty quickly. Yay for maces!

As for Finagle’s questions, while I can’t answer for all zombie movies, I wrote a story once where the zombies were actually animated by a parasitic organism that fed on the living cells within the body, and replace/emulate them as they consume them. When all the living cells are replaced, the zombie, now dead flesh animated by the parasites, rose to find a new food supply…hence why zombies only attack the living, and often leave them partially devoured (and hence able to rise themselves).

Look at the lower left hand corner of this picture for an example. :wink:

The parasites travelled through the saliva, and worked quick…so while Zombie A was munching on Soldier B, its saliva was already converting Soldier B into Zombie B. The dead ate the living not because they were evil, but because they were a parasite looking for more food - there was no brain function or choice involved.
Hey, this could be a good reason why “thinking” zombies in some movies still attack people. It’s not the person doing the thinking, but the parasite, which, while emulating the brain functions to control the motor functions of its host shell, gains a sort of awareness, and seeks to preserve its own kind.

Watsonwil, I have seriously been considering running an online zombie game…email me if you’re interested!

Ah, but do you have a bag of extra zombies as well? :smiley:

I love the ZOMBIES!!! game…it is so fun!

Wouldn’t a combat shotgun work better in a close-in situation? Your marksmanship wouldn’t have to be all that accurate to get the head. Of course, the semi-auto rifle would have more rounds in its clip …

I don’t have access to a combat shotgun and I think the rifle is probably the superior all around weapon. Depending on how the choke is set the spread of the shot isn’t going to be all that great at short distance. I suppose it all depends on whether I’m being chased by fast or slow zombies.

Marc

Are you kidding?!?!
You can’t play the full game without 'em. (100 Zombies is never enough) I do need to pick up a bag o glow in the dark Zombies

I hate using the kill X number of zombies to win games… I mean In one game th guy who declared victory was on his last life in teh middle of the mall away from any helipad and surrounded by the walking dead.

I’m sorry in my mind I can see a guy screaming I win just as he is swarmed and never seen again.

If we’re going to get to board games then I would recommend Zombie Plague which is a free tactical zombie fighting game. It can be obtained from http://www.fortressfigures.com/zombieplague/ and it plays fairly well.

Would it be a written game or some sort of online voice/chat system?

For a while there, they were sold out of the bag o’ zombies, and I was forced to make my own zombie markers…which still worked out well :slight_smile:

Play-by-post, still working on the rules/mechanics of it.

Sounds pretty close to Niven’s “Night on Mispec Moor”. Soldier of Fortune wakes up on a battlefield to find that the corpses of the slain are being reanimated. Eventually he figures out what’s going on and kills them using a broad-spectrum healing reagent (a wizard did it) that he has available.

As for the sword, I’d be enormously leery about anything that generates that much blood spatter, at least in a world where the zombie vector is saliva or possibly other bodily fluids. (I assume that the zombies have at least some vestigial blood flow if their digestive systems are working.

Never read that…I’ll have to look for it!

I agree with the splatter bit; a mace would be my “last ditch” weapon. If they are available, guns/bows are far preferable. Never close with an enemy if you dont have to!