Stuff that took you too long to realize

[Thudlow_Boink]

@Alessan

That Kanye West and Cornell West are two different people.

@moejoe

That Leslie Mann and Kristen Wiig are two different people. I just thought she kept changing her hair.

Speaking of “two different people,” some of us old-time Dopers still remember:

@lno

And finally, to Jerry Lewis, and Jerry Lee Lewis.
You two both deserve to rot in the umpteeth circle of hell. Not because you directly affected my life in any way, but because * for the love of God I lived twenty-four years without knowing you were two separate people.* I went through life thinking that “Goodness gracious great balls of HEY LAAAAAAADY!” came from the same person. I thought that the performer whom the French strangely love was the same performer who married his underage cousin in Kentucky. You have no RIGHT to do this to me. You have no IDEA how aghast I was when this was explained to me. No, this was not explained to me in the privacy of my own home. No, this was not explained to me in the company of a few close friends, who would snicker momentarily and then forget about this. No, this was not even explained to me while giving a presentation to a board of directors. YOU TWO KEPT UP THIS CHARADE UNTIL MY GIRLFRIEND WONDERED WHAT THE HELL I WAS TALKING ABOUT. She’ll never let me forget about this. She now has the nuclear weapon of relationships. She can merely whisper “Jerry Lewis!” into my ear and I’ll curl into a mortified fetal position. She can win any argument, no matter how many cites I provide, or how many links to authoritative sources.

Jerry Lewis, you go to hell. Jerry Lee Lewis, you lead the way.