# Stuff you do when you're absolutely cerain you're all alone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701 "2012-05-03T00:32:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/61 "2012-07-13T13:39:36Z")
Watch Dr. Who with the volume loud enough that I catch a little more of the asides and witty dialog. Sing. I’m not the world’s worst singer, but bad enough to annoy my family. Pick my nose. Look up pictures of Dopers who admit to masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/62 "2012-07-13T14:30:09Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Masturbate at random volumes (of sound, not of quantity). “oh god…oh GOD…[THE RED CYLINDER!!..](http://www.grc.nasa.gov/WWW/BGH/volume.html)pant…pant..” ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/63 "2012-07-13T17:58:37Z")
Sing, whistle, pleasure myself, eat icing. Not all at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/64 "2012-07-13T18:28:06Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Sing, whistle, pleasure myself, eat icing. Not all at the same time. Not that coordinated? ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/65 "2012-07-13T20:50:11Z")
Definitely go to the bathroom with the door open. Masturbate like a mofo. Put on my iPod and sing and dance whilst I clean. Do girlie maintenance (bush trimming, nail painting, waxing of things). If I have a whole day to myself alone in the house, I do nothing AT ALL productive. The cats and I hang out in bed and I read or watch tv (they nap as cats are wont to do). ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/66 "2012-07-14T00:45:31Z")
I loudly castigate forum titles that are spelled incorrectly. I also clean. In the nude if it’s hot. It’s not a pretty sight although my (charitable) girlfriend would beg to differ. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/67 "2012-07-14T03:26:45Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Hah! Now I know what happened when I tried to post this in another thread! I thought you did that on purpose.. \*Or is that only when you’re alone? -D/a ---
**Author:** ![x1not0time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/76d3ee/32.png) [@x1not0time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x1not0time)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/68 "2012-07-14T04:25:48Z")
I give myself long and elaborate lectures, as if I were also the audience. I picky my nose a lot. Also, crack everything I know to be crackable in my body. Watch tmz. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2012, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/69 "2012-07-14T06:46:20Z")
Have arguments with people about things that happened years ago. Bitch out my HS English teacher, or an abusive boss. I’m very much like Dr. House when I’m crushing them with my superior with and logic. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701/70 "2012-07-15T05:12:04Z")
Talk like Julia Child. Loudly. Most often while cooking. Dance wildly. Stalk the cats a la Frankenstein (arms out, making grrr sounds). Wear my hair down, unbrushed. Sometimes I’ll do weird styles to it. I’ve had to cut down, as it always seemed the minute I’d have a braided Pebbles thing, someone would knock at the door. Usually one of TheKid’s friends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-do-when-youre-absolutely-cerain-youre-all-alone/620701.md?page=3)