# Stuff you know about crime and law enforcement if your info comes from movies and TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451 "2010-08-25T20:50:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/61 "2010-08-26T13:20:41Z")
All cops will go to interview the absolute worse serial rapists and killers all by themselves! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/62 "2010-08-26T13:35:06Z")
I know you better start talking straight with us, punk, or else they’re gonna just love your little white keister down at Rikers. What do you say, partner - think this punk would go for two cartons of cigarettes on the open market? ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/63 "2010-08-26T13:35:31Z")
That someone is making revolvers that can actually shoot 10 to 12 times without reloading. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/64 "2010-08-26T13:45:47Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Court clerks and stenographers are the only people in the law enforcement system who can not research cases and arrest folk (give 'em time). …\*Special stenography division".. “whatever you say will go on on your permanent record”. A [del]plucky young [/del] hot female stenographer solves crimes with [del]his [/del]her transcribing skills. Judge;“would you read back what was said” Stenographer; “Witness; Yes, I killed him with an axe” Witness; (so far cool as an antarctic cucumber gets enraged) “I didn’t say that, besides, I used a hammer not an axe!” Stenographer; “Gotcha!” Judge; “bailiff, place the witness under arrest” … Or she solves the case by reviewing statements as she files them, noticing that detail everyone missed. Or she overhears a conversation, and using her shorthand skills records it for evidentiary purposes (which are admissible as she’s an _officer_ of the court) … Gotta be worth an Emmy or two. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/65 "2010-08-26T13:46:33Z")
All cops are excellent marksmen who never miss the bad guy, instead of the truth, which is that cops make Imperial Stormtroopers look like Annie Oakley. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/66 "2010-08-26T13:58:53Z")
> [@lazybratsche](#): > > Every major city in America also has regular gun battles between paramilitary SWAT teams and extremely heavy armed bank robbers/drug gangs/mercenary groups/soldiers gone rogue. We’re talking dozens of people armed with the most modern (and scary looking) automatic weapons, rocket launchers, plenty of grenades and other explosives, and likely a few armed helicopters or armored cars for the getaway. LA and New York host these sorts of shootouts at least once a month, making Fallujah at its worst seem like a lovely place to take a vacation. You’d probably be safer wandering through any war-torn city in the world rather than going down town to make a deposit at the bank. Once a _month?_ It happens every _day_ in Liberty City — at least, the days _I’m_ there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/67 "2010-08-26T13:59:12Z")
If the bad guy/gal is acquitted incorrectly or the case is dismissed on a technicality, there is a better than 50-50 chance they will be shot by an outraged relative of one of their victims, on the courthouse steps, immediately after the verdict. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/68 "2010-08-26T14:09:34Z")
If a homeless man is found murdered in NY City, a team of at least 4 detectives, 2 prosecutors, and at least one forensic expert will work tirelessly while wearing designer clothes to solve the case. At no point will someone point out that they are actually too busy and burned out to give much of a rat’s ass about the case and why don’t we just call it a suicide? Gangs are made up of vaguely ethnic people and pretty much dress like extras from the Thriller video. Policewomen have amazing racks. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/69 "2010-08-26T14:32:34Z")
Despite the fact that police go through a rigorous background check before being hired, every cop has something horrible in their past. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/70 "2010-08-26T14:52:50Z")
Besides being just plain evil, rich people hate their spouses, siblings, parents, in-laws, everyone related to them except their kids. But their kids hate them. In fact, the rich kid probably did it, and will scream a confession at Mommy and Daddy in the prosecutor’s office. During this outburst, Daddy will sit stunned with his mouth hanging open. Mommy will be glaring at Daddy because she hates him. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/71 "2010-08-26T15:40:47Z")
A guy can kill a couple of dozen people in broad daylight in front of scores of witnesses, but if he isn’t read his Miranda Rights, he gets off. ALL medical personnel will balk at giving out patient info, citing doctor-patient confidentiality, even after being told the patient is dead. Cops will accuse suspects of being killers the first time they meet, and the suspect will splutter and say something falsely incriminating instead of denying the accusation. When they finally get around to it, they’ll say “That’s impossible!” Who says that? Mathematicians and scientists maybe, but everyday people? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/72 "2010-08-26T15:48:11Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > Primary facts like eyewitness identifications and narratives are almost never subject to credibility attack, and different witnesses to the same event always see the same thing exactly the same way. There are no random errors or conflicts in peoples’ testimony. That’s not true. There’s always one witness whose testimony is a little off. During cross examination, he or she (usually she) will crack, make a complete witness stand confession, and explain in vivid detail the emotional reasons he or she is the actual guilty party. Somewhere nearby, but out of sight, a string bass section will be playing a soft but ominous single note with a fermata. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/73 "2010-08-26T15:49:59Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Mommy will be glaring at Daddy because she hates him. Well, yeah, that’s because daddy cheats on her with the maid and that’s why mommy drinks. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/74 "2010-08-26T15:54:08Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > When the local cops and the FBI both have jurisdiction in a case, these underpaid civil servants ALWAYS fight for the right to do more work than they strictly need to. They will never let someone else, who is perfectly willing to do it for them, take it off their hands. And the if the main character is FBI, the local cops are always gruff and stupid. If the main character is police, then the agents are aloof and will always pull rank. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/75 "2010-08-26T16:13:03Z")
A lawyer will ask to introduce evidence that is absaloutley not allowed ie. a statement beaten out of a witness after no Miranda and a threat to blackmail him if he doesn’t cooperate and the Judge will say “I’m going to allow this.” British Cops tend to revert to baby talk when interrogating a hardened criminal. "So it seems that Lennie has become the big boy in the playground and you’ll have to share your sweets with him if you don’t want your toys broken. Is that right Lennie?" ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/76 "2010-08-26T16:22:34Z")
If a witness/co-defendant changes their mind about testifying in the case, the ADA marches right up to them in the courthouse and threatens them with perjury or obstruction. This concerns no one, especially not their defense attorney, who shrugs his shoulders helplessly. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/77 "2010-08-26T18:39:31Z")
You’d be surprised at how many people the mentally retarded kill. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/78 "2010-08-26T18:54:18Z")
While a cop might suspect an innocent person, if the cop is pulled off a case by his\* superior officer, his suspicion is always accurate. (\*I was going to say “his or her”, but it’s never her) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/79 "2010-08-26T19:01:49Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > You’d be surprised at how many people the mentally retarded kill. But always for good reason- usually to protect somebody else. Retarded people also all speak like small children who have speech impediments. The guilty party is usually the most smug during the investigation. The wrongfully arrested innocent person is usually polite and earnest, just emotional. Rarely are innocent people obnoxious and rarely are the guilty capable of seeming innocent all the way through. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451/80 "2010-08-26T19:27:23Z")
Cops remember every single statement from person they ever talked to and the smallest details of every case they ever worked on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-know-about-crime-and-law-enforcement-if-your-info-comes-from-movies-and-tv/551451.md?page=5)