# Stuff you thought you had figured out as a child **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2016, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642 "2016-09-23T14:25:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/41 "2016-09-25T12:43:39Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Interestingly, if you use the other meaning of “satellite” – a moon of a planet – Lumpy’s post still makes sense. In the 1960s, we were aware of something like 25 moons in our solar system, not too hard to memorize – but now we’re up to more like 70, so forget it. (These numbers are estimates without looking it up, but you get the idea.) Lumpy said satellites that were _launched_, though. > [@Lumpy](#): > > I was born in 1961, so the space age wasn’t that old when I was a kid. Around the age of four or five or so I thought that each satellite was unique enough that you could memorize a list of every single one that had ever been **launched**. :o ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/42 "2016-09-25T13:35:52Z")
I used to think that every time a man and woman had sex, it resulted in a baby. So mom and dad had sex FOUR times (gross!!!). Up until I was 12, I always thought filet mignon was fish. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/43 "2016-09-25T13:40:21Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Lumpy said satellites that were _launched_, though. Right, I got that. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/44 "2016-09-25T14:38:55Z")
When I was around four years old, I became convinced that people lived on the street that matched their name. I got this impression from the fact that there was a Price St. two blocks over, and that my brother’s teacher was Mrs. Price. (The fact that the street we lived on didn’t follow this rule escaped me). There was a Fife Ave. perpendicular to the street we lived on. I assumed Barney Fife lived there. My mother eventually got me to understand that there was no relationship between a person’s name and the street they lived on. (E.g., Mrs. Price didn’t live on Price St. - she lived on the Collins Ferry Road). Also, that Barney Fife wasn’t a real person, and that the world wasn’t as small as I thought. Recently, I learned that the actor Don Knotts (who was from my hometown of Morgantown, WV) actually did name the Barney Fife character after Fife Ave. in his hometown. So I guess the world isn’t quite as big as I thought. ---
**Author:** ![ticker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@ticker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ticker)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/45 "2016-09-25T15:08:05Z")
I was 5 years old when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon. I was aware of all the excitement and I was very very excited too, but had no idea this was the first ever moon landing. A couple of years later when my best friend and his dad were discussing the first landing, I remember feeling really envious that he had managed to see THE FIRST ONE! I can only guess that being Apollo 11 I had assumed there must have been 10 priors. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/46 "2016-09-25T15:39:18Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > If you are looking down on a four-handled faucet knob that is horizontal in a rotational axis, then imagine turning it clockwise, the “top” north-pointing handle moves “right”, to the east then south etc. But the “bottom” south-facing handle moves “left” to the west then the north etc. > > That’s why his dad should have said “Clockwise!” Absolutely. “Clockwise” makes sense. Left/right are completely relative to which way you’re pointing. I hate it when someone is giving you directions and they say, “Well, go down Main Street and it’s on the left…” without telling you WHICH way you’re going down Main Street. :smack: They don’t seem to realize that it makes a difference. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/47 "2016-09-25T16:57:52Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I hate it when someone is giving you directions and they say, “Well, go down Main Street and it’s on the left…” without telling you WHICH way you’re going down Main Street. :smack: They don’t seem to realize that it makes a difference. Although most times I am giving directions, I am giving directions FROM a specific place, so I do know which way you will be going down Main Street. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/48 "2016-09-25T17:15:49Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > She also thinks Alaska and Hawaii are right off the coast of California, just like on grade school maps. That belief is not unusual in the least even among educated adults. I flew from Boston to Los Angeles to Oahu a few years ago and it was a bitch of a trip that took over 18 hours with layovers. When I told my coworkers about it, several of them couldn’t understand it at all because Los Angeles is _only_ a six hour direct flight away and they assumed you could just catch a quick commuter flight to Hawaii from there. I don’t think they believed me at all when I explained that the distance from Boston to Los Angeles is only a little more than Los Angeles to Oahu (well over 2500 miles for each leg). I doubt I understand the scale of Alaska myself. I know how impossibly big Texas is because I have traveled all over it (it takes seemingly forever to even cross the Dallas-Forth Worth area alone) but I can’t comprehend how another state can be over twice as big and have parts that are within spitting distance of Asia. It blows my mind that a single state can be much bigger than the vast majority of countries in the world (it ranks between Venezuela and Nigeria). My own misconception when I was a kid was that adults had some sort of secret knowledge, Illuminati style and possibly even knew witchcraft that would be revealed to me when I got old enough. Boy was I disappointed when I found out that that most of them when just overgrown idiots that could barely manage the mundane details of their lives and are easily tricked. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/49 "2016-09-25T17:30:08Z")
I believed that all the kids older than me would just bunch up together, then we’d graduate on masse. I thought the made up word “umpteen” was bad, like damn or hell. I also felt the same way about racing. What was the big deal? And I felt like I’d discovered the best way in the world to make money the first time I gave someone a dollar to get change. Man, you just give them one item and they give you FOUR back. Holy bananas! Why hasn’t anyone else caught onto that?? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/50 "2016-09-25T17:55:23Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It blows my mind that a single state can be much bigger than the vast majority of countries in the world (it ranks between Venezuela and Nigeria). Alexander II needed the money. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/51 "2016-09-25T18:02:35Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Around the age of four or five or so I thought that each satellite was unique enough that you could memorize a list of every single one that had ever been launched. I’m old enough to remember when that list began, with only one, Sputnik (Opal notwithstanding). And there were only 22 known natural satellites in the solar system, at that time. And other than the Milky Way, the only other known galaxies were Andromeda and the Magellanic Clouds. On the other hand, there were nine planets then. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/52 "2016-09-25T18:11:50Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > That’s why his dad should have said “Clockwise!” I don’t know if “clockwise” would have helped; at the time, my grasp of “left” and “right” was still pretty tenuous. > [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > When I was around four years old, I became convinced that people lived on the street that matched their name. I got this impression from the fact that there was a Price St. two blocks over, and that my brother’s teacher was Mrs. Price. (The fact that the street we lived on didn’t follow this rule escaped me). 'Tis a pity. I grew up in a neighborhood where the streets were named for gemstones; the number of strippers who lived there would have been amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/53 "2016-09-25T22:36:47Z")
Where I grew up there were signs on the freeway on-ramps that said “NO PEDS” (no pedestrians). Our family called those shorty ankle socks “peds”; I assumed, until I asked mom when I was ten, that certain socks were banned from the freeway 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2016, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/54 "2016-09-25T22:46:03Z")
> [@joyfool](#): > > And I felt like I’d discovered the best way in the world to make money the first time I gave someone a dollar to get change. Man, you just give them one item and they give you FOUR back. Holy bananas! Why hasn’t anyone else caught onto that?? I didn’t understand why people thought money was so important, when you could always just go down to the bank and get some more. My mom did it all the time! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/55 "2016-09-26T03:40:07Z")
When I first became aware of Presidential elections, I assumed the person who lost would become Vice-President. It didn’t occur to me how that would be an invitation to assassination. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/56 "2016-09-26T07:25:53Z")
When I was about 4, I believed that some point (maybe around 6 or 7) boys were turned into girls and girls were turned into boys. Why I believed such a thing totally escapes me. My guess is that someone told it to me as some sort of joke and I believed it. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/57 "2016-09-26T08:01:10Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I believed dogs and cats to be the same species, dogs male and cats female. > That obviously explained their interaction. > [@panache45](#): > > I have a first cousin, once removed, who still believes this … even though she’s in her '60s. She thinks a dog impregnates a cat, who gives birth to a litter of mixed puppies and kittens. I seem to have come across a fair number of instances of kids (or even adults, as with **panache45** ’s cousin) with the above misapprehensions about cats and dogs. Maybe it’s one of those things which feel as though they ought to be true… > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The other one that confused me was the phrase “every other” to mean alternating. Someone would say something like (describing a string of Christmas lights) “every other light is green.” That meant that there was one red light (or whatever) and every other one in the world was green, but I could see that wasn’t the case. Took a while to get that sorted out. I had exactly that problem with that expression. It was one which my parents didn’t use: I first heard it from a teacher at school, and was initially completely flummoxed. > [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I used to think that every time a man and woman had sex, it resulted in a baby. So mom and dad had sex FOUR times (gross!!!). I was even more off-beam as regards this one: thought that a married couple had sex just once in their lives, after which they in due course they had – however many kids, of a variable number, which that particular sex act determined that they’d have. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/58 "2016-09-26T08:03:43Z")
We had two trees in the back yard. One of them was cut down, leaving a stump. I diligently watered it every time I watered the lawn, making sure it was thoroughly wet, so it would turn into a petrified stump. I knew it would take a long time and it was important to keep it wet. Then, after a long time–maybe months–my mother hired people to dig it out so she could plant something else there. Noooo! I told her I was working on getting a petrified stump there and wouldn’t that be cool? So then I learned that “a long time” really doesn’t mean “in your lifetime.” And requires silica. **clairobscur** , I believed that same thing! I believed it (I think) because I had one cousin who was a girl, who was my age. And many other cousins who were boys, who were other ages. So I was eagerly awaiting the day when I became a boy and could get all the fun toys and play baseball. Bitterly disappointed on that one. Well, and about the petrified tree also. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/59 "2016-09-26T08:57:45Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > When I was in elementary school, my mother drove past a drug store. > > I thought to myself, _What, it – it’s right here‽ How have the cops not found this place? I’m apparently going to grow up to be the world’s greatest detective!_ The police should also take a look at the banks. Not only do they supposedly keep your money safe, but they even add on interest…obviously a loss-making venture. They _must_ all be crooked. * * * Generally as a kid I was a know-it-all, and had a number of adults around that indulged me. I think I would have matured a lot faster if more people had said “You don’t know what you’re talking about”… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Saffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saffer/32/6440_2.png) [@Saffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saffer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2016, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642/60 "2016-09-26T09:15:57Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I don’t remember stuff that I thought I had figured out; I remember stuff that confused me. Maybe it’s just another way of expressing the same idea. > > I remember my dad watering the lawn, and he told me to go over to the faucet where the hose was connected and turn off the water. I got there and then shouted “which way is off?” He shouted back “to the right”. I looked at the knob on the faucet and figured that if the top of the knob went to the right, then the bottom would be going to the left, and so I was no closer to a solution than before I asked. And dad was not a patient man. > > The other one that confused me was the phrase “every other” to mean alternating. Someone would say something like (describing a string of Christmas lights) “every other light is green.” That meant that there was one red light (or whatever) and every other one in the world was green, but I could see that wasn’t the case. Took a while to get that sorted out. > > Yeah, that one had me going for a while, too. > > We had a slot car set when I was a kid. I knew it ran on electricity that ran through the track, was picked up by brushes under the front of each car, and powered a motor that turned the rear wheels. When I found out that an electric generator works because something turns it, I thought we could just put a small generator in each car, connect it to the front wheels, use that to power the motor, and it would run forever. Similarly, I once had the bright idea of using kettles to drive the power plants, and the power plants to drive the kettles, and then the extra energy to power the neighborhood. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stuff-you-thought-you-had-figured-out-as-a-child/766642.md?page=4)