# Stupendous Stupidity in Science Fiction (open spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 27, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932 "2009-08-27T17:57:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/61 "2009-08-28T14:57:35Z")
Energy considerations. The floaters we see are all low-mass devices (except for Jabba’s barque, but Hutt are known for displays of conspicuous consumption), and an anti-grav generator large enough to counteract planetary gravity woud take up too much room that would be better used for ordnance and armor. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/62 "2009-08-28T15:05:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > \*Signs \*: Yes! Let’s invade the Acid Planet of the Acid People! Where it rains acid, where the inhabitants have hot and cold running acid in their homes, and where the locals spit, pee and bleed acid! And let’s do it NAKED! This is because they aren’t aliens, but Boogie-men. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/63 "2009-08-28T15:36:08Z")
[quote=“sqweels, post:43, topic:507932”] [li]After touting the T-rex’s great sense of smell, the lady dinosaur expert spends half the movie running around with the blood of the baby T-rex on her jacket.[/li][/QUOTE] My husband and I were calling her TWSP, The World’s Stupidest Paleontologist. She was also the one who was going on and on about non-interference and the like, then went to pet the widdle baby dinos. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/64 "2009-08-28T15:46:49Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > \*Signs \*: Yes! Let’s invade the Acid Planet of the Acid People! Where it rains acid, where the inhabitants have hot and cold running acid in their homes, and where the locals spit, pee and bleed acid! And let’s do it NAKED! This made me laugh. Regarding Space: Above and Beyond, I seem to recall reading that the writers were bent out of shape over the abrupt cancellation of the series, and the plot of the final episode was deliberately awful. In one of the earliest episodes of the Star Trek with Scott Bakula, the hot human guy and hot Vulcan chick got exposed to some spores or something, and had to stay in quarantine while they smeared anti-spore gel all over each other. Except for the naughty bits. Evidently dangerous alien spores have a sense of decorum, and avoid the underwear area. ---
**Author:** ![Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eugene_of_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/65 "2009-08-28T16:04:06Z")
Independence Day. Fun movie but puh-leeze. Just puh-leeze. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/66 "2009-08-28T16:28:49Z")
> [@sqweels](#): > > [ul] > [li]Every member of a large group manages to fall asleep in a rainy jungle and get snuck up on by a T-rex. [/li][/ul] To be fair, they did establish in JP-I that _T. rex_ was a stealthy bugger. I think the scientists at InGen neglected to inform the Jurassic Park staff that, in addition to using frog DNA to fill in the gaps in the dino DNA, they were also using ninja DNA… ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/67 "2009-08-28T16:37:34Z")
To be fair, _Signs_ was not a science-fiction movie proper. It was a parable. Complaining about realism in a parable is like pointing out that a camel is too large to fit through the eye of a needle; it means you didn’t get it. _Independence Day_ – science fiction flubs aside, how about the idea that, before the humans ever knew about the force fields, they still thought air-to-air missiles with tiny warheads would bring down a 15-mile-wide metal object as complex as a city? That’s like expecting to sink an _Iowa_-class battleship by waiting for the toaster to pop up. [QUOTE=sqweels] They have this trailer that’s clearly designed to withstand attacks by large dinosaurs, but it’s rear window is easily-shattered plar glass and they park it next to a cliff. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Darwin’s Finch] To be fair, they did establish in JP-I that T. rex was a stealthy bugger. [/QUOTE] In the first Jurassic Park, they also established that \*cliffs \*are stealthy buggers. It’s the \*cliff \*that sneaks up on them during the first T. Rex attack; it wasn’t there earlier when they were looking at dinosaurs. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/68 "2009-08-28T16:40:44Z")
> [@The\_Falling\_Reverend](#): > > RS-Sir, the speeders lack the firepower to take down an AT-AT, may I be so bold to recommend launching our star-fighers. They are after all, the ships the took out the death star, hell we still have the very ship that fired the final shot, and the pilot too. They didn’t beat the Death Star by firing through its armor–they found a tiny exhaust port that the snub fighters were maneuverable enough to drop a couple of bombs down. > [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I couldn’t watch Space Above and Beyond. They lost me early in the pilot. It had a shaky start, but it really did get a \*\*lot \*\*better by the end. > [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Thanks M. Night. Shamalamadingdong! Personally, I like to call him M. Night Shammylammyman. (Also, how weird must his first name be that he goes by his middle name when his middle name is Night? Alternatively, how pretentious?) > [@The\_Tooth](#): > > I vote for the guys with the tanks perched on tall, skinny legs. Those are AT-STs, in contrast to AT-ATs. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > And spacecraft maneuver with control surfaces in space. :rolleyes: Where did that happen? I mean, fighters like X-Wings collapse and expand their “wings,” but I don’t remember those wings being designed with airfoils or anything like that–certaily no moving parts like elevators. > [@Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](#): > > Independence Day. > > Fun movie but puh-leeze. Just puh-leeze. See “all computers in all movies ever.” More or less. ETA: > [@Sailboat](#): > > That’s like expecting to sink an _Iowa_-class battleship by waiting for the toaster to pop up. This is quite possibly my favorite analogy ever. I can’t stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/69 "2009-08-28T16:45:13Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Personally, I like to call him M. Night Shammylammyman. (Also, how weird must his first name be that he goes by his middle name when his middle name is Night? Alternatively, how pretentious? Thought I’d read something on this, so I checked Wikipedia - he was born Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan, and made up his middle name in college. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/70 "2009-08-28T16:49:35Z")
So, pretentious then. Okay! ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/71 "2009-08-28T16:54:51Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > In the first Jurassic Park, they also established that \*cliffs \*are stealthy buggers. It’s the \*cliff \*that sneaks up on them during the first T. Rex attack; it wasn’t there earlier when they were looking at dinosaurs. Indeed. They also established that _Dilophosaurus_ can open car doors, that _Stegosaurus_ is spelled _Steg **a** saurus_, that _Velociraptor_ stood 6’ tall, that dinosaur fossils are found in loose sand, that despite the _T. rex_’s great smelling abilities (which apparently weren’t established until JP-II) it can’t smell two humans when it’s nose is literally inches from them, that… There was a whole lot of stupid in JP-I. And JP-II. Oh, and in JP-III. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/72 "2009-08-28T16:57:05Z")
As for why the Empire didn’t use TIEs against the Hoth base, TIEs can’t function in atmosphere. It’s yet another way that the Rebel ships are superior to the Imperial ones (which the Empire doesn’t care about, since they’ve got tons of ships, and they consider their pilots expendable). ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/73 "2009-08-28T17:33:30Z")
The characters of _Star Trek: TOS_ deserve some kind of amnesia award. They run into some kind of godlike alien approximately every third week, and each time they’re completely befuddled when weird things start happening. One or two “but this is impossible!” moments are okay, but every time they’re absolutely astonished when the giant-brained deus ex machina or talking space cloud or fake Greek god shows up and starts lecturing them. If they’ve been traveling for the better part of a five-year mission, being so skeptical about magical aliens is like doubting the existence of Canadians. Furthermore, after they’ve seen all of this freaky shit, they’re still amazed and doubtful about the Horta! “Silicon-based life? But that’s impossible!” Really? After you’ve talked to sentient beings of pure energy, etc., who look like talking stars? It’s okay, though, since all they have to do is set all their instruments from “Carbon” to “Silicon”, and then it’s a breeze to find it and monitor it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/74 "2009-08-28T17:50:07Z")
The Core Ohhh that movie is bad. OK, the core the earth stops spinning and we are all going to die unless a plucky crew of misfits can drill down in some sort of dirtsubmarine with a big laser drill hooked to the front and then set off a series of atomic bombs to get it to start spining again. OK, I’ll accept THAT. I’ll suspend my disbelief for that. BUT The drilling ship is boasted to be built in segments so if one segment is damaged then it can be cut loose and the ship goes on. (do you think that will happen later in the movie?) But what if segment 3 gets damaged? If you cut off that part then segments 4 and 5 are gone as well. But the real pisser, the most unbelievable thing was near the end, and if you haven’t seen this and spoiling it will cause you to not see then I will but up for sainthood for spoiling the picture. OK, so the blow up the bombs, the earth is saved and only two people of the crew have survived the ordeal. (Aaron Eckhart and Hillary Swank). Their section is damaged and laying on the bottom of the ocean, They have limited air. They assume they will not be rescued. Given all this, you DON’T put the movies on Hillary Swank! Hey, I’m kind of shy with ladies but I know when you have to take a shot and this circumstance, you may as well. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/75 "2009-08-28T18:04:48Z")
Miller: > [@](#): > > They also mention at one point that they’re having trouble getting the snowspeeders to work in the cold weather. Are you sure of that? I thought it was STORMS the snowspeeders couldn’t handle, that’s why the rebels could send a snowspeeder to rescue Luke (and would-be-rescuer Han, later) the following morning, but not at the immediate time that Luke didn’t report in from his Tauntaun patrol. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/76 "2009-08-28T18:07:38Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > _Alien Nation:_ Aliens of a species that evolved on (or was gene-engineered for) an environment near enough to Earth’s that they can breathe our air and eat our food . . . will dissolve in salt water. Out of curiosity, how do slugs and snails react to salt water? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/77 "2009-08-28T18:11:00Z")
_Stargate_: The baddies have a super weapon, which is basically a stick that you point at someone. It then makes some funny noises, and there are flashing lights and so on, and 10 seconds later a beam of light shoots out and kills your target. This could be easily countered by moving out of the way when the noises and flashing lights start, but _nobody ever thinks of doing that_. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/78 "2009-08-28T18:14:53Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > \*Signs \*: Yes! Let’s invade the Acid Planet of the Acid People! Where it rains acid, where the inhabitants have hot and cold running acid in their homes, and where the locals spit, pee and bleed acid! And let’s do it NAKED! Alien frat initiation! ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/79 "2009-08-28T18:37:48Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > As for why the Empire didn’t use TIEs against the Hoth base, TIEs can’t function in atmosphere. Not true they did fine on Bespin which is nothing but atmosphere being a gas giant.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932/80 "2009-08-28T19:22:00Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > The thing that bothers me about the walkers is, the Star Wars universe obviously has anti-gravity technology. Landspeeders, snowspeeders, floating probe robots, etc… > Why not make really big hover tanks? No worries about getting your legs tangled up then. Remember how the ground was shaking in the Rebel Base when the Walkers were still _miles_ away? **That** is why they built the Walkers the way they did: fear, baby. Yes, the AT-AT’s have all sorts of other flaws, but when the enemy is too busy peeing themselves to mount a good defense, that counts for a lot. The Empire built their ships big, bigger and Effin-GINORMOUS for the same reason: fear. When a Star Destroyer is big enough to pull a capital ship _into_ it like a fighter, and a Super Star Destroyer is beg enough to do that to Star Destroyer, most sane folks won’t even _consider_ trying to fight them. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > _Alien Nation:_ Aliens of a species that evolved on (or was gene-engineered for) an environment near enough to Earth’s that they can breathe our air and eat our food . . . will dissolve in salt water. The Newcomers were gengineered to be physically strong, tough, etc. etc by the race who had ensloved them. They were _intentionally_ given that vulnerability to salt-water so they could be more easily controlled. I mean, who wants a race of super-human slaves if you can’t keep them in line? And if you can do that sort of genetic tampering, it makes sense to make them vulnerable to something that is even more common than dirt so you’ll never run out of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupendous-stupidity-in-science-fiction-open-spoilers/507932.md?page=5)