# Stupid advertising jingles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 25, 2018, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543 "2018-07-25T04:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/21 "2018-07-25T16:16:53Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Obviously not memorable enough. You got the phone number wrong. > > “nine seven seven one nine oh oh” They do this to the music from Jenny and I immediately forget who they are and what phone number they use. Jenny: [https://youtu.be/6WTdTwcmxyo](https://youtu.be/6WTdTwcmxyo) ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/22 "2018-07-25T17:49:11Z")
Some oldies here. “Chock Full o’ Nuts is that wonderful coffee Better coffee a millionaire’s money can’t buy!” or the insipid “International House of Pancakes - fun to do. International House of Pancakes - just for the fun of it, ooo.” ---
**Author:** ![Rough\_Draft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@Rough\_Draft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rough_Draft)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/23 "2018-07-25T18:08:49Z")
> [@wonky](#): > > The “sharing” Coke ads, like this one: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgxXtNLfXU8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgxXtNLfXU8) Between this stupid song and the ads where low-level celebrities tell me it’s okay if I drink a Diet Coke, or not, I’m thinking Coca-Cola needs a new advertising agency, _bad_. My contribution is a local radio ad jingle (they’re always the worst) that consists of these lyrics, sung incredibly soulfully: _Take I-25 to Exit 235 Then 5 miles west to the Tree Farm!_ ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/24 "2018-07-25T18:53:55Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Some oldies here. > > “Chock Full o’ Nuts is that wonderful coffee > Better coffee a millionaire’s money can’t buy!” Even the Bert Parks version? IIRC, the company got him to sing the jingle in a commercial aired during the first Miss America pageant following his replacement. Here’s a local one I just started hearing, for The Barnes Firm: “Call 1-800-Eight Million” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/25 "2018-07-25T20:53:02Z")
“When you use 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific Shampoo/Boys say ‘Gee, your hair smells terrific’ to you!” ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/26 "2018-07-25T21:05:32Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Obviously not memorable enough. You got the phone number wrong. > > “nine seven seven one nine oh oh” Did you fact-check? Or does your memory work better than mine? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/27 "2018-07-25T22:56:44Z")
> [@campp](#): > > Did you fact-check? Or does your memory work better than mine? 😃 I think they play it every other inning break during Diamondbacks games. Since I never leave the room at the commercials, I see them ALL over and over and over. It’s stuck in my head now… ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/28 "2018-07-25T23:14:04Z")
I now have the damn “Safelite repair, Safelite replace” mucked up with Life lock. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/29 "2018-07-26T01:53:23Z")
I’m done with “Wayfair, you’re just what I need!”. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/30 "2018-07-26T11:03:13Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > In a different vein, I hate the one made in 1969 for STP. It used the Toreador song from Carmen. 49 years later I still have it stuck in my head. I should write it out, so you all can suffer along with me. The song, was, however, clever, and not stupid. > > And despite the endorsement of King Richard, STP is, and shall always be, a ripoff. I remember " S T P, you need your STP…one little can… keeps you running free." Then ending with “when engines need a friend… you must agree… that friend is STP!” What’s in the middle I don’t recall. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/31 "2018-07-26T12:44:00Z")
How about “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, Oh What a Relief It Is”? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/32 "2018-07-26T13:18:09Z")
An oldie but a goodie: Ace is the place with the helpful hardware _folks_. How long did it take them to figure out women could be helpful and know hardware. Yeah, and that share a Coke song borders on pornography. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/33 "2018-07-26T14:29:02Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Yeah, and that share a Coke song borders on pornography. It always reminds me of this [Tom Lehrer classic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jKiunSRzAI). ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/34 "2018-07-26T14:34:05Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I remember " S T P, you need your STP…one little can… keeps you running free." Then ending with “when engines need a friend… you must agree… that friend is STP!” > What’s in the middle I don’t recall. He’s my recollection (some of my words differ from yours; can’t say who is correct any more. That commercial seems to be lost forever lost) S T P you need some STP One little can can keep you running free Smooooother, cooler, quieter, longer too The Racer’s Edge was made for YOU-OO [I can’t remember the next two lines, so I 'll use yours] _When engines need a friend You must agree_ You need some STP I know well that memory is a tricky thing. What I do know is, I can’t listen to Carmen without adding these lyrics. They’re more insidious in my brain than the Gilligan’s Island version: Neither a borrower nor a lender be, Do not forget: Stay out of debt; Think twice, and take this good advice from me, Guard that old solvency. There’s just one other thing you ought to do, To thine own self be true. ---
**Author:** ![jeffreywprice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e79b87/32.png) [@jeffreywprice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeffreywprice)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/35 "2019-11-12T05:52:30Z")
Instead of “The Racer’s Edge was made for you”, I remember “STP was made for you” ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/36 "2019-11-12T06:39:39Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I also have the misfortune of hearing “Safelite repair, Safelite replace” every morning, followed by a commercial for a local ac repair shop, Acree Air. : In 2011 we were in Italy visiting my uncle at a hospital. He was in the rehabilitation room, which had a TV on and suddenly I heard what sounded like the Safelite jingle in Italian. I looked up and sure enough, it was a Safelite ad. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/37 "2019-11-12T08:40:56Z")
Call 1-800-588-2300, EMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/38 "2019-11-12T12:17:19Z")
Breathe happy, Febreze, la, la, la, la, la. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/39 "2019-11-12T14:01:19Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I know well that memory is a tricky thing. What I do know is, I can’t listen to Carmen without adding these lyrics. They’re more insidious in my brain than the Gilligan’s Island version: > > Neither a borrower nor a lender be, > Do not forget: Stay out of debt; > Think twice, and take this good advice from me, > Guard that old solvency. > There’s just one other thing you ought to do, > To thine own self be true. That \*is \*the _ **GI** _ version. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2019, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543/40 "2019-11-12T14:14:02Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Kars 4 kids I wonder how many people drive their car into a tree when that stupid jingle comes on. I can see it being just the last straw to drive someone over the edge. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-advertising-jingles/818543.md?page=3)