# Stupid baby, come out already! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2006, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624 "2006-11-24T08:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/1 "2006-11-24T08:06:13Z")
No, don’t worry- I’m not spontaneously pregnant. A good friend of mine was due on the 17th, but that little bugger is clinging to her uterus like. . . something that clings to something. Sorry, it’s midnight and I’m a bit tired to think up creative similes. Anywho, she’s been having contractions for a few weeks now, but over the last week they’ve gotten stronger and more regular. As of our call half an hour ago, they are 8 minutes apart. What’s throwing her is that she is hardly having any stomach cramping, rather it’s her back that’s in so much pain that she can hardly do anything to stop from screeching and flopping around on the floor. She called her mom and, lo and behold, her mom never had a single painful stomach contraction during her 4 labor and deliveries. So, on her doctor’s advice, she’ll be going into the hospital when her contractions are 4 minutes apart. She wants me to be there and I promised long ago that I will be. The problem? She’s in Las Vegas and I’m in Bakersfield. That’s a 3 and a half hour drive with no traffic. I’ve got a bag packed, cash ready, and my car keys by the door. I feel like an expectant father :p. She’s going to call me when they are four minutes apart so I can take off. Who thinks I’ll make it on time? We should start a pool on whether or not I’ll be on time, early, way early, etc. Needless to say, I’m just writing this thread to pass some time, but I suppose I should get some sleep. She tried yelling at the baby to come out, but he’s being a jerk and not listening. Oh and [this is him](http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4/diosabellissima/Shea/Julian.jpg) and [this is me and the little selfish jerk about 3 months ago.](http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4/diosabellissima/Vegas%20w%20Shea%20N%20Ry/100_15961.jpg) He only thinks about himself, let me tell ya. PS: Was this M and P enough? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/2 "2006-11-24T08:13:49Z")
I suspect you’ll make it there with plenty of time. Despite what TV might want you to think, the majority of babies are not born in an elevator an hour after the contractions start. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/3 "2006-11-24T08:17:18Z")
[QUOTE=bouv] I suspect you’ll make it there with plenty of time. Despite what TV might want you to think, the majority of babies are not born in an elevator an hour after the contractions start. 😛 [/QUOTE] But they _do_ come out perfectly clean with the ability to move their heads and stuff, right? . . . Right? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/4 "2006-11-24T08:21:36Z")
Hmmm … three hours away? And you’re not going until she’s getting contractions every four minutes? I’m betting you’ll get there just in time to see your friend and her little baby fall into exhausted (but hopefully peaceful) sleep after their exertions. Disclaimer: I say this as someone whose babies were both waaaay late, but when they finally decided to come out, they were in a big hurry. Both about 5 hours from first twinge to “hi baby” (admittedly the first was with pitocin, but still…). A lot can happen in three hours. Oh, and let me join in the chorus for you… COME OUT, BABY! COME OUT! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/5 "2006-11-24T08:35:49Z")
Well, you know, that’s actually my concern. Since she _is_ a bit overdue, I can’t help but wonder if she’s just going to pop. I mean, I know that- as Bouv pointed out- babies don’t just come flying out (most of the time!), but she’s really, really, really huge and time is a tickin’. Who knows. I told her to call my when they are 5-6 min apart instead, that way I can come hang out. I figure that, if all else, I can keep her entertained. She’s bored out of her mind, as she’s too huge to even waddle downstairs from their apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/6 "2006-11-24T08:40:59Z")
Why not head out now, and if there is waiting to be done you can nap? Better to be safe than late… You said it she was ok with the idea of you hanging out as her labor progressed? Wouldn’t the traffic be very light right now? ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/7 "2006-11-24T08:44:27Z")
Of course, it went unsaid. Good luck to your friend, I hope everything goes smoothly for her, and that the baby is healthy. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/8 "2006-11-24T08:48:26Z")
\*\*Zabali\_Clawbane \*\*, I’m sitting tight here because I do have work in the morning. Granted, I work for my dad and he’s on warning, but I do like having money. That’s an 8 hour day I might miss! As soon as she starts sneaking into more regular and more frequent contractions, I’ll definitely head out. Plus, it’s way late now and any sleep I can get in my bed over the next few days, the better. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/9 "2006-11-24T11:31:12Z")
My daughter was born a week early, but my girlfriend thinks she may have been actually overdue and the conception date perhaps wrong, because of how large and well developed she was. My aunt was overdue and at the suggestion of my grandmother, her partner took her out for a drive to stimulate her. They got caught up in the middle of a car chase, stuck between the police and the criminals and because of the road, unable to break free immediately. She delivered soon after 😛 ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/10 "2006-11-24T11:33:49Z")
We took our pregnant friend away on another friend’s hen weekend - twelve girlies, one long session in the spa, lots of lazing about and nattering…went home on Monday morning, she gave birth the following day. Six weeks early. Those hen weekends are dangerous! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/11 "2006-11-24T11:43:04Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] A good friend of mine was due on the 17th, but that little bugger is clinging to her uterus like. . . something that clings to something. [/QUOTE] Saran-Wrap? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/12 "2006-11-24T18:16:13Z")
Hi again, all! No baby yet. He’s still being a stubburn little jerk. She called the hospital, but they told her not to come in until she had severe stomach cramping. This is even after she explained what her mom experienced. She said she’s just going to hold out until she can’t take it anymore and go in. Her mom has been calling my friend’s husband and telling him to take her to the hospital stat, but he’s trying to go by what the hospital is saying. Not a bad logic, if ya’ ask me. In the mean time, she’s in horrible pain and bored out of her mind. They don’t have a car and he’s at work, so she’s sitting at the apartment trying to do her nails. Oh, no worries- if she needs to be rushed to the hospital, husband’s dad lives a few blocks away and is on call. I told her that I’ve got finals on Monday and Tuesday, so I might just come hang out for a day or two tonight. I figure that if nothing else, I can keep her mind off her owies for a little bit. And yeah, she’s tried _everything_: sex, sex, and more sex, deep knee bends, dancing, putting a massager on her tummy, yelling at the baby :), salad with balsamic vinegar, the works. Now she’s singing at the top of her lungs, dancing, and randomly shaking her belly. She said her theory is that if he’s going to be a selfish little jerk and stay in there, she’s going to make him as uncomfortable as possible. She’s going to be a great mom! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/13 "2006-11-24T18:20:26Z")
Send her some [White Castles](http://www.whitecastle.com/) . When the Kid was waiting to pop out, that’s what finally did the trick. Sliders and lots and lots of sex. Never fails. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/14 "2006-11-24T18:23:46Z")
Huh…and I thought you _weren’t_ suppossed to have sex in the third trimester. Just goes to show how little I know about that whole process. (So how does the baby get in there in the first place? Does the stork put it in there? I mean, why doewsn’t he just drop it off on the doorstep? It seems must less intrusive that way.) ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/15 "2006-11-24T18:24:05Z")
Sadly, thar be no White Castles anywhere near here. We have the ghetto ones in the frozen food section, does that count? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/16 "2006-11-24T18:27:18Z")
[QUOTE=bouv] Huh…and I thought you _weren’t_ suppossed to have sex in the third trimester. Just goes to show how little I know about that whole process. (So how does the baby get in there in the first place? Does the stork put it in there? I mean, why doewsn’t he just drop it off on the doorstep? It seems must less intrusive that way.) [/QUOTE] Apparently, there’s something in semen (Google says: prostaglandin) that makes it make the cervix all squishy. Plus, the bouncing can make the baby want to get out. Plus the female orgasm makes the uterus contract and stuff, which might cause real contractions to kick in. A few months ago the doctor told them to stop having sex, but that’s just because she was going in to some hardcore prelabor a little too early on. Now the doctor told them to go at it like bunnies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/17 "2006-11-24T18:38:41Z")
As long as the amniotic sac (“bag of waters”) hasn’t ruptured, generally sex is OK until delivery. (At that point, you’re in the doctor’s way.) Don’t let the men know, but apparently prostaglandins taken orally are just as effective as those applied to the cervix. If you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/18 "2006-11-24T18:55:43Z")
But at least taken vaginally, you (hopefully) get the extra benefit of the female orgasm. I mean, unless there are women that can orgasm just from giving men oral. If those women exist, we need to REALLY not tell the men. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/19 "2006-11-24T19:19:08Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Hi again, all! No baby yet. He’s still being a stubburn little jerk. [/QUOTE] Has she been watching the news, with the volume up loud enough for the baby to hear? I wouldn’t come out either if I’d been hearing the news lately. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624/20 "2006-11-24T22:19:00Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] I mean, unless there are women that can orgasm just from giving men oral. If those women exist, we need to REALLY not tell the men. [/QUOTE] A brief hijack to point out that I once knew a girl who claimed this. I, of course was more than eager to assist her in this regard. 😃 I think the essential nutrients are also in the frozen WC’s, so go at it. Well, not you necessarily. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-baby-come-out-already/381624.md?page=2)