# Stupid BBQ Pit Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 27, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085 "2002-11-27T11:21:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/1 "2002-11-27T11:21:19Z")
(Apologies to Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in _Misery_) * * * You mean old fussy gussy. I hope you go to H E double hocky sticks. Isn’t it enough that I rescued you from that ficky wicky snow storm and then hauled your butt back here to my warm house? Where you just EAT EAT EAT EAT and don’t appreciate _anything_? […SMACK!..] Didn’t I feed you and clothe you and tend to your injuries? […KA POW!..] Didn’t I go out in the blizzard just to buy you some stupid paper? Paper that you didn’t even like?! […WHAM!..] God, I love you! […reflecting…] I’m sorry I said the “B” word, Paul. Sometimes, my mouth just does what it wants to. I’m going to go wash it now. You just get some rest. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/2 "2002-11-27T11:32:35Z")
Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/3 "2002-11-27T11:39:36Z")
[Here you go!](http://www.shade.ca/getarticle.asp?i=183) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/4 "2002-11-27T11:49:48Z")
Who’s a dirty birdie, Mr Man? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/5 "2002-11-27T11:58:21Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/6 "2002-11-27T14:31:52Z")
Clue me in. Why the hell is this called ‘Stupid BBQ Pit Rants’? I’m from Dixie. Speak slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/7 "2002-11-27T14:37:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*You mean old fussy gussy. I hope you go to H E double hocky sticks…you just EAT EAT EAT EAT and don’t appreciate _anything_? > > […SMACK!..] > > Didn’t I feed you and clothe you and tend to your injuries? > > […KA POW!..] > > Didn’t I go out in the blizzard just to buy you some stupid paper? Paper that you didn’t even like?! > > […WHAM!..] > > God, I love you! > > […reflecting…] > > I’m sorry I said the “B” word…You just get some rest. \*\* Mom? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/8 "2002-11-27T14:59:14Z")
I just don’t get performance art. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/9 "2002-11-27T15:06:42Z")
OK! OK! I’ll write another %@#%@#^@ crappo romance novel. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/10 "2002-11-27T15:15:45Z")
**Obscure MSPSIMS opening posts** …I sort of got some enjoyment in my bemusement though 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/11 "2002-11-27T15:19:33Z")
This sense no make. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/12 "2002-11-27T16:13:36Z")
Well, the idea was for everybody to post their own Stupid Pit Rant, but the first “huh?” kind of submarined me when I had to provide a link to explain it. Sorry about that, folks. I’ll try to do better next time. Gosh darn it. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/13 "2002-11-27T16:15:11Z")
I thought it was a parody and didn’t comment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Guest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@Second\_Guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Guest)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/14 "2002-11-27T16:50:56Z")
No… wire… hangers… **EVER**!!! There. How was that? ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/15 "2002-11-27T17:18:37Z")
Hey, I got it! [sub]but I don’t have anything to contribute. Yet[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/16 "2002-11-27T17:41:01Z")
The **METRIC** system, for the love of God… ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/17 "2002-11-27T17:50:57Z")
How about cellphone users who smoke and drive S.U.Vs? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/18 "2002-11-27T17:59:36Z")
Car crashes on I-95 and Visa commercials… Oh, and alcohol at Christmas parties, or the lack thereof. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/19 "2002-11-27T18:05:58Z")
BimZeeee: “Now if Superman could just rewind the earth’s time, I would skip the Visa commercial with the twins.” (Recent viewers of the pit know what I mean, no?) * * * What’s all this about sst? If you can’t say it, why talk about it? We don’t want sst at JFK, we think sst is harming the environment. What are you being so secret about? Excuse me, that’s S S T, not sst. Super Sonic Transport. The Concorde. Oh. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085/20 "2002-11-27T19:39:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*How about cellphone users who smoke and drive S.U.Vs? \*\* Yeah, but the folks I _really_ hate are the _circumcised_, cellphone users who smoke and drive SUVs! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-bbq-pit-rants/139085.md?page=2)